Editorials
  • Itsgbanks

    and the bartender said “that joke starts out with a rhyme”

  • http://twitter.com/verysimplesimon Simon

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and hand me the key.

  • rayrei

    … and the bartender says, “get the f*** outta here.”

  • http://twitter.com/kevio_17 Kevin O’Connor

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, meeting up with their human friend for a drink. The human goes up to the bar to order, but the charr barman says ‘sorry, we don’t serve food in here’. 

  • http://twitter.com/CheekyLee Lee Weedall

    The bartender says “What do you think this is? SOME KIND OF A JOKE? GET OUT!”

  • Adam402

    … to kill 10 rats. :)

    … because of W, A, S and D.

    … and asked for three ales. The bartender replied, “Come back when you’re level 21″

    Adam_402@yahoo.co.uk

  • Pannenkoek

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and they have a pretty good time and went home at a reasonable time.

  • Lolvik

    … but this dynamic event wasn’t appropriate.

    • Lolvik

      An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… but this dynamic event wasn’t appropriate. *

  • Haas

    Then turn back around.

  • OhMyTralala

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… And thus you have Guild Wars 3.

  • Shadowsong

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. Ouch.

  • http://twitter.com/kevio_17 Kevin O’Connor

    Btw, as I posted using my twitter account, I can be contacted via twitter if I win right?

    • DutchSunshine

      Yeah, sure, that will do! :)

  • http://twitter.com/iSpid3r Vlad Ponaroshku

    …but only charr arrived, because asura and sylvari not yet available.

    spid3r1833@gmail.com

  • Chris Morrison

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…and subsequently raised it.Email: DarkRayn13@yahoo.com

  • Nekalewow

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…the charr was instantly kicked out NO ANIMALS IN THIS BAR

  • http://twitter.com/PeetersYannick Yannick Peeters

    and the bar closes just at that moment.

  • whoo hoo

    … ransack the whole place, steal all the beer, and go around in a drunken rage destroying whatever looks threatening. 

  • Chris

    “donk! donk! donk!”.  “Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!”.

  • yhyy

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar because Hitler.

  • Killzmane

    An asura, sylvari, and charr walk into a bar, but there, in the corner of the room sits a human. So, the asura, sylvari, and charr leave, to find another, less infested bar.

  • http://twitter.com/DaneThePain106 Dane Stevenson

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The charr says: “I’ll have something with a bang!” The asura says: “I’ll have something intelligent.” The sylvari says: “What’s a bar?”

    • João Carlos

      Ok, this one deserves a key because it have the best roleplay…

  • SoSexi

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and barman said approved

  • http://twitter.com/HaynerJetik Hayner Jetik

    … and the asura and sylvari say to the charr: “Pay us a drink! You’re playable!”

  • Michael Dobrowney

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…  Charr looked over at asura and said “do you have problems with sh#t sticking to your fur”. The Asura said “No why”. So the Charr wiped his ass with the asura 

  • http://twitter.com/Urubiquitous Mawgleah

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…the Irish barkeep eyed them over and spoke to the charr and asura, “I’d as sura you take a charr at the bar across the street.  The sylvari can stay.”

  • Pdimens

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…  because they used all their skills and needed a cooldown.

  • Neky

    and the bartender said “release date must be near!”

  • Jjlamb 1981

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar, the Human Ducks…

  • Krowfoot

    And the bartender slaps his knee

  • http://twitter.com/realdidi316 didi316

    … but after a while they recognized it was vegetarian restaurant – NOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • http://www.facebook.com/gergely.daniel Dániel Gergely

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…and they ordered a pizza with beer.

  • Slu33ert

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and the bartender asks: “what is this to you? a game?” Ba dum tssh!

  • Pascal

     and ask for the bartender for the gw2 release date.

  • http://twitter.com/Poogist Magnus Henriksen

    It snapped.

  • Reapee

    And were instantly recognized by everyone as the ain actors from the famous show Two and a half monsters.

  • Darkness Roars

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    The barmaid comes over to the Charr and says “We don’t serve your kind.” He roars and leaves. She walks to the Asura and pats him on the head “We don’t serve your kind.” He frowns and leaves. The Sylvari greets the barmaid, “And do you serve my kind?” The barmaid smiles and almost can’t contain her excitement, “Yes, yes we do. And our shipment hasn’t come in. Your kind we do serve,” she exclaims as she points to the big all you can eat salad bar, “You should be enough to fill the bar for a week.”

  • Aliciabeme

    …well actually only the Sylvari and Charr walked into the bar, the Asura walked under it. 

  • Anonymoose

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… Wait, isn’t this beta still? 

  • Nevils3

    asura ordering 99 whiskeys. sylvari and a charr asked why 99 and not 100 and asura responsible eeee I’m not an alcoholic

  • Stephen

    Me wanna have it so bad !!! 

  • Kinky

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the bartender said: What’s the difference between kinky and pervert?Kinky is when you use a feather to tickle your girl friend ass. Pervert is when you use the whole chicken

  • Timbs

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… suddenly a lvl 50 char arrived and kill them all. Funny

  • http://www.facebook.com/Frostb1te Phillipe Fix Badanjak

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, and the waiter asks the charr: ” Why the long face?”

  • Omer

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and get kicked out because no pet allowed

  • Tarelight

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar to down a BEER – Big Evil Evil Rat

    • Tarelight

       tarelight@hotmail.com

  • Todd

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…

    the bartender casts magic missile at the darkness

  • Kingchan720

     i really want to try~~~~~plx give me a KEY!!!

  • raj

    and the bartender kicks the Charr out, yelling “WE DONT ALLOW COWS IN HERE”

    • Dekdk11

      The Charr race are actually large cats, not related to cows in any way.

      • Derp

        He’s possibly referring to Total Biscuit, he always calls them cows ^^

  • Jommi

    …which is actually all inside the depressed head of a Guild Wars fanatic who can’t come up with a Guild Wars 2 joke

  • Demon0023

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. But just for a second. They had to run away when charr ate the bartender…

  • John Caston Mcdonald

    Bartender says what would you like… charr says “ill have a charr-wiser”. Sylvari would like some water… and the asura is paying. The asura replies…”sorry, im a little short”

  • Even Ostby

    the asura had hacked the terminals and gotten a beta key, the charr wanted it so he beated up the asura while the sylvari stole the key and ran away

    • August Aalde

      nice, think you just got yourself a key

  • http://www.facebook.com/JesusChrist4 David Fien

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The bartender says “What is this, some kind of joke?”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1673041169 Pip Thecurlyhaireddude Turner

    and the bartender says oi guys get your ass back to gw2

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000231773413 André Calheiros

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… the charr asks for a beer, getting drunk with it, the asura asks for a bear, analyzing it’s full constitution before drinking, the sylvari keeps wondering why are they all drinking and tries to learn their motives, once the sylvari leans she simply blushes *if you know what i mean*

  • Gajohnston10

    And ask “Ok we need a healer for our party” then everyone laughs at them!

  • Nyogtha

    but only the charr gets out because he killed the other 2

  • Aleksobczak

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    … and there was a human.

  • Lukas

     … during first BWE, suddenly the charr realises hes allone!

  • Task

    …Since the Norn had allready passed out and the human had trouble with centraus.

  • Arden

    sdf

  • Brobama

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The asura turns to the charr and says, “Well, at least we’re not playing Star Wars: The Old Republic.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/amateurprofessional David M. DeMar

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… the bartender takes one look at them and says, “What is this, some kind of a joke?”

  • hunassa

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… disconnect

  • Leodor

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and get immediatley down-leveled so they won’t be able to one shot all the aged dwarven ale.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000249067595 Raymond Aardalsbakke

    An asura, sulvari and a charr walk into a bar, and the bartender says; “hey charr, why the long face?, hey sulvari what’s with the leaves?, hey! … Wait a minute, weren’t there 3 of you?

  • armando

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…and dies :PPPpPPppppppp

  • Feral777

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…but the bartender said “get out of here right now”

  • Lukfruit

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the barman says:”sorry, no animals, no kids and no snack”.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/J6K7RJTSOCG2P3RZZ4QHGJRYZQ Silverado

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    Darn rubberbanding!

  • http://www.facebook.com/gergo.makos Gergő Mákos

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…to bring me a beta key.

  • Nyogtha

    but only the charr leaves the bar because he killed the other 2(wanted to say

  • Rena Vanity

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…and the bartender looked at the charr and said, “i’m sorry we don’t allow pets in the building.”OR!!An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… ”UGH, Who left this weapon here!?!?”

  • Contro1990

    BULLSH*T! There aren’t bars on Tyria!

  • http://twitter.com/lockforce Prashant Narain

    and the referee goes “guys, you’re in the wrong game”

  • Llhlwhwl

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar for some beer. Someone pointed at the Sylvari and exclaimed : “A Plant Drinking Beer”Llhlwhwl@hotmail.com

  • http://twitter.com/SamBarnfather Samuel Barnfather

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the asura was fine, the charr had to duck and the sylvari was the bar.

  • Haunterz

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…

    They said ow!

  • Akenatoth

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    unfortunately, the bar server was full, so the charr ended up drinking alone in the overflow bar.

  • Aleksobczak

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    … and there was a human.
    Another post but i forgot to post my mail: aleksobczak@yahoo.com

  • Vitorvdp68

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, but because the asura is so short, the barman refuses to serve him any alcohol, believing he is a minor. The asura then becomes extremely enraged with this incident, goes home and starts plotting his first move to take over the world in order to make his own laws on alcohol. There is no punchline in this.

  • Nate

    And the bartender says to the Asura, “Hey, no pets!”

  • Lolindir

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and when go inside, one manager comunity of blizzard, say “Hey guy’s looking for job? we need people and money”…… jjajajajajajaj

  • Diogo

    …And the bartender said to the Asura: “No child allowed!”

  • Richard

    and a dynamic event appears!

  • TravisMoore

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the bartender asks:

    Is this a joke or something?

  • TestyRabbit

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and said, “Crap, wrong building,” then left.

  • Huskydemon

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…Bartender says “Is this some kind of joke?”.

  • Devin

    And they sit down to grab a drink. A server comes up and gets their orders and then walks away. Another server mistakenly comes up and tries to get their orders again. The first server comes back and fights the second server in a deathmatch. Because in Guild Wars 2, it’s all about the server versus server combat.

  • Dominac Galas

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and they see a female Norn and male Human sitting together.  The three look at each other and then say It must be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lefteris-Lalos/1231445943 Lefteris Lalos

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…and the bartender says “Yo Guild Wars 2 is in the house, champagne for everyone!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000173081400 Matic Kurnik

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…and they ordered icecream and beer, then something bad happens.

  • ozzmosis69

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    The bartender turn to the asura and sylvari and ask “Did you not read the sign?”
    The asura and sylvari look at each other and then back to the bartender “What sign?”
    The bartender looks at the charr and then back to the other two and replys “The one that reads “NO PETS ALLOWED!”"

  • WindyF

    An asura, sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar, and the barkeep says, “You must have the wrong address; ComicCon is down the street.”

  • Illu Dit

    …and they sudden realise that this not a bar.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001788302931 Dawid Pucyło

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and also they have the weed in the jar. 

  • Zeiss

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… 
    and left outside their car under the star :P

  • Metelech

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…

  • Sparkscs

    ..and the bartender was the Human, trying to recover their glorious past.

  • osom

    …and the bartender says: GTFO! GW2 beta weekend is comming!

    tomasz.burchard@gmail.com

  • Leonard Chen

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…the bartendar says:” Three-Wise-Men on the house!”(Three-Wise-Men is a liquor combination)

  • Gruvnhi

    And the Charr came out ten minutes later with a smile on his face and blood on his sword.

  • Omerr

    “What will it be?” the bartender asks; Charr: “a beer”, Norn: “a beer” , Asura: “a beer”; bartender to Asura: “I will have to see your ID card first” .. ;)

  • MORT4life

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and the charr says “Hey, did you hear the joke about us?” ;)

  • Plobmaster

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and get disconnected from the server

  • juress

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…  and the bartender says – what can I get for the two of you?

  • Guest123

    … and the charr order 3 drinks. But the barkeeper says “3 drinks for 2 people?”. Then the Asura answers “Hey man, we are three”.

  • I LIKE SWORDS

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, but then guildmag.com goes down before I can finish typing up my damn joke!

  • http://www.facebook.com/mvorenkamp Mark Vorenkamp

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… one hits his head, another his knees, and the char stubs his toe. The human stepped over it. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Hitz/668941961 David Hitz

    To kick Diablo III’s arse!

  • Botiok

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. an asura asked the bartender why nemo was smarter than moby dick..the three were stunned and asked why..asura laughed with a giggle reply, *because moby is a dick.how can a dick be smarter than nemo?*

    botiok@yahoo.com

  • Share- the- maple- syrup

    An asura, a slyvari, a charr, and a norn walk into a bar… Nothing remained of the building after five minutes.

  • Harindu

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the next day the woke not remembering who they are and the asuran is missing then the journey of finding asuran begins.

  • Raav

    An asura, sylvari and norse walk into a bar . . . 2 weeks ha later there all in cambodia selling sunglasses to tourists

  • Nevzkii

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… The Charr attempts to rob the place the Asura tries to re-vamp the tech and the Sylvari stands in the middle like… What da fuq is a bar? 

  • SylvariFan

    A asura, sylvari and charr walk into a bar, and the sylvari starts randomly pooring magigrow on the asuras head. the charr looks puzzled and the asura shouts in anger ”what are you doing?” the sylvari replies “All things have a right to grow. The blossom is brother to the weed.”….heheh get it? its because asura are so short :D

    thankyou

  • Detective Kimble

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…because one of them needs some “watering”.

  • gimbeer

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar: charr takes milk, sylvari takes water and asura is too intelligent to drink.

    thegimber@gmail.com

  • Coryl98

    An arura, sylvari & a charr walks into a bar and the bartender says “We don’t serve your kind here.” and the sylvari says – “Why not? I’m a fungi.”

  • Åsmund

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… but the door was to small, so only the sylvari got in. Do you know why? Because the Charr was to big and the Asura was sittion on a golem.

  • Avatarblade

    An asura, sylvari and charr walk into a bar…and get alcohol poisoning.

  • Pingback: BWE #2 Klju

  • http://www.facebook.com/kevin.dalton.758 Kevin Dalton

    The charr smashes everything in the bar since they are out of meat.

  • Frosties

     then a huge dragon landed outside of the bar “NEW EVENT NEARBY!” while humans were killing wurms and spiders

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002605251519 Marsha Boles Farley

    An asura, sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar.. the bartender says ” It must be beta weekend again for arena net”. 

  • http://twitter.com/HaynerJetik Hayner Jetik

    … and as they are asking for a drink, a new event nearby just started. Doh!

  • http://twitter.com/Mega_Jamie Jamie Davison

     An asuran, sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar…
    And get placed in seperate overflow districts despite being teamed :(

  • http://www.facebook.com/michal.cwikla1 Michał Ćwikła

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… Barman says: “Fuck off”.

  • Gemini

    The human bartender asks each one what they want to drink in turn.
    The asura replies “Oh no no I am not thirsty I was just thinking how my newest invention would serve you well here! It is called a spirit dispenser, or maybe a drink mix machine? which name do you think would sell the most? The design is genius it just comes down to marketing…
    The human ignored him and asked the Sylvari next what she wanted to drink.
    She replied “Drink.. what? Oh I was admiring the scaffolding in here, what tree was that made out of? I don’t recognize it…”
    The human getting frustrated finally came around to the big Charr who had been glaring at him the entire time. “Well what do ya want?”
    The Charr stands up and rips out the humans throat. “I was just thinking how I would really love a bottle of your best blood, human. And next time when an Asura, Sylvari and Charr come into your bar, ask the Charr first.”

  • moltig

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, The bartender says, “Oh boy, a rat, a moving shrub, and a talking beast,” to which the Asura replies “Impossible my friend- your mother informed me she already had plans this evening.”

  • Darkadrenal1ne

    To see a Norn, and a Human Boasting about how they could slay the other races

  • Daniel

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… OMG, humans are dranks!

  • Laurenashley033

    And ordered a bottle of grog

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001481116142 Nick Ryan Rasnake

    An asura, sylvari, and norn are fighting a charr. The asura says, “Why the long face?” The charr replies, “Why the short pace?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001251780551 Max Karatefylla Boström

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walked into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but gief beta key NAOW! 

  • Orfeas

    and the barman ask them what they want to drink. The charr says a double whiskey on the rocks, the asura says a cup of cold milk, and the Sylvari says a cup of your best fertilizer! ;)

  • wolf

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the asura askes whats the name of the bar the sylvari said it was the battle staff and the charr said he didn’t like the bar, so he opened the door got on the floor everybody walk the dinosaur.

  • S E M Y

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and nothing happend…

  • Anne Hensen

    A Asura, Silvari and Charr walk into a bar. They all order a mug of beer. The the bartender asks the Silvari “Sir, why are you taking off your boots?” The Silvari responds “So I can drink it with my roots.”Then the bartender asks the Charr “Ma’am, why are you taking off your gloves?” The charr responds “So the dirt from walking won’t get in my drink… Fool”Then the barkeeper spots the now naked arura. “WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE DIVINES ARE YOU DOING!!??” HE shouts at him. The Asura responds. “What, I thought you gave me a swimmingpoolfilled with ale”
    Thanks for reading through my lame rambling ^^

    • Anne Hensen

      Twitter is @cheesecakeAnne :)

  • Spacetired

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The Asura asks for a wrench, the sylvari asked for a bucker of water and some plant food, while the charr in all his armor asks for a bowl of milk.

  • Davidianfoster

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar (ouch!)…and regret the lack of healer classes in Guild Wars 2

  • Cleonardo

    An asura, sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar, and they all look up and ask “Is this some kind of joke?”

  • adamsaidyum

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and the Charr and Sylvari hit their heads while the Asura walked right under it.

  • Mavius

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…

    The
    bartender then says: “minors are not allowed, even in company with an adult!

  • http://www.facebook.com/RisingVeXx Vincent Rosciano

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… They ask the Norm bartender: When are you gonna serve our drinks?. The norm replied: “When they are ready” 

  • bassFACE

    a: knock knock.
    b: who’s there?
    a: interrupting cow
    b: int-
    a: MOOOO

  • Godlikemk

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…. NOT!
    godlikemk@gmail.com

  • Markus_Parkus

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Human were each left 5,000 ecto by a rich Norn on condition that after his death they would each put 100 ecto into his coffin in case he needed it in the afterlife. 
    The Asura and the Sylvari duly put in their hundred ecto. The Human took out the 200 ecto and put in a IOU for 300 ecto.  :)

  • Kal

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…and walk away with two bruised shins and a headache.

  • Alestron

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…the charr gets so drunk he mistakenly uses the Asura as a barstool and the sylvari’s garments for wiping his mouth after having a Tyria ‘especial grilled steak. My email is Alestron@gmail.com

  • Jus Smolcic01

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and order some eggnog (anti joke moa)

  • Jankira

    An asura, sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar to try and fill the void in their hearts that was left there after the last Guild Wars 2 beta weekend.

  • Theo

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…and then…they died!

  • Michael

    An asura, sylvari and charr walk into a bar… Actually the asura walked under it.

  • Snudde

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…but there’s nobody there. Everyone has gone home to figure out a good joke for a beta key contest.

  • Leoran

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    the asura orders milk, then the sylvari order a tomato juice, but the charr didn’t order anything… he says, starring at the two others: “i won’t drink, i just planned to eat some meat”

  • Allionus

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar ….
    but
    it was actually a  norn mesmer’s illusion  .  and now they shall remain in it till  he pleases  it to be so .      the end maybe.

  • Cluttershy

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and sit beside two World of Warcraft players. They pick up their mugs of ale, and the WoW players yell “WHAT KIND OF SORCERY IS THIS?!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/ben.maslin Ben Maslin

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar, the Charr says two pints of larger and a can of vimto for me. The barman says mate you are having a Giraff, the Charr says well if its on the house, but i find the hoofs get stuck in my teeth!
    bamaslin@hotmail.co.uk

  • KrazyKrug

    they nuked the crowd and echo-nuked the survivors.

  • http://twitter.com/Bigazsben Ben Nach

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the Asura gets kicked out for looking like a minor.

  • Boarpi

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…… 5 hours later come out and sing: “I got a hangoooveeeer…óó…óóó..ó…!”

  • http://twitter.com/Leonic19 Leonic

    An Asura, Sylvari and a charr walk into a bar , and The Bartender says ” hey since when does Yoda , a Flower and the guy from beauty and the beast match together ? ” and they said: ” Since Tyria was created”

  • Ondra Mrázek

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    …Han Solo still shot first.

  • Ludwig Wahlberg

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walks into a bar and gets slaughtered by the superior humans that rules the land of Tyria.

  • Ondrej J

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar……they demand drinks, but not enough Karma.

  • Jared

    They walk into a bar, have a few drinks and then proceed to catch up on old times.  Afterwards, they go home to their respective wives, make passionate love, and fall asleep.

  • TerroristHumper

    walk into the GW2 HQ and complain that their starting places haven’t been released yet! Hopefully the Asura will show ‘little’ mercy as I want to be an Asura already! 

  • Garnet99

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the charr yells:-” WHO IS JOHNNY HERE? “Some guy says bravely:-” I am! “They beat the shit out of him and they leave the bar. The guy stand up and says:-” Haha i fooled them, im not Johnny. “

  • Andrew_e99

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… to make jokes about humans and the strategy to kill them or to just take a chill pill.

  • Jusroche1

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… to celebrate guildmag’s 2nd birthday, but then realize “who or what in Tyria is a guildmag”??

  • Filipbook

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

  • Joshua

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar. They go up to the owner and say, “Man, have we got a great act to put on nightly that can increase your business by 300%!”
    So the bar owner says, “I’m interested, let’s see a sample of your act.”
    So the Charr pulls out his sword and starts reaming the Asura in the ass. The Asura is double fisting the Sylvari, while she is chewing on her pet Devourer’s balls. The Sylvari shits all over the floor from the double fisting, and the Charr rolls around in it while deep-throating the Asura. The Asura starts peeing all over the Charr and the Sylvari, and they’re all slipping and sliding in the piss/shit mixture. They then kill the devourer, take turns having sex with it and fill it with their seed, baste it with the piss/shit mixture, and then grill it up and eat it. They then proceed to vomit all over each other while punching each other in the genitals. After ten minutes of this, they all collapse to the floor, exhausted.
    “Wow, that’s quite the act!” the bar owner exclaims, “What do you call it?”
    The Asura says, “The Aristocrats!”

  • Francisco Coutinho

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar chased by undead minions. *Cue Benny Hill Chase music*

    @RaccoonFran

  • Anne Hensen

    My Twitter is @cheesecakeAnne ^^

  • Lolica11

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… i dont need to complete this sentence…it is a joke already cause that would never happen !! :)))

    • Barouzi

       An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… for request an autograph to clint eastwood

  • ToPi

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walked into a bar … to drink alot and then the bartender gave them some beta key.

  • Trebour

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
     it was a stupid place to leave it

  • AsTaRiOn

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… The Sylvari orders mineral water, the Charr orders a beer… and the Asura a stool

  • http://twitter.com/Koenzz Kohen Michael Knight

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar.

    One of them says: “We really need to stay out of here until the game is released and we get ourselves some decent stereotypes.”

  • Panzer

    And they never came out… Why? Because the bar minigame is addicting.

  • Jag

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…  ouch!!! sombody turn the lights on

  • http://www.facebook.com/gcheca666 Guillermo Checa

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… in LA
    The bartender says, “where do you leave the human?”
    they said: “he is waitin´ us in Kamadam…”
    bartender response: “why?”
    And they said “he behaves unbearable since he was 4 games for himself!”

  • http://twitter.com/IronSea123 Shawn McIlwaine

    … and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t allow cats in here.” Both the asura and charr begin to walk out as he adds, “And take your fern with you!”

    *Badumksh-badumksh-badumkshptshtshkshhh*

  • Ronel Tan

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…And then a chicken died.

  • DrHufflepuff

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…Only the Charr walks out.

  • Tim Fabiniak

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and ask for some wine. Bartender tells, “Yeah, just ask those gamers at the end for their feelings on overflow servers.”

  • Deon

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, after they got drunk,  the Sylvari realized that the Asura is an rabbit in an blue clown costume. haha :D

  • Derektsui1988

    Wanna have it!!! 

  • http://www.coldkarma.com/ GreenStreet

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… Because they wanted to get drunk.. not be able to play the game! 

  • Kennii

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…You would have thought at least one of them would have seen it!

  • Umpaidh

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and order drinks, they ask themselves why there is no norn in this joke when a cry comes from the shadows in the corner, “it’s a bar, im already here!”trotski77@hotmail.co.uk

  • Simon

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. When they order a glass of every wine the bar has to offer, the bartender replies: “Charrming, but i asura you the wine’sylvari the more you drink!”

  • Craiglouttit

    With there black moa, they have a few drinks and go to leave. Barman says hey you can’t leave that lying there. To which the charr responds its a black moa not a lion……. Boom boom

  • Cpctc133

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…The asura was the only one that missed it.

  • Klemen Iskra

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and then walk out of the bar

  • http://www.facebook.com/yvens.almeida.1 Yvens Almeida

    ♫♫ An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    they want to take a drink, the asura’s child, sylvari a plant, and dogs can not enter! = P ♫♫

  • http://twitter.com/bork76 Aaron Bork

    The sylvari says, “Hmm Deja Vu.”

  • Iwan Emmetowitsch

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… to kill their Need for Mead!

  • Clark Kent

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar with a Quaggan on their shoulders. The bartender ask: “Hey, where’d you get that?”. The Quaggan says: “Kryta! They’ve got them all over the place!”.

  • Lewismatlock

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… bartender said “no kids, trees, and pets are allowed.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1467504355 Arjen Wienbelt

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, back out, put a leash on the charr, leave him outside with a bowl of water and walk back in. There is a sign above the entrance saying: “pets are not allowed”.

  • dshea90

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The Tyrian Grand Limbo Championship ends in a tie.

  • Safire312

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… wtf, they cant !? there isnt beta week ! :D
    safire312@gmail.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/ Anonymous

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… False, charr does not simply walk into bar… he crawls

  • Nikmind

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and then the human woke up shaking his head, “What a nightmare!” 

  • Kruns

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and ordered beer. charr was really drunk so he slapped beer glass with his Penis and started bar fight, with his broken penis.

  • Molgoo

    what, you were expecting something funny to happen? Why can’t there be a multicultural celebration without some sort of social implication?!

    Oh and the Asura get’s called a midget.

  • eQz

    …and killed ten rats.

  • Florisaerts

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…

    The asura buys a beer but the charr steals it so the asura jumps on the charr and attack him like a freak  the sylvari comes between them and says guys guys calm down and the sylvari asks what happend asura.The asura tells the whole story to him and then the sylvari says what?!?!?!  And they both jump’d on the charr like a boss and killed him

    That’s it greets floris ;d

  • Tititesticlez656

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the bartender asks, “where the hell is the priest?”
    tititesticlez656@yahoo.com

  • Ori licht

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. Suddently Jormag appears again and drives them all south taking the bar to himself……

  • Emil_emppe

    An asura, sylvari and charr walk into a bar and they started to drink beer

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1327967619 Paul Montoya

    An asura, sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar where the asura buys a round for everyone. A few minutes later, everyone is knocked out on the floor and the asura says, “Ignorant clods, don’t you know you should never accept drinks from strangers? I mean anyone can drop nuero-chemical sleep agents in a beverage, but that is probably too big of a word for you.” 

  • http://twitter.com/SL_9927 Stephan

    A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender is curious and askes him “every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?” The man replies, “I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matteo-Martina/1520788200 Matteo Martina

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar…
    Each of them
    orders a beer. Three flys fly into the tavern and one fly lands in each creature’s drink.
    The Sylvari pulls the fly out of his beer, says “Well, it’s alright” and drinks the beer down.
    The Asura shows his beer with the fly still inside to the barman and asks for another beer.
    The Charr grabs the fly out of the beer, takes it by it’s wings, while yelling
    “Cough it up, you wee theivin’ bastard!”

    teo.martina@gmail.com

  • Warbob1991

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    The charr yelled “Everyone on the ground!This is a robbery.If anyone gets up I’ll blast him with my charzooka!”
    “Then I’ll analyze your anatomy” the sylvari added.
    “Finally you’ll get your butt kicked by the evil looking asura!” the little-over-a-meter asura finished.

  • TheUnkn375

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… they Walked on wet water and hit there heads on the table.the bartender asks:No wet charr’s allowed

    • TheUnkn375

      Their* sorry for spelling XD

  • DraconicDon

    all of them have a mild concussion

  • http://www.facebook.com/BramBaysinger Bram Baysinger

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… *dynamic event appears* “Who can take the most shots and still kill the centaurs attacking the village?” And they all get to take part even though they arent in a party.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Jacob/100000188033087 Chris Jacob

    The bartender says:”What is this, a joke?”

  • Ashal Lightstorm

    An asura, a sylvari and a charr walks into a bar.. Guess why??
    They getting drunk because they still do not have any beta key nor release date for gw2!!!

  • Chzbrgrz

    … and they drank a f—ing LOT of absinthe.

  • Pedro

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the barkeeper asks: “what will it be?” Answer: a Green Goblin cocktail for the Asura,a Mojito for the Sylvari and a Red Bull for the Charr…(explanation for those who missed the joke: the Goblin= making fun of asuras size, Mojito=drink with mint leafs (sylvari costumes and makeup) and Red Bull for the charr (charrs horns)… louis_du_ponte_du_lac@hotmail.com

  • Ragmon

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… the Asura eats the Charr shoots and the Sylvari leafs… and the Pandaran in the corner face-palms.

  • Almasaur

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar…

    Only the Asura used the door.

  • MKaeda

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar , they had a few drinks and walked out.An asiaskd sykvaori and a chasr walksda intaos a bars

  • http://twitter.com/KurouOo Julia

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and norn bartender says, “So.. Whats your gender?”

  • Dusan

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…got drunk and had a threesome.
     

  • Can’thugeverycat

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, where they proceed to pick up beers and brawl loudly infront of some bloodelves while stressing their superiour mechanics

  • james

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… to celebrate guildmag’s 2nd year anniversary!!! 

  • http://twitter.com/odaRaito raito oda

    An asuram slvary and charr walk into a bar… “need healer!!”

  • Mikke Ilsfort

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walked into a bar, than the sudently an Norn and a Human, comes over and says “Hey there!” your nor allowed here! havent you seen the sign “No cats, no plants and no two-legged dogs allowed here!!”

    • Mikkel Ilsfort

      Mikkel Ilsfort…. sorry

  • Mark

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… nek minute they wasted.

  • Red Jay

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… the zone is unavailable in beta.

  • Berodemoyer

    A Norn, an Asuran and a Sylvari walk into a bar.
    The barman says to the Norn, ‘Whadda ye want?’
    The Norn says, ‘A whole keg of yer strongest plonk!’
    He serves the Norn, then says to the Asuran, ‘so whadda ye want?’
    The Asuran says, ‘Ill have a glass of water. I’m taking care of my brain, unlike my dumbass companion here!’
    The barman, annoyed, says to the Sylvari, ‘I suppose you’ll be wantin a glass o water too eh?’
    The Sylvari says, ‘No sir, I’ll just have a glass of ice’.
    The barman, confused, gives him a glass of ice, and asks him again if he wants anything in it.
    The Sylvari says he’s sure, while the Norn and Asuran snicker.
    The Sylvari takes the glass, squats in the corner, and fills the glass up with his own water.

  • Creepx89

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar .. and the keg brawl starts !

  • http://twitter.com/ceekes cedric ruysseveldt

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar. After a couple of beers they’re getting drunk. When suddenly the Charr growls in the bar : ” All you guys on the leftside of me in the bar are idiots “. Then he asks ” Anyone got a problem with that ? “.

    No one dares reply him.
    After another beer he roars : ” You guys on the right side in the bar are all scum ! ”
    He looks around and says ” Anyone got a problem with that ? ”
    When suddenly the Asura gets up from his stool.  The Charr replies : ” You got a problem buddy ? ”
    The Asura answers: ” Oh no, I’m just on the wrong side of the bar “ 

  • http://twitter.com/Chrishorton360 Chris Horton

    An asura, sylvari and a charr get out of their sports car and  walk into a bar in a bazaar with a jar full of stars while the charr smokes a cigar and the asura plays the guitar. PHEW.

  • AlgeruS

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar,
    the asura gets thrown out for looking underage, the charr gets high on catnip and has to be carried outside by an asura mech and the sylvari gets mistaken for salad, this is where her story ends.

    [oh god I'm terrible with jokes please don't hate me]
    [I want a beta key though :3c]

  • FallacySRK

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.  The sylvari asks “Why’s it so dark in here?” The bartender replies “Because we don’t serve water.” fallacysrk@gmail.com

  • Deshin

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the sylvari asks for two beers for him and the asura and a human worker as a snack for the charr. The barman tells him he’s sorry but he’s only got asuran workers in today. The sylvari replies “Don’t bother then, he’s a bugger on shorts”

  • Xolhardal

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… riddled with arrows.  The bartender says, “I see they haven’t fixed the OP’d arrow carts yet.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Charry-Wang/712977624 Charry Wang

    An asura and a sylvari are walking though the country side, then the asura say:”Are you sylvaris group up as like a tree?”…”no…as you guys never get toller! And geting greater then used as lumbers is not a good idea!…=_=”

  • http://www.facebook.com/rjtheunissen Ryuji Johan Theunissen

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…ERROR 37

  • Ricko

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The charr looks at the bartender and suddently he gets angry. Then the night has come and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light he’ll see. But he wont be afraid as he smacks the bartender in the face. He walks out and hit a stone and falls and BAM he woke up from his dream. THE END

  • Irondeagle

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, to the Sylvari he says “Make like a tree and leaf.” to which the sylvari replies “naturally..” and leaves. He then says to the char, “make like a dog and flea” to which the char grunted and left- then to the asura he said “you can stay.” when the Charr and sylvari asked why he could stay and they could not the bartender replied “the sign says we have the right to refuse service, to any ONE, but the asura brought his golem.”

  • Duuduu

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar ,then charr orders a 
    Grenth’s Grog .After he drinks it he leaves the bar without paying . Next day charr with his mates go again in the bar , charr oders again a grenths grog , but the bartenders says him that he needs to pay the 1st one in order to get other . Charr looked at him and he said  that he knew karate . The bartender said :i know karate too , then charr replied to him : ”Then get a free drink too” :P

  • http://www.facebook.com/munly Munly Leong

    All of a sudden, the group gets separated and each one of them winds up in a different instance of the bar alone in different respective overflow servers ;)

  • TomCools

    After a couple of drinks, the Charr looks around and asks “Where is my Asura friend?” None reacted. “WHERE IS THE ASURA???” he yelled while drawing his sword. Finally the sylvari replies: “He is sitting right next to you, you furry idiot!”
    The charr looks next to him and calmly says to the Asura: “Did you see and hear that?Asura: “What are you talking about???”
    Charr: “This is some amazing ale, i can hear speaking trees! What’s next? Panda’s trying to kill the dragons with kung-fu?”  

    tomymaxy@hotmail.com

  • Skuzzy

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…  after waking up they realized a human’s bar should not be underestimated.

  • Alexander

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the human bartender says: “Where’s Bjorn today? He couldn’t stand my Ale recipe, eh?”

  • matthew

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar charr says he is a wussy so he orders a water the sylvari slips some viagra in the drink while the charr isent watching  so the asura and sylvari lol while the charr is thinking why is everyone looking at me. My stupid joke hope you enjoyed it ;P

  • Mounir

    An asura, sylavari and a charr walk into a bar….

    Asura is a money junkSylavari is a alcholistCharr is a homosexualAll 3 die when they walked into the bar, they all went to hell.in hell they speak to the devil, the devil has a deal for a 3 of them to go back to earth.Asura cant have any money anymore or he will go to hellSylavari cant drink anymore or he will go to hellAnd Charr cant have intercourse with men or he will go to hell
    Once back on earth they walked back into the bar, and Sylavari thought i want a beer but no. then he sees the best beer in the world and drinks it. POOF!!!! and gone is Sylavari.Asura sits on a chair and sees a dollar, no my life isnt a dollar worth it. then he sees 50 dollar, no no my life isnt 50 dollar worth it. then he sees a briefcase with a million dollar on the floor, He bends over and POOF!!!!!! CHARR is gone:Dps. sorry for my bad english

  • Kwstas

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.Charr eats the bartender, asura ponders about the concept of drinking alcohol in order to solve your problems, and sylvari orders a glass of water and photosynthesize.

  • Pseudo

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…And they saw that a Norn attacks another one misses and hits the bartender. Then a dynamic event occurs.

  • http://twitter.com/Skar_Hand Joshua Woodard

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    and the bartender looks at them and says, what is this, a joke?

  • shawn

    An Asura, Sylvari and Charr walk into a bar… Only the Charr made it back out

  • Baelzar

    ….the bartender says, “Asura-ware, we don’t Sylvari much to your kind.”

    “Charr-ly you’ll make an exception?” they pleaded.

    “Norn of that now – get out.”

  • http://twitter.com/MatejBozilovic Matej Bozilovic

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, and the bartender say: ”why such a long faces”

  • duelist

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walked into a bar…with free internet to play the game of thier people

  • http://twitter.com/Ritard0 Ricardo Urdaneta

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    Bartender says: “So. Why the ugly faces?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Williams/100000207642592 David Williams

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… Well the asura didn’t walk into the bar he was short he walked right under it… Oh you didn’t mean that kind of bar… I can be so literal sometimes haha David-L-Williams@live.com

  • Jakub-zizka

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the bartender says: “Oh c’mon, you three again?”

  • ching

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, The bartender looks up and says, “Is this some kind of joke?”

    lauricel@me.com

  • kex

    An asura, sylvari and a norn walk into a tavern. The asura suggests playing a game to see who can drink the most. They accept and everyone bets 800 gold. The norn wants to go first so he can scare the two minnows with his drinking prowess, and so he drinks two  large barrels of ale. Sylvari is definitely intimidated, but he’ll give it a try. He drinks a mug, and collapses down because his leaves got corrupted with alcohol. 

    The norn is laughing, so the asura asks for three barrels. The whole tavern stops and casts a doubting glance at the tiny elementalist. He takes it with a pinch of salt, and drinks everything he asked. The norn walks away in shame. He got beat by an asura. He stops and asks the tiny creature ‘How did you do that?’. The asura says ‘I paid the tavern keep 200 gold to fill three barrels of water when I ask him to!’

  • http://twitter.com/odaRaito raito oda

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… “need healer!!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001477322952 Damian Sublimatio Gajdziński

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.  The asura proposed to do a challenge – first of them who’ll get a free beer from bartender, win. Then the charr bought a beer and he had started to drink it both with the sylvari, when the bartender unexpectedly asked the charr: ‘Why are you letting her to drink it? It’s your beer!” Charr answered “I just want to make her easier.” And the bartender said “Okay, have one more on the house!”

  • Bookah

    …and swung a sword.
    Colin reference for those who will think I’m a retard :).

  • Mangarobinson

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. They were told there kind wasent welcome…Now there’s a smoldering pile of rubble where the bar used to be

  • John.D.

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…Asura was wearing a hat..The barman turns to Asura and says: where did you get this ?Sylvari turns to the barrman and says:Rata Sum, they are all over the place!  

  • http://twitter.com/ap3xultima Orrin O’Neill

    An Asura, Sylvari and Charr walk into a bar. The Charr looks back at the Sylvari and asks “can you smell cabbage?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/sylo24 Ulli Tesche

     An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walked into a bar. The Asura ordered a beer. The bartender.
     figured that an Asura probably isn’t very economically aware, and 
     charged him $50. The Sylvari ordered a beer as well, and was charged 
     $60. Finally, the Charr ordered a beer as well and the bartender’s curiosity got the better of him. He casually remarked, “You know, we don’t get too many customers of your race in here.” 
     The Charr replied, “At these prices, no wonder.” 

  • http://aa-guild.shivtr.com/ Matt H

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…all three of them sit down and order drinks. The asura orders a nice, refreshing glass of Alchemicola, the sylvari orders a tall glass of V8 Splash with a cowpat sidecar, and then the charr speaks up loudly, “I’ll have Meatmalt liquor………on the rocks.” The bartender then furnishes their drinks, but the asura and sylvari look puzzled. They both turn to the charr and ask, “What’s with the long pause?” The charr responds while looking at his hands, “Oh these?” “I’ve had them all my life.”

    http://instantrimshot.com/

    mhogan1830@gmail:disqus .com

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=820005225 Richard Mad’Samurai Toeran

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The sylvari asks “What do you lot want drinks are on me!” The charr says “Silly bush woman! You have no drinks on you!” The Asura then leaves the bar opting to not be spotted with these idiots.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pedro.proenca1 Pedro Proença

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the bartender asks “HEY AZURA?” “what?” *BITCH SLAP*

  • http://www.facebook.com/munly Munly Leong

    lol damn. It seems like I’m not the only one to come up with the overflow joke. Oh well.. second entry just in case :) 

    The Charr turns around to the other two and says.. “so where the fuck is Frank?”

  • Tonizzle10

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…  and noticed Tyrael is serving hot chocolate with Diablo 3 game cds as coasters.  

  • traldera

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…  Several screams and explosions later the charr emerges in a cloud of smoke and says “Only real races get into beta weekends”

  • Erki

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…When Sara realises, they are all charrsFour other races are needed to have one of each To have all five races in a party at beach.Oh Dear says Sara, holding a beerDancing alone, felling a tear.

  • Setis

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and meet up with the other players.

  • Gregi1290

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… They get drunk and fight … Asura wins.

  • Parkanyipongi

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. They look really tired, and have red eyes. The bartender asks them: guys.. are you high? They look at the asura, and start to laugh.

  • Latabar19

    … and Skeeter say: we don’t like your kind around here…

  • Tonizzle10

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…  and the bartender says “We only accept orders in the Real Money Auction House”.  

  • RyAn

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar, the barkeep says “What’ll it be?”. The Sylvari orders water, the Charr some milk and the Asura asks for the finest ale. The barkeep eyes up the Asura and tells her that she looks under age but he’ll let her off this once with no ID. 

    Suddenly the upholders of law storm in just as she is starting to sip at the pint. They shout “Book her!” The Asuran turns around and says “How dare you!” and summons a Golem to deal with them. 

  • Gustcloacsavior

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The bartender says: “Wooow great pets”. The asura replies:”Yeah i found the green one climbing a tree and the fur-ball was playing outside in my backyard”
     

  • Targuth aka Nick

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…The bartender looks at them and asks, “So what are you having boys?”
    The asuran responds back to the bartender in a smart manor, “A cup of your best magical ale please, Im feeling a bit drained due to casting and rambling about my intelligence along with random facts.”
    The sylvari responds with an act the bartender has never been asked, “Here are some roots and leaves I have found on my journeys so please make me the best ale you can with them.”
    The charr then responds with a typical response, “A hunk of meat from your finest rack and a keg of ale please. Oh and please dont bother opening it I have my armor spikes to do that.”
    After hearing this the bartender looks at them shocked with their demands and gladly responds back, “Please please dont take this in the wrong way but all I have is human ale and if you dont like get out. Oh and as for you charr your more likely to blow the keg up than open it due to your savage strength. On another note, 3 cups of ale, right?”
    The travelers now look at the bartender in a puzzled look and respond all at the same time with, “Human ale will be fine we guess we’re just a little parched.”
    Off in the distance they hear a bell go off and without paying they leave to fight the monstrous dragon not knowing who the bartender is……
    Without even a blink from the companions they are now sitting in a nearby graveyard asking themselves what the hell happened.

    The bartender they just ripped off was one of the creators of GW2, he summoned the powers of Grenth to one shot them without the penalty of banishment, but, gave them the blessing of a message stating, “Dont piss the bartender off or any NPC you never know who your messing with. Have fun play safe. OH yeah that dragon kill is mine. TEEHEE KILL STEAL!!”

    Sorry for the long message but had to do it. Kind of find it funny though due to half the people misspelling the race names.

  • Jakub Vacula

    An asura, sylavari and a charr walk into a bar, so they get drunk.

  • Kevinthomas

    The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this, a joke?”

    Kevinthomas@gmail.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/kary.smith Kary Smith

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, have tasty drinks, and nothing of note happens. 

  • Marre

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and realised they had to be 18+ to enter ;/
    vattenmarre@hotmail.com

  • Arzcy

     An Asura,Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar, when they get this strange sign “Queue until you can enter the bar or just travel while queuing”

  • ShiningF

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and each one of them orders a mug of alchool. They drank it fast, and ordered another one and another and another… After a while and as they were ordering the 5th mug, the owner advised them:
    -That isn’t good for your health! You should stop drinking…
    The three friends then said:
    -We know, specially with what we have…
    After that, the owner asked:
    -What do you guys have?
    And they answered with:
    -We have only a 1 copper in our pockets!

    the end

  • Neew

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walked into a bar and took an arrow to the knee.

  • http://twitter.com/Fursnake Andrew Witt

    and only the Asura doesn’t get clotheslined.

  • tassoss

    error 37 

  • Sareth Kim

    An Asura, Slyvari, and a Charr walk into a bar.  Ouch!  What are the odds of that happenin?

  • Chopmachine

    An Asura,Sylvari and a Charr walked into a bar, had a couple of drinks,then a couple more and after a few more the sylvari asked the charr who is your twin friend??

  • Lelouch

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, and ask wheres the counter.
    then the norn appears.

  • http://twitter.com/Johny_HoneyCake Johny HoneyCake

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.. and no one walk out alive…
    jonaspernica@gmail.com

  • Xccv60

    An short asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar 
    The Sulvary and the Charr asked 3 nice glasses of a beer,
    then the barman asked who will drink the left beer because he dont had seen the short Asura behind he bar, your imaginary friend?
     

  • 0guz

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar to fight with other server, then other bar’s asura,sylvari and charr appear on the door. Now they all fight in a BaRvsBaRvsBaR fight for two weeks. Eternal Barrlegrounds!  pessimistxl@hotmail.com

  • Chris_extreme1

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The Elder Dragon bartender looks up and says, “Is this some kind of joke?”

  • Cherabunji

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and the Human walked away from the carnage with the bar on his shoulder.

  • Lavaflow

    An asura, sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar. They see all the drunk humans, and walk out again.

  • PrivateSlave

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the asura ask’s the sylvari:- Hey, wanna see a wet pussy?
      He grabs his drink and thows it to the charr.

  • Flocky8D

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.. because they were too drunk already since they would never be friends with each other!

  • Icy8s

    The char starts cruising for some tail (or the P word but i wanted to be pg :). The sylvari wants to find a little bush. And the asura wonders where that jukebox jas been all his life!!

  • Merathkira

    An Asura, a Charr and a Sylvari walk into a human bar.

    The Asura notices the ancient contraptions for pouring ale, and mourns the intelligence of the humans.

    The Charr notices a plate of roast beef being shared between party members, and mourns the taste of the humans, who cannot seem to appreciate a good raw meal.

    The Sylvari, however, sits himself upon a wooden seat at the polished wooden bar, and strikes up a cheerful conversation with the bartender. Confused, the Asura and the Charr follow to see what he could find to be so happy about in a bar belonging to humans.

    ‘You’re Sylvari,’ says the Asura, motioning to the heavy wooden beams in the ceiling and the collection of dead potted plants along one wall. ‘Shouldn’t you be depressed over how much death and destruction there is here for you?’

    ‘Oh, no.’ replies the Sylvari, tapping the bar with a smirk. ‘I never much liked my family anyway.’

  • XayaCa

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walked into a bar, it was a bar there you can find pleasure womans… The Asura’s one asked “Which one will we fuck tonight ?!” The Sylvari and the Charr looked each other, then looked to the Asura and made him a smile…

  • CreepyInpu

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the barman asked the charr “Why the long face?”

    The charr, being a charr and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

  • Jacek Wandzel

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the barman says: “so you guys are playing some Guild Wars 2, huh?”

  • Kian Lockwood

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar, in agony the Charr and Slyvari fall to the ground but the Asura seemed to miss the point. 
    It’s a size joke btw
    Kian.lockwood@yahoo.com

  • Pingback: BWE #2, coming right up! « Under the Pale Tree

  • Joshua77450

    An asura, a sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar… and to bartender asks, “What’s your story?”

  • Niabi

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Char walk into a bar and go out again.

  • atomic

    Told from a charr

    “An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    the charr walks out alive.”

  • Arti

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar but they had no more money and had to go out.

  • Peter

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. Asura orders orange juice, slyvari orders mead and charr takes an arrow to the knee! (peter.seliskar@gmail.com)

  • NanTong

    A charr, an asura and a sylvari walk into a bar, their names were Rytlock Brimstona, Zojja and Caithe. Just kidding, that was before our time.

  • Gankyman

    A homeless Asura walks into the bar and asks the barman for a toothpick. 
    The barman gives him a strange look but hands over a toothpick.
    The Asura runs out and a few seconds later a homeless Sylvari runs into the bar also asking for a toothpick, the barman looks suspiciously at him but again obliges. A minute later a homeless Charr rushes into the bar, the barman sees him and says “So I guess you would like a toothpick as well?” The Charr growls back at him, “Actually human, I would like a straw.” ”Why on Earth would you want a straw?” Says the barman.The homeless Charr replies, “Because a Norn has just lost a drinking contest and been sick outside, and all the good chunks are gone.”True story.gankyman@msn.com

    • Dawgggg

      LOL

      • Njz21

        classic lol thats pretty good

        • Gankyman

          lol

  • Megan Goodwin

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…but only the lucky people with beta access could see them. They did some amazing things, that everyone should see!

  • http://twitter.com/davidrol6 David Roldán Alvarez

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and they drink and eat like everyone else.

  • deadly

    To get drunk after they defeated all evil monsters around!

  • dolle chris

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar,

    ..and the barkeeper says: ‘New Event Nearby!’. So the Asura, Sylvari, and Charr reply: ‘Lets make a party then!’

  • Jushua Pwladead

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walked into a bar… the bartender say: “Long day? drinks on the house.”

  • Roy

    The charr asks the bartender (also charr), “Got a table for the three of us?”
    The bartender looks at the other two, shakes his head, and replies, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

  • Martin Balcerzak

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, each of them order a drink. After 10 minutes of waiting they call the barman and ask:”When will the drinks be ready?”
    The barman answers:
    “When they’re done”.

  • FOREVER ALONE

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar……………..  FOREVER A-NORN.

  • http://twitter.com/Wulven Joey – That one guy

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…

    While the asura slipped right under it and the charr was too hardheaded to even flinch, the sylvari remains in critical condition…

    The questions still remain, why all 3 of them happened to walk into the same bar, and why there was a bar hanging in the middle of the path.

  • Dobi Jakub

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. They crawl back out.

  • Decade Rider

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…and say ” Cn i Have a Milk Pls!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/shane.crofts.18 Shane Crofts

    sylvari and a charr walked into a bar, Asura turns round and laughs, (stupid idiots, the joys of being small)

  • Wazluk

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar… called “No Drunks Allowed”.   The bartender turns around and asks “What’ll have you Charr?”.  The Charr replies “A round of beer for my new friends and I?”.  The bartender give him a puzzled look and says “New friends?”  Charr looks around and sees his 2 friends are no where in sight.  All the Charr sees in Norms, Humans, and more Charrs.  Then he says to the bartender “Did you see where my Asura and Sylvari friends went?”  The bartender gives him a stern look and shouts “We don’t allow their kind here in NDA!”

    • Wazluk

       oops typo “What’ll you have Charr?”

  • Xenon

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar because they want!

  • http://www.facebook.com/cindy.peel1 Cindy Peel

    An asura,sylvari and a char walk into a bar and people said must be rough out there good thing i am playing guild wars 2 here.

  • Crystalas

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Norn are walking in a forest hunting when they come upon a tree who has their prey in it’s upper branches. The Asura wants to build rocket to fly them to it, the Sylvari talks to the tree to convince it to loosen the creature’s grip so it will fall. 

    While the Asura is building and the Sylvari is mumbling the Norn walks over and with his big axe chops the tree down, it does make a sound when it falls.

  • danker

    An Asura, Sylvari and Charr walk into a bar and the bartender looks at them and says: I told you not to come back here! This is not an arena!

  • yayayah77

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The bartender says: man is it halloween today?

  • PanKolecko

    An asura,sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and all three be beaten by drunk Norn.Norn FTW.

  • kalran

    An Asura, Slyvari, and a Charr walk into a bar The Asura orders a bud the Slyvari orders a MGD and the Charr says to the bartender “I’f none of them are having a beer I won’t either  just give me a coke.

  • http://twitter.com/echoespaul Paul

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the barman says: Buckle your seatbelt Dorothy, ’cause Azeroth, is going byebye.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lekimibuz Mikel Zubizarreta

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and just the sylvari and the charr come out, the charr is carnivorous.

  • Choob

    “What would you like?”, asks the barkeeper. The Charr replies, “I’ll have a gin…(he is silent for a few moments)… And tonic.” The Asura and Sylvari give him a puzzled look and ask, “What’s with the big pause?”

    The Charr replies nonchalantly “Oh, these?” He holds his arms out, looking down at his paws. “I’ve had them all my life.”

  • Robin

    An Asura, Slyvari, and a Charr walk into a bar and I have no idea where this is going about.

  • Alissa Garrett

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.  As they sit, the bartender tells them, “You must answer this one question before I can serve you.  What is the meaning of life?”

    The Asura, excited at the prospect of this challenge, hops from her seat and immediately begins the task of building a machine capable of giving an answer.  It will be an answer she’s unlikely to understand, leading the the creation of a second machine to work on explaining it to her.

    With a humble bow, the Sylvari replies,  “That is the goal of my wandering, it is an answer I cannot give until I have covered every inch of this wide land.”  And so, drinkless, the Sylvari leaves to continue his quest.

    Flashing his teeth and brandishing his dagger, the Charr reaches over and steals the drink of another patron at the bar.  When others at the bar look at him with mixed reproach and shock, he replies,  “What?  He’s got a drink, so he must know the answer.  He can just give it again.”

  • TarmiziJiki

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… Bartender says: Where the fuck is a tiny small like a creatures suppose to give me a gold
    Asura says: Hey dude it’s me you dumb fuck and I didn’t make that exception either, Then Charr walks in ” Smack” the Bartender.
    When Sylvari says: You stupid Bartender she didn’t owe you a gold either and give triple time ” Smack” on his face Bartender!

  • Callin

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The sylvari broke down crying becuase it thought it hurt the wood.

  • Gdavidson96

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar …….. They can’t find the charr because he is stuck in the overflow server

  • Keith01

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… The Charr walks up to the sylvari and asura and says, “I’ll bet 1,000 gold I can throw back 2 pints of mead before both of you can down 2 shots.”The Sulvari and Asura look at each other like the Charr is out of his mind so they agree to the easy bet and lay down their money on the table.The Charr says, “Ok, rules are you can’t touch my glasses and I can’t touch yours. And you have to at least let me finish my first pint before you start drinking your 2 shots… it’s only fair.”The Sylvari and Asura look puzzled but still confident and concur.And on the count of 3 the Charr picks up his first pint and chugs it in less than 5 seconds… The sylvari and asura picks up their first shot glass and slam them back in under a second and put down their shot glass and as they reach for the second a large emptied beer mug is placed of the remaining shot glasses. Stunned; the Sylvari and Asura watch at the Charr casually pick up their cash and his remaining beer mug and leave as he says “Remember, don’t touch my glass.”

  • bl1zzy

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… Wait there are bars in Tyria?

  • Jedi_razvy

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…  nothing happens because there were no free drinks

    • Unorapido

      how many pve mesmers does it take to build a cart?
      the answer: 5 but good luck finding them.

  • http://twitter.com/veteranas veteranas

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.. the bartender looks at the sylvari and says: “sorry, you look under 25, can I see some ID?”

  • Calvin He

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… The slyvari ordered some food, and the barkeep gave the slyvari a bright lamp. The blood legion charr ordered some food too, but the bar keep said ” Sorry, we don’t serve blood in here.” Feeling up to it, the ausra made a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.

  • Gałkowski Tomasz

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar where they get drunk… the next thing they remember is asura trying to play “the witcher vs striga” with the charr… asura was the witcher. Charr and sylvari walked out of the bar.
    galkowski.t@gmail.com

  • Cole

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… with all three hurting in agony and with a bump on their heads they wonder to themselves, we must look pretty rediculous all waking into the same steel bar! Ouch! o.O

  • Fatlindo

    A……. walk into a bar, and the barkeeper asks : why arent you in the guild wars 2 cast? GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE AND DON’T DELAY THE GAME! So he kicks them out and commands his son to drive them back

  • rabidwalrus

    and the asura goes to get their drinks, but trips on the way back and drops them down the sink.  The asura and charr begin to spar, and the beast in fur is winning so far. The sylvari cries why can’t there be peace, and the charr yells back Shut up you bag of leaves. The asura is about to fall, but runs to the bathroom to hide in the stall. The charr follows as an angry gent, but did not realize the asura’s intelligence. The asura had caltrops on the floor, which only hurt the charr even more. The charr became crippled as the sylvari arrived, and saw what the asura had contrived. They watched under the stall for a bit, and saw the floor become a river of sh*t. they couldn’t stand the smell which is easy to see, and got out of the bathroom fast as could be. They ran from the stench, which as far as smells went, really should earn me a beta key.

  • http://www.facebook.com/zalan.portikcseres Zalán Portik Cseres

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, but they kicked out, because of error 37.

    • Pudge

      That was hilarious!

  • Ranger

    One of them said: ” Ok, the party is up but… who’s the tank?”

  • Matt

    An
    Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar… …Unable to complete operation.

    Please try again in a
    few minutes.  (Code=42:0:9001:3858:101) 

    “NOOOOOOOoooooooo!!!

  • Gabie :)

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walks into a bar,..and the barkeeper says: ‘New Event Nearby!’. So the Asura, Sylvari, and Charr replies: ‘Lets make a party then!’

  • Ardomogen

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.. i forgot the rest of the joke but your norn mother is a whore..

  • Jesper Kraft

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and finds a magic lamp. They decide to have one wish each. 
    The asura, who is blind wishes to get his vision back. Suddenly he can see and sais: – I can see!
    The sylvari, who is deaf, wishes to hear again. The wish comes true and he sais: – I can hear again! 
    Lastly the charr, who sits in a wheelchair, makes his wish. When he is finished, he sais with great exitement: – Look fellahs! A brand new pair of wheels!

  • Walterab

    A charr, an asura and a sylvari walk into a bar, the Sylvari complains that it isn’t a gay bar.

  • Maarrandom

    An Asura, a Char and a Norn walk into a bar…

    The bartender turns around and responds:

    ” Dear sir pets and children are not allowed here please leave them outside ”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=543959331 Robert Kelford

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walked into a bar.
    Glint snorted in amusement to herself and muttered, “Those silly mortals always fall for that one.”

  • Tarozeero

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… “THUMP! OUCH!”

  • Aqlye

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    asura get laid

  • handerson11

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.
    The Charr takes part and crafts it into a pistol.
    The Asura took more and crafts it into a mini golem.
    The Sylvari only tries to talk to it then leaves it alone.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002187937416 Feao Kolo

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. Yup that was the joke w00t geev me mah key naow.

  • Modran

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar on skyscraper and they see some random guy drinking there. Few moments after he jumps of the roof and come back on elevator. They ask him how he did it and he respond that the local beer gives him immortality. So they order a beer and jump off the edge dying instatly as soon as they hit the ground. Then bartander says to that random guy “Superman you are such a douche when you are drunk”.

  • Clocked

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. Soon after a human walks in and yell “TIME TO PARTY!”The three stands up and says “Who should we slay?!”

  • Faroreforelorn

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…the bartender says “Sorry, we only serve humans here. But if you complete a dynamic event, I may be persuaded to serve you. So tell me of your greatest achievement in life, and the best one of you may drink.”

    The Asura begins by long-windedly explaining how he single-handedly invented a Golem which can serve any known drink within seconds, by instasynthing (instant synthesizing) the required ingredients on the spot.

    “Very impressive. And how about you?”

    The Sylvari told the bartender of his great Dream, and how he has been on an expedition across the world in search for both the meaning of his existence and a possible solution to the growing threat.

    “Very noble of you. Charr?”

    The Charr eyed the bartender and smirked. “I lead a band of our race’s most ferocious warriors in battle against the ghosts of your ancestors in Old Ascalon, and if I don’t get a drink, you’ll be joining them.”

    The bartender laughed until he cried.

    “I should tear you limb from limb,” the Charr said, “you dare mock me?”

    The bartender continued laughing, and finally said “Silly Bookah!” and evaporated into mist, leaving a pint-sized Asura in his place. “My camography immersifier is a complete success! You three had no clue! You can all take your drinks and leave, I’ve got a research paper to write!”

  • Crmaracic

    The charr chipped a claw, the sylvari snapped a stick, and the asura chuckled as he ordered his ale.

    crmaracic@yahoo.com

  • Xhukari

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, a bouncer checks his list; a wall ornament, a side salad and a fur coat, letting them. 

  • Fatlindo

    Sorry. Must write again becausse of wrong e-mail

    A……. walk into a bar, and the barkeeper asks : why arent you in the guild wars 2 cast? GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE AND DON’T DELAY THE GAME! So he kicks them out and commands his son to drive them back.

  • Cris Entueme

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…oh wait.. I must be drunk.

  • Erumelthir

    An asuran, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. Then the bartender says, “What is this? Some kind of joke?”

  • Brimck7

    A Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar…. the Asura ducks.

  • Baelzar

    ….the bartender says, “Asura-ware, we don’t Sylvari much to your kind.”

    “Charr-ly you’ll make an exception?” they pleaded.

    “Norn of that now – get out.”

  • mihai tudorascu

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar . The bartender stare at them for some time and says : - What brings you here and what are you? 
    Charr : I am a fierce warrior and i ve been thrown in this world to destroy every trace of human being ! 
    Sylvari : – I have fallen from the pale tree and i`m here seeking justice and revenge …
    Bartender : What about you little one?
    Asura : i… i was walking down the street and those two fell on me . 

  • nickzr

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walks into a bar and sits down to have a few beers. After a while, the charr walks up to the bartender and says, “Berkeep. Set an empty shotglass over there on the other end of the bar. I’ll bet you 500 gold I can stand on THIS end of the bar and urinate into that shotglass from all the way cross this bar.. heck, I’ll even fill it.”The bartender says, “you’ve got a deal, bud,” and sets the empty shotglass on the other end of the bar.The charr then proceeds to unzip and mike his attempt, but he misses horribly. Urine is everywhere, all over the bar, on the floor in front and behind the bar, on the glasses, all over the place, but he does not come within 5 feet of the shotglass.So the guy zips up, hands over 500 gold to the bartender and starts to walk away, whistling like he’s the happiest person in the world.A norn who had been sitting at the bar says, “hey buddy… why’ you so chipper, you just lost 500 gold?”The charr replies, “see the asura and sylvari sitting over there…” pointing to the two friends the charr came in with.Yeah, the norn replies.”Well, I just bet them 1,000 gold each that I could urinate all over the bar and the bartender would clean it up with a smile on his face.”

  • mike

    the charr states give me two of your strongest shots, the sylvari asks for one there lightest beer, the asura asks for the smartest drink they have, bartender reply’s srry man not one of these drinks is the smart choice. the asura thinks, then says well i want one them light beers then, drinks half and passes out, and finally wakes up with his pants around his head and a dick inked upon his forehead. he asks the charr whos in his room what happen, he goes you passed out after that one drink and i broght u home and that it would be funny to put your pants on your forehead thought it would be funny, asura goes why do smell ink, charr says when i got u home some ink fell into my pants, see

  • Siuqram

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    The ‘sura had no money,
    neither did the sylvari,
    unlike the prosperous charr.

    They thought it was funny,
    And quite a bit punny,
    ’til the charr went “Dude, where’s my car!?”

  • Clong33

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… 2 hours later the charr walks out with indigestion.

  • Asperyules

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, bartender says “Oh look, an emo guy with his She Hulk girlfriend and her pet !”

  • Augustknai

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    They all score great and become lawyers.

  • Baelzar

    ….the bartender says, “Asura-ware, we don’t Sylvari much to your kind.”

    “Charr-ly you’ll make an exception?” they pleaded.

    “Norn of that now – get out.”

    baelzar@hotmail.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=514046348 Chris Speak

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, and the bartender turns and says “Hey, is the circus in town?”

  • DarkMaster

    … and after 5 minutes they have been wiped.

  • Kamon Kami

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The charr gets really drunk. Next day after the hangover, the sylvari knocks: Hey, Charr! I can’t understand you just tried to ate the asura!
    Charr: Sorry, I can’t remember. I hope he was delicious.
    Sylvari: I bet he wasn’t after he burned your pelt.
    Charr: Ahhh! That’s why the neighbours call me a nudist!

  • Sebastian123pvp

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, then the charr starts to throw darts while the sylvari get hit on (Alot!) and the asura fixes the self-handling beer machine that everyone loves

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=600816803 Bryan Chan

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…the drunkard stops spamming alcohol

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=799120526 Sam Gawel

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… Ouch!

  • spws

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and then the Asura took an arrow in the knee , worst joke ever ,  that’s all , now i want my key thanks.

  • Xaiu

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar. If you know what I mean ;)

  • Stefulik67

    …charr and screaming, the barman beer smells like dirty penis. barman says, ”give it to second hand beer please”  stefulik67@gmail.com

  • http://twitter.com/leumasx7 Sam McFaddin

    An Asura, Sylvari, and Charr walk into a bar. The human face-palmed, because they failed to look where they were going.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bruno.sidarta Bruno Sidarta

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar they drink a lot and they have a ideia, have a threesome night! But didn’t happen because the charr don’t like vegetables and sylvari don’t wanna be a freak mixture of pedophile with zoophile. D:

    email: brunosidarta@gmail.com

  • Janbassi

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…but as the server was giving them network errors they couldnt order anything

  • Heorte

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…The ArenaNet bartender asks, “What will it be?”

    The Charr pushes his way first in line and asks, “I want some crispy bacon with a side of burnt toast.”
    The ArenaNet bartender says, “This is a bar not a restaurant get out!”
    The Charr pouts and leaves the bar.

    The Sylvari is next in line and asks, “May I have something vegan? I’m a little anxious when it comes to ordering something processed, or has anything to do with hurting, being tested or harming animals, and honestly it’s just -”
    The ArenaNet bartender interrupts and says, “Look lady, this is a bar, now you came here for a drink and I’ll give you one, but I can’t insure any of the above so you might as well leave.”
    The Sylvari scowls and “leaves.”

    The Asura goes to the ArenaNet bartender, but before he could ask what he wants the ArenaNet bartender laughs and says, “Okay little man what would you like to have? Would you like some bacon or perhaps something vegan?”
    The Asura smiles and says, “I would like one Screwdriver please.”
    The ArenaNet bartender exclaims in delight, “That’s what I’m talking about. Finally someone ordered a drink around here. One Vodka and Orange coming right up!”

    The Asura says, “No, no, no! I need a screwdriver for my siege golem. It broke down when I was on my way here.”
    The ArenaNet bartender slaps his face, and murmurs to himself, “I’m so glad my shift is almost over so I can finally RELEASE.”

    • Heorte

      Not sure if I have to post my e-mail to the joke but I’ll do it in a reply just in case. 
      - chrismartinez91@gmail.com

  • Floski

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, ordered 10,000 Dwarven Ales each and maxed their drunkard title. 

  • Dacommishffl

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…Because the PROPHECIES said that if they did, they would get satisFACTIONS before NIGHTFALL!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=673133913 Thomas Benedek

    an asura came to the ocean saw an char then the char said: what are im doing here im a cat…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001234370011 Ryan Wilson

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…

    Asura: “What did you guys hit your heads on?”

  • Olochies

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…  the guard made them to leave, because they had no beta key

  • LKOGL

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar fill of jokesand they said together with disgusted faces : (Unfortunately,20 beta key will be lost in the tide)

    LKOGL@hotmail.com

  • Coldman

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…

    …the charr orders a drink and starts staring at his drink. After staring at it for half an hour without taking a sip, the sylvari decides to have some fun with him. He picks up the charr’s drink and knocks it back in one. The charr starts crying. ‘Don’t take it like that,’ says the sylvari. ‘It was a joke. I’ll buy you another one.’ ‘It’s not just that,’ replies the charr. ‘This day has been the worst one of my life. First, I oversleep and get into work late. My boss fires me and, when I leave the fort, I find my car had been stolen. I get a cab home but leave my briefcase on the back seat with my wallet in it. Then, when I get home, I find my charr-wife in bed with an asura. After all that I come to this bar and then, when I’ve just made up my mind to end it all, you show up and drink my poison.’

  • Najfore

    A level 10 charr, level 12 asura, and level 20 sylvari walk into a bar.

    “What’ll you have?” Bartender asks the charr, “whiskey” he responds.
    “What’ll you have?” Bartender asks the asura, “yes yes, whiskey sounds fine” asura replies.

    the bartender gets the two their drinks, and the sylvari looks at him.
    “I’ll take a whiskey as well” he says. Bartender looks at the sylvari, “sorry we don’t serve your level here”

    The three quickly left the bar, realizing azeroth just wasn’t the best place for friends to get a drink.

    Najfore@gmail.com

  • Aminebrini91

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, took a beer, when suddenly the Charr’s cellphone rang. He went out running,
    and locked the door for the asura and the sylvari. the sylvari “what are you doing?” the Charr “fool, look at the last tweet”.. Asura and Sylvari will not be playable in BWE2 I’m afraid :( ^AT

    aminebrini91@gmail.com

  • BritPatriot89

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… but only the Sylvari is seen entering as it is her story instance.

  • Smurf

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… Sadly, only nords come out

  • S@j

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar. One starts to insult the other two. He screams, ,,I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other GW2 champions will do. The first again yells, ,,I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
    The other two champions says, ,,Go home dad you’re drunk.”

    email: robertseidl93@gmail.com 

  • http://www.facebook.com/jason.zachariewicz Jason Zachariewicz

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and then proceed to order a drink, by the time the drink is gone they realize that they ordered the same drink not just the same kind the same exact drink asura and the charr start to fight over who is going to pay for it while the Slyvari makes like a tree and leaves.

  • Jett D.

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…  You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

  • Vuk Djuric

    The new Sylvari hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street , the seasoned veterans of Tyria, Cantha, and Elona all gathered around to hear the details.

    She said “well , he was a big muscular and handsome human

  • MattSSmith94

    A Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar. The Asura just walks under it.

  • Gruvnhi

    And after the door closed the Charr looked around scratching his looking for the other two. He then realised the ramp to the door seemed a bit long and the hand painted sign ” Bar this way” should of been a clue. “Oh sh*t” he yelled as the smell of blood filled his nose. With the sound of saws and screams in the background, the bartender asked the other two how they would like their steaks cooked.

  • Gun Anam

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…The Charr says to the barman, “I want a pint of your finest ale because it makes me feel stronger”.  So the barman pours him an ale.The Asura say to the barman, “I’ll have an energy drink because it helps me think faster”, so the barman gets him an energy drink.The Sylvari, inquisitive as always, asks the barman, “give me something that’ll make me feel healthier”.  So the barman shits in in a glass…(reference to manure for plants for those who are a bit slow)

  • Hlavopras

    An asura, sylvari and charr walk into a bar….
    They meet a beautiful girl there and they fall in love with her. Each of them goes out of the bar with her to talk cos there’s a noise. First goes asura and when he comes back he cries. He found that she is dumb teen blonde and he has nothing to talk about with her. Second goes charr and when he comes back he cries. He founds that she is vegetarian and he eats meat only. Third goes sylvari and he is with her for hours. After some time the girl appears in doors cryin. She founds that Sylvari is a meat.

  • Squarebob

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the bartender asks “what bring you three around?” The Asura says, “To test out my new ‘inebriation inhibitor’ which I’m certain will work.” The Sylvari says, “Poor little guy can’t handle his liquor so he made a machine to help.”The Charr says, “A real warrior doesn’t require aid to drink!”"He can’t help that he is so small that drinking does him in. This new invention could be interesting. Show us how it works .. hey, where did he go?” asks the Sylvari.The Charr burbs. “Sorry, I just get so hungry.”squarebob@hotmail:disqus.com

  • Un-mec-simpa

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…  it approaches the bar and the charr it takes a hit from a norn completely broken, the charr begins to fiddle with but hushed by the sylvari, the norn to him when grabs the asura and use it as a hammer to hit the charr … and thus began the next game Guildwars3 :)

  • Remz1337

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The sylvari order a vegetable juice, the charr order a flaming sambuca and the asura order some hot sake. The charr ask the asura if he’s got asian family and the asura answers: “according to your reasoning, your family must live in my chimney” and the sylvari added: “and I just drank my brother”

  • Mariankos

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar……they asked bartender to be a judge in their little contest: each of them will get two steal balls and the task is to do something amazing with them – whoever wins, drinks on the cost of his friends.
    First one was Sylvari – he took two balls from the bartender, stare at them for a minute and swallow both of them almost simultaneously
    Second was Asura – he took balls from bartender, went to the room in the back of the bar. When he comes back the balls wear floating in the air thanks to some complicated magnetic formula.
    Third was Charr – he took balls, went to the back of the bar and… didn’t come back after 5 minutes, even after 10… everybody waiting and getting inpatient. After 15 minutes Charr is running back crying!
    Everybody:
    -what happened?
    Charr:
    - I broke one ball and lost the othe one ;(
    Charr was drunk as skunk this night :)

  • Luch

    An asura,
    sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. All three of them order drinks and continue
    their night. When it comes time for the
    bill, the Asura looks in his wallet and states “I can’t pay, I’m a little
    short.

  • Steve

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    The Human and the Norn ducked.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/XPEQUICN6USQSLZFPU2IGIAPRQ Mathias

    An Asura, Sylvari and charr walk into a bar, the Sylvari ask “What do you think of the weather?”
    The Asura replies “It could be inproved.”
    The Sylvari ask “how?”
    The Charr interrupts “with war machines.”

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/QAKQZSES7R7LHMI5UIJJ4CHF3Q Accaunt

     An Ashura, Slyvari, and Charr walk into a bar and then walk out when they found out that Chuck Norris drunk  all the whisky.

  • R3lapse

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk in to a bar and scarface jumped in and shot everybody. :)

    angerfistfin@gmail.com

  • CarnageFoo

    Three brave asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…….LETS GO KILL THEM!

  • Twan Potters

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… Charr: Asuras first..

  • rane

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar……..only the charr walks out.

  • CapnSquid

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, well Actually just the charr does since the sylvari and asura were short enough to duck under it.

    Not the kinda bar you thought it was hey?

  • Krzys Rapacz

    An Asura, sylvari and charr walk into a bar, and barman ask Asura about ID

  • http://twitter.com/83NA Ben Abrams

    “An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar…”
    “No wait, only the Sylvari and the Charr do, the Asura walks UNDER the bar!!”
    - All credit goes to Mad King Thorn, so long as the beta key goes to me. ;)

    For the purpose of originality, a couple more, nowhere near as good as that comic genius Thorn’s:

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar, but are interrupted. It was a skill bar.

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar, loudly and repeatedly announcing their presence to everyone as they do.
    The bartender, confused, asks “What are you doing?”
    “Oh, nothing,” the Charr responds, “just pinging my bar!”

  • Cbaker

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar…

    Sylvari says “You’re hot!”Charr says “Got wood?”Asura…”I’m Leaving”

    • Olgerkhan.9607

       An Asura, a Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar built way out in the barrens of the Shiverpeaks.  The Asura turns to the Charr and says, “It’s freezing in here.  Make yourself useful and build us a fire!”  The Charr scratches its chin and grunts, “”Where am i gonna find any wood around here, short one?”  Without saying a word to either of the other two, the Sylvari gets up and leaves….

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=673133913 Thomas Benedek

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and then the char just walks home again cause hes just to big for the chair but the asura was siting in the chair and the sylvari too so they just drank. a guys come and sat beside the sylvari and the sylvari said you got a asura in ur stuck in ur butt

  • Insaneboi94

    An Asura, Sylvari, and Charr all walk into a bar and order 3 drinks. Then the Sylvari and Asura shatter, causing confusion on everyone else in the bar, and the Charr gets 3 drinks for free.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/GATG7NNE5TH5AXI5QLZO2CPQ2U Justin Pipa

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    only asura doesn’t need to push the door
    Because that is cowboy bar room door!

  • Kamon Kami

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The charr gets really drunk. Next day after the hangover the sylvari visits the charr.
    Sylvari: I can’t understand you just tried to ate asura!
    Charr: Sorry, i can’t remember to anything. I hope he was delicious.
    Sylvari: Well, i bet he wasn’t after burning your pelt.
    Charr: Ahhh! That’s why the neighbours call me a nudist! (sorry nudists :D)

  • Force132

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and then… long story short they had to remake the poor sylvari’s face.

  • Jamy503

    Overflow servers. The reason you don’t get error 37.

  • R0land6

    ……everyone starts laughing, and the charr gives a wink to the crowd

  • Aleksander

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and comes out drunk.

  • SomeGuy

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. They get extremely drunk and dance around. Suddenly a heavily equipped character walks into the bar. Everyone looks at him, waiting until he explains himself.

    After a pause he says: “What? I thought you were looking to party!”

  • Chavi

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.
    The bartender yells to the sylvari “Hey! We don’t serve their kind here!”, pointing at her companions.
    The sylvari is like “What?!?” and the bartender – “Your pets! They’ll have to wait outside. We don’t want them here.”.
    The sylvari turns to her companions and says “Listen, why don’t you wait out by the trees. We don’t want any trouble.”
    The asura turns around and leaves, but the charr jumps furiously towards the bar, smashing everyone and everything there.
    After a brief moment of silence, the charr throws the bartender some coins as he leaves the bar saying
    “Sorry about the mess.”

  • Lukas

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The barman says, ‘Is this some kind of joke?’ they say “what did u expected shrek and his friends?”

  • Lina

    An Asura, Sylvari, And a Charr walk into a bar. The Bartender look over and says “What is this, A joke?”

  • laikk

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, charr says to the bartender, ‘I’ll have a whisky and ……… soda.’ The bartender says, ‘Why the big pause?’ ‘Dunno,’ says charr. ‘I’ve always had them.’

  • Peso50

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the bartender asks the Charr and Sylvari “what will it be? And next time don’t let the kids follow you inside”

  • ReapzforFun

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…they go up to human bartender he gives a strange expression and he says “Ahhh I get it guys….keep on the hush hush but uhhh my wife likes when I dress up too ;)”    

  • Icetorn

    An asura, sylvari and charr are riding in a boat. All of a sudden a monster comes out and says: I’ll eat you guys if you don’t throw something that I’m not able to find in the water.
    Charr threw his axe and the monster found it immediately and ate him.
    Sylvari threw a coin. After a while the monster found it and ate the Sylvari.
    Asura spat in the water and yelled: Find this you b’stard!

  • http://twitter.com/ArchiezGG Istvan Nemeth

    An asura, a sylvari and a charr walk into a bar with a moa on their side. The bartender asks, “Hey, you, where’d you get that?” The moa says: “Tyria. They got ‘em running all over the place!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/rondell.clark Rondell Clark

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into bar and all get drunk flat
    on the floor. As the Asura and Sylvari manage to get back on their feet
    after being incapacitated and walk to the door, the bar keep yells back.
    “Hey, you can’t leave that lying there!” In which the Asura replies,
    “That’s not a lion, that’s a Charr.”

  • Vladicek

     Asura, sylvari and charr walk into a bar along with bunch of skitters. After a while asura, sylvari and charr start to argue. Charr says that they produce the finest charr whiskey.
    Char says – ,, Hey bartender give the finest bottle of our whisky you have here !
    Bartender – ,, ok, here it is… 100 hundred years old…
    Charr just sips a bit and then throw the bottle against wall. Sylvari and asura are shocked.
    Sylvari – ,, how could u just do that? It is damn expensive…
    Charr – what? u cant even imagine how much of it we have back home, dont act like a litle girl.
    Sylvari then orders the most exclusive fruit juice that gives boon +100% HP for 2 hours.
    Sylvari just sips a bit and then throws the bottle against the wall as well as charr.
    Charr cant believe what he sees.
    Charr – ,, hell no! u strawbery sucker ! we could have used during a great battle with dragons…
    Sylvari – what? u cant even imagine how much of it we have back home, dont act like a litle girl.
    Asura then orders one cup of water, drinks it, summons a gollem and kills all skritters in the bar.
    Asura – ,, so what !? u cant even imagine how much of  these  we have back home

    • Vladicek

       last sentence – how many of these

  • Dj_cristo4

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar……they asked bartender to be a judge in their little contest: each of them will get two steal balls and the task is to do something amazing with them – whoever wins, drinks on the cost of his friends.
    First one was Sylvari – he took two balls from the bartender, stare at them for a minute and swallow both of them almost simultaneously
    Second was Asura – he took balls from bartender, went to the room in the back of the bar. When he comes back the balls wear floating in the air thanks to some complicated magnetic formula.
    Third was Charr – he took balls, went to the back of the bar and… didn’t come back after 5 minutes, even after 10… everybody waiting and getting inpatient. After 15 minutes Charr is running back crying!
    Everybody:
    -what happened?
    Charr:
    - I broke one ball and lost the othe one ;(
    Charr was drunk as skunk this night :)

  • Kael

      An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar in Hoelbrak and make their orders by the barkeeper. 
      The Asura asks for a juniper, minth and mead fusion brew over a chemiplasmithermostatic pad to keep the brew warm…with an umbrella on top…the barkeeper than checks for a miracle under the stand and replies: “sorry mate, only mead around here, i could warm it up for u if u want”, when he rises his head the asura is already picking his drink from inside a GOLEM, “too slow bookah”. The barkeeper imidiatly tells him to piss off. 
      Next is the Silvary who, for obvious reasons, asks for a glass of water, to wich the barkeeper imidiatly replies: “we dont serve water, piss off”.
      And finally he goes to the Charr, whos already delighting himself with a glass of milk, who as an excuse says “i poured it myself” (charr= cowcat). To wich the barkeeper also tells him to piss of.
      Also rumour has it that it was during this event that the “I took and arrow to the knee” became famous, when an already drunk human adventurer suddenly enters the bar demanding women, Ale and Music.

  • Stark

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… The Asura asks the Sylvari: “Do you have any PLANTS for the weekend?”The Sylvari answers: “No, I’m a little SHORT on money.”
    The Charr is annoyed and asks the two of them to be quiet and beastill.

  • Frederic Salort

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. As soon as they enter, every single humain in this bar stopped drinking and jumped on the 3 new comers. The Charr grabs his two small friends  and pulled them behind him to protect them.  
    - “What’s the matter here!” says the Charr.
    - “Are you real?” asks one of the humans.
    - “What do you mean, Human?”
    - “No, no, sorry sir, I’m talking to the Asura and the Sylvari behind you…”
    The two small creatures look at each other, surprised and not understanding what is going on.
    - “Can we play with you” says another human standing next to the first one?
    The Charr is getting anxious, he could break a couple of humans and save his life by scaring them, but he’s not sure he could protect the two others from a stab or a cut…
    - “Stop bothering them guys!” Says the barman. “Go back to your seat, you’ll have all the time in the world to play with a Sylvari or an Asura”.
    - “OK but when?” asks another human.- “… when the game is ready”

    :-)

  • Hakmut

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and Asura asked to sylvari, How can i confuse a charr? Sylvari said Enchantment – Hex removal.

  • Elizabeth

    …to order drinks after a long day of dunegon reaping. The charr orders an irish coffee with extra cream but is thrown out for scratching the furniture. The asura orders a jackhammer but is not served because he can’t reach the bar stool. Finally, the sylvari orders an entire round for the bar so that he won’t be used to replace the furniture the charr destroyed or as a club by the angry asura.

    twitter: epolsdofer :)

  • Dardamanis2

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…autobalaning in 10…9…8…7…

  • Joseph

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, and I say to myself, “Dude I got to stop playing Guild Wars while I’m stoned.”

  • Brett Nelson

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…They sit down for drinks catered by the lovely norn woman. The charr decided to put dwarven ale in the asura’s milk and put a fire bomb in the sylvari’s water. The charr got drunk and touch the norn who slew off his most valuable assest and he ran back to L.A. The sylvari started to flirt with the norn but was ignored so he got burn(spontaneously caught on fire by his drink). Then the sylvari hoping to use his intellect instead got drunk and puke on the norn’s ex-boyfriend. After his hangover the Asura walked out of the bar with a new girlfriend.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1644398743 Luís Antunes

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… the asura and the charr killed the sylvari and asked the bartender for some water: “There’s some tea to be done!”

  • http://twitter.com/Weenkus Vinko Kodžoman

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar to order some ale.
    The bartender asks: “What will it be?”Asura looks at the sylvari with a rather grim face.Glad you asked shouted the charr warrior.It will be legendary and do you know why he asked.The bartender as he had no choice asked: “Why?”Because I just won the key contest and I can go enjoy playing the game I love so much said the charr with a grim on his face.
    And so the group of adventures had their last night out before spending countless and countless of hours playing the game which brought them joy and happiness. 
    THE END.

  • thadpen

    Asura, Sylvari and charr walk into a bar. bartender Yells: “ASURA YOUR NOT IMPLEMENTED YET!!!”

  • jvq7

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. They get extremely drunk and dance around. Suddenly a heavily equipped character walks into the bar. Everyone looks at him, waiting until he explains himself.After a pause he says: “What? I thought you were looking to party!”

  • Felix

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar  and the bartender say’s to the asura “Can i have some weed?”

  • Kazahk

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar for the first time. They all sat down nervously. The asura was so nervous she pulled out her mechanic robot to sooth her nerves. The sylvari was also nervous, to help her she pulled out an ancient feather cap of which she wore. The charr looked around and then walked into the toilet. Minutes later he came back with a stringy play ball of which he hung to play. The bartender said “Where did you get that from?” the charr looked at him and said “The beasts inn” the bartender then said “were can i find it?” the charr looked back at the toilet’s and pointed out “through there and look straight down… cant miss it”

  • Christopher Meyers

    An asura, sylvari, and charr walk into a bar and they all order a drink for themselves. The human bartender puts the drinks down and says, “Boy, aren’t you all an ugly lot.” The asura sighs, the sylvari glares, and the charr growls. Intense stares hit the bartender from across the counter. When they finally break eye contact, the trio notices their drinks missing. The charr asks, “Hey! What’s the meaning of this racism?!” The bartender grins. “Your drinks were there a second ago, cat. You can’t fool me.”

    The group sighs and orders another round. The asura clambers his way onto the bar stool and the bartender laughs. “Your bar should be fitted for all races!” Said the angry asura. The three began to argue again, but then stopped when they noticed their drinks missing again. “Okay what is the meaning of this? What kind of mesmer spells are you using on us?” said the irritated sylvari.

    The bartender laughed mockingly and shook his head. “I ain’t done nothin’ with your drinks.” Fed up, the trio got off their bar stools and began to head for the door. As they neared the exit, a Norn theif with 6 glasses on his table bid them farewell.

  • Frozen_catin

    An asura, sylvari, and charr walk into a bar… The charr immediately goes to the bartender and asks for the darkest liquor, the sylvari naturaly catches the attention of everyone and graciously accepts all the free shots, the asura however, slides in unnoticed and says slyly, “ah, another opportunity.”

  • http://twitter.com/jouzua Jonatan

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… 
    There’s no punchline because Nickleback was playing, and ruining music isn’t funny.

  • Gigitygoobert

    An asura, sylvari, and charr walk into a bar….

    and the barman says, “Hey you can’t have that cat in here”

  • AKCS

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, but the Security Guard throw them out, because they don’t have a beta key.

  • Depredate

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…beque and had a good time with eating lindwormflesh.depredate15@freenet.de

  • Sam

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, and the charr ask for a glass of beer “Do you have a glass of beer?”. The bartender replies “Oh, Sorry we ran out of beer. But we have orange juice, you want it?”. The Charr replies “Orange Juice??!! Orange juice just for kids! Like Asura!!”. Asura got angry “What did you say?! Kids?! Me?!! Before i make this thing worse, better we fight outside!. The Charr said “Challenge Accepted!”. The Sylvari confusion with the behavior of charr and asura, he said “Jeez, both of you act like a kid! Fight because heckled orange juice just for kids?! Don’t you know? I am 80 years old, and i love orange juice!”. Asura and Charr said “Shut up old man! This is our business!”. And the old Sylvari gone mad “You make me mad Rascal!! Wouryaa!!”. The sylvari strike them and the bar were destroyed. The Bartender said “You 3 Idiots! You shall indemnify!! Or i call a police!!” The Charr,Asura, and Sylvari said “Sorry sir, we forgot to put the fight outside.” The bartender reacts “FFFFUUUUUUUUUU!!!!”Hope you enjoy it! Sorry if not funny and my bad english ^^    

  • http://twitter.com/Skar_Hand Joshua Woodard

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…mitzvah. The
    Charr was a little bit nervous about going, as he had recently began suffering
    from a very shameful condition in charr circles…Charr pattern baldness. To remedy
    this condition he had purchased an expensive new hair piece, and was going to
    try out this new toupe at the party.

    During the party, everything went well. Nevertheless, the
    charr thought that everyone must have seen his wig. As they were leaving, the
    Sylvari sees his friend’s worried look and says, “What’s the matter? Why
    are you so sad?”

    “I’m not really sad,” he replies, “it’s just
    that I’m sure everyone saw that I was wearing a wig.”

     ”No they didn’t” the asuran piped up, “no one
    I told said they could even tell.”

  • Wilk

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar , Bartender said did not see the sign on the door? NO rats , plants and cat-dogs in the BAR goddamned !!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Raphael-Santos/657818477 Raphael Santos

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. They see a Human waiter and ask in a hurry:
    -Do you have a counter???
    The waiter nods, and before he can point at it, they ask again:
    -How much time left till next Beta Weekend?

  • Dantert

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… they sit and order to drink to the norn barmaid, when drunk they started to discuss about who is the bravest of them.
    Suddenly the charr shouts “Hulda! Give me an axe!”, the barmaid gives it to him and he cuts his left arm….Then the sylvary shouts  “Hulda! A torch!”  the barmaid gives it to him and he without hesitation burns his left arm and leg without make any noise…
    is the turn of the asura at the end, he hesitates a bit, then he stands up and goes in front of the barmaid and says “Hulda! I’m much stronger than you! You whining little girl!”….

  • Uchiha23

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… 
    Asura:” So I heard you Charr will get acces to Ferocius Warmachines?”Charr:” Ferocius warmachines? Ah yes, we Charr call them Wifes though…”Its the best one IMHO xD

  • Leodien

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…  and the bartender ask them to dance for a drink… the 3 friends unsuccesfully try to dance, after 3 hours of trying,  the bartender look at them and Laughing at them yells… the /dance command is not implemented yet … you fools!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=799120526 Sam Gawel

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and see a sign that reads:
    Clam Cake: 1.50g
    Grilled Mushroom: 2.50g
    Hand Job: 10.00g

    The Mighty Charr rushes in first and intimidates the other 2 races out of the bar.

    He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.

    “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” he asks.

    “Yes,” she purrs. “I am.”

    “Well, wash your frickin’ hands,” says the Charr. “I want a Clam Cake!”

    samuel.gawel@yahoo.co.uk

  • http://twitter.com/Ketchups92 OB Khan

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and order 3 drinks.  The bartender looked at the Asura and says ‘I can’t serve you any drinks unless you’re 21′ so the Asura walks out think ‘Where does a 22 year old have to go to get a drink around here?’

  • http://www.facebook.com/jelmarrr Jelmar Bosscher

    An asure, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… All three order the same drinks.

    Wich one will be drunk first?

    None, they all ordered a coke.

  • Noctris Blazefur

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a World of Warcraft bar… Wait… How’s that even possible since They raped the game!

  • Majingayb

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    The chart demands the other two to buy him a drink of ale. They reply “why should we?” to which the charr quickly responds “’cause I’m in a bad mewd!”

  • Natanyel Kazoula

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    Darn rubberbanding!

  • Chowda

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walked into a bar… The bartender said “So, shouldn’t couples be elsewhere, doing something else?” 
    The Sylvari and Charr stared at each other for a moment, before chuckling, “Im sorry, Sir, it seems that our friend Asura is too insignificant to be noticed.”
    Bewildered, the bartender arced his body forward over the table, before noticing a sad pair of eyes from a short figure staring at him. Flustered, he stammered “I-…Im so sorry, about that, Sir!”

  • http://twitter.com/Andrea_h2o Andrea Dall’acqua

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…cause they were diablo and got error 37

  • Tom K

    An asura, a sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The bartender enthusiastically alerts the people at the bar to their prescence, but they tell him he’s making stuff up, and when the bartender looks again the unlikely trio of friends has disappeared. 

    Later that night, when his wife goes to the bar to see why her man hasn’t come home, she finds him sitting in the corner in the fetal position, faintly whispering to himself: “only a few more months now, and guild wars 2 will release, only a few more months…”

  • Solanylander

    How many necromancers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    None. They like the dark better.
    OR
    One necromancer… and 16 minions
    solanylander@gmail.com

  • cassiano cardona machado

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… the azura turns to the charr and asks: Where is our partner, sylvari? Charr answers, mate?it was not the salad?

    cassiano cardona machadocass.cassiano@gmail.com

  • A. Lowe

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.  The asura and sylvari sit at a table and begin talking about life.  The charr orders a dwarven ale and some mandragor root cake.  After he eats, he stands up and pulls out a pistol shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The charr puts 500 gold on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door, the bartender asks why the charr shot everyone. The charr tells him to look it up on Guild Wars Wiki. The bartender looks up “Charr” and he reads “Charr: savage feline fighting race. Eats shoots and leaves.”

  • Eduardowww

    An asura, sylvary and a charr walk
    into a bar, they pick a table and ask for some drinks, the charr orders a
    cowboy whiskey, the asura doesn’t want to stay behind and order another one,
    and the sylvary orders a mineral water.

                    While
    the talk about their adventures and drinks goes, they end up talking about
    relationship. So the charr start talking about definition of sex. He says:

    -          -    Sex is like the perfect warrior, because he
    starts studying the enemy and keeps growing in strength and power during the
    battle, and in the end he always pierces the enemy leaving him laying on the
    ground and knocked out.

     

    Then the sylvary says:

     

    -          
    - Sex is just like a plant, you start searching
    the soil for a good place to plant the seed, then you gently start digging and
    its better when the soil is wet so the seed can grow comfortably, then if the
    soil is good enough for the plant, in the end the it will grow and throw its
    seeds.

     

    And the the asura says:

     

    -         
    - Sex is the perfect equation, because the woman
    puts inside brackets, increases to the maximum potency, and extracts the
    product, leaving it to its minimum expression.

                 
     

  • DarkWasp

    … and they sit down in front of the bartender and ordered drinks. The charr then asks his friends what they had ordered.

    The asura responds, “I ordered a whiskey because I found evidence that some bumbling idiot moved my new golem to my sister’s clothes shop then fell off its shoulder ripping its head off trying to stay up!”

    The sylvari answers, “I ordered a beer because of the same situation! My beloved was trying on some clothes at your sister’s shop and she claims someone sent a golem to peak at her in the changing room!”

    “That’s preposterous!” The asura exclaimed, “No asura is even REMOTELY attracted to your kind!”

    After a short pause both turned to the charr and asked, “What about you?”

    “I don’t know,” he replied, “but I nearly broke my leg trying to find out.”

  • Drygonfire108

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar, they then proceed to achieve the drunkard title with straight shots of ale and rice wine.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=507780036 Shreddy Mcfretshredder

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar.
    They were blind.

  • H0llyw00d6586

    Bartender says “So which MMO are you guys refugees from?”

  • MasterDRP12

    A Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar… The Sylvari walks to the bar, sits down and orders a drink. The Charr and Asura sit down at a table glaceing over  at the bar they notice the Sylvari staring at his drink, “I wonder what has him down.” says the Charr, so he gets up and walks over to the bar grabs the Sylvari’s drink and chugs it down. The Sylvari starts crying and the Charr looks at him and says; “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink.”

    “No, That’s not it.” Says the Sylvari; “I fell asleep on the council, our head council member, in a outrage asks me to resign. When I left I went outside to get my mount and someone had stolen it.”

    “The guards say they can do nothing. So I walk home and when I get there my wife is sleeping in our bed with the gardener, so I left home to come to this bar.”

    “And when I was thinking about putting my life to a end, you come and drink my poison.”
    :X

  • gunthertaha

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.. asura says So, What is Arenanet waiting for? why did they not released us in the last Beta? Sylvari says Hey, that’s right.. why haven’t they released us? I am still stuck in this dream world to that the Charr says You think that’s bad? I had someone turn me into a pig. Have you seen a cat turn into a pig? and that’s not even the worst part, Th…ey fed me truffles meooww *tears* I flipping hate TRUFFLES

  • Rcommee

    The bartender asks, “What can I do for you?”

    The Asura replies, “I’ll have a-”

    A long silence follows, everyone stares at the little guy.

    “Well?” the bartender urges.

    *Asura has lost connection*

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002547864269 Matthieu Rsu’

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… 

    Charr say “It hasn’t been so good lately, my wife uses her nights out making downtown pub crawl…”

    “Is she an alcoholic ?” Request the Sylvari.

    “No, she’s just lookin for me” Reply the Charr.

    The Asura roll on the floor of laughing. =)

    Matthieur17@gmail.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kraig-Winfield/743472463 Kraig Winfield

    An Asura, Sylvari and Charr walk into a bar, sitting down and ordering heavy drinks. Two minutes pass, and none were yet to be served. The Charr slams his hands against the wooden surface, visibly impatient.
    “How long does it take to get a beverage around here?!”"When it’s ready.”

    exanrecovery@gmail.com

  • http://twitter.com/blaxend Eduardo García

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… then the asura starts the coffee machine and makes a coffee, the sylvari puts a peppermint leaf on it, and the charr breaks the coffee when he tries to drink it.

  • http://twitter.com/Bullshft1170 Yamir Brito

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, and the racist human bartender tells them to get out.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Taylor-Spencer/599883833 Taylor Spencer

    An Asura, Sylvari and Charr walkked into a bar, Batender ask what would it be. keep it coming until the games goes.  bartender says to them join the club.

  • Acrux

    An Asura, Sylvari, and Charr walk into a bar.  They order their respected drinks and head for the door, but that’s when someone opened the door got on the floor and everybody walked the dinosaur.

  • Mrcthulhu

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a  hash bar and the bartender yells: Hey you two… you cant bring here your own stuff..

  • Axxurge

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the sit at a table and call the barman.”We’ll pay a drink to everyone in here!” they said to the strong man.The barman send the waitress to every occupied table and gives them a drink. A bit later, the asura, sylvari and the charr ask the barman to come back at their table.

    “We’ll pay a second drink to everyone in here!” they say, once again, to the barman.

    The barman does the same thing as last time, sends the waitress to every table and gives them a second drink. A bit later again, the asura, sylvari and the charr ask the barman to come back at their table, once again.
    “We’ll pay a third drink to everyone in here!” they say to the barman.He asks: “Do you even have the money to pay all these drinks?”They answer: “Oh no we don’t!”He yells: “Then get the hell out of my bar!” and kicks them out.Our 3 friends come back to the same bar the next day. They sit at a table and ask the barman: “We’ll pay a drink to everyone in here! Except you… Because you’re mad when you’re drunk…”

  • Christian

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar. The bartender said “What are you doing in here” the Charr answered “We just wanted to get a drink?” The bartender said “Don’t you see the sign behind you?, we have closed!” Charr said “Okay, when do you open again?” Bartender “June 8th, and close at June 10th, but you can’t join without a key! Then the Asura and the Sylvari and the Charr walk out of the bar.

  • Per6409

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walks into a bar the barman tells them, “if you can sit in my basement for a day, i’ll give you free beer forever.”
    The Asura walks down there first. After five minutes she comes up and says, “it’s impossible, you got a swarm of flies down there.”So the Sylvari tries his luck, but can’t take more than an hour.Finally the Charr goes down. When he returns a day later, the others ask him how he dit it. He says, “Easy! i took a dump in one corner and sat in the other!”
    per6409@gmail.com

  • HI6969

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the Asura behind the bar says we don’t serve your bookah here.

  • http://www.facebook.com/essoperagma Bekir Öztürk

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…

     and all get killed by a fly…

     ”Victims of Dynamic Level Adjustment – RIP ”

  • Faekat

    And a fight breaks out

  • Jupitor

    ….the bartender says “what’ll you have?” the charr looks at the guy and says “none of your business!”

  • BAZINGA

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… they dont do anything funny because the joke teller has prepurchase beta access =P  

  • pcbo

    why is six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine.

    keep it simple, keep it real!

  • http://twitter.com/Shadestrike Shadestrike

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar. Bartender takes one look at them and says “What is this, a joke?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/BrianShray Brian Shray

    turtles

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1182911363 Filip Westerlund

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar…They get kicked out for interfering with the Human Commoner storyline.

  • Psycotik

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… The Asura asks the Sylvari: “Do you have any PLANTS for the weekend?”The Sylvari answers: “No, I’m a little SHORT on money.”
    The Charr is annoyed and asks the two of them to be quiet and beastill.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001134878725 Kevin Steinbach

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar, after a few hours of drinking a Human comes in, opens a bottle of Champagne and shouts: Happy new Year! After that the Asura says: What are you doing? Its easter…Then the man says: Im fu cked, never celebrated so long.

  • RancidAlice

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The Charr looks at the Asura and asks the Sylvari: “Are you gonna finish that?”

  • pops21po

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar ! 
    Asura said: Barman, whiskey !!! 
    Charr said: Barman, Tequilla !!!
    Sylvari said: Barman, a cup of tea !

    Then the troll barman said: All we have is water !

  • Lex Rosell

    The asura and charr continuously poke fun at the sylvari until she finally exclaims “Will you two just LEAF me the FAUNA alone?!”

  • http://www.youtube.com/TozzaTV TozzaTV

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a Bar…

    The Charr promptly leaves. Why?
    Because he smelt something fishy.

  • Muffin5510

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… AND THEY GOT DRUNK!

  • Jessica

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and a human shouts “Hey! I didn’t know the circus was in town!”

  • Barnabas Horanyi

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… hehe

  • Mathias-91

    First the Asura orders a fine glass of whine, then the Charr orders a pint of brand whiskey and last but not least the Sylvari orders a glass of milk. After several drinks, the Asura drinking whine, the Charr drinking whiskey and the Sylvari drinking milk, tha Asura and the Charr starts giggeling, while the Sylvari finnishes his tenth glass of milk and walks quickly out the door, without any sign of noticing his teasingly joyful company. The Asura and the Charr looks at each other, still scorfully laughing, when suddenly hearing the waiter announce: “Ten glasses..That will be 20K for our finest, most tasteful milk?”

  • Jungle girl

    ……the sylvari asks the bartender “where is the bathroom?”

  • http://twitter.com/JASenpai JASen

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and the charr says: -Barman , hurry a Drink for me and my friends, i dont want to be late for the fight!!The barman does his work really fast, and then he ask: -here!, but…. where´s the fight?-They fight will start soon, because we are not going to pay you!Sorry for bad english :P

  • Slyfeniii

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… norn door guard says: “STOP”
    sylvari asks:”is there a problem?”

    Norn:”no underaged children allowed in the bar!”

    Charr:”what? we dont gotz any juvenile muttons here Meat, just battle worn veterans trying to get some booze.”
    Norn pointing out what seems to be the obvious:”well, your puny friend here seems to be quite small for a drinker.”

    Asura:”are your out of your mind? i have existed for 70 years, 22days, 15hours 22minutes,36seconds and counting; you must be insane to call me a child, did you fail to see my foot long beard?”
    Norn:”well, I’m gonna have to check some id here.”

    Asura:”Blasted be the Dwarfs, my wallet was burned by an imbecile destroyer, just minutes ago.”

    Charr to the norn:”meat, this snack here don’t need no id check, he’ll go down with my wine.”

    Norn:”very well sir, if you need to use the grill please notify the bartender before hand, and, have a good time.”

    -slyfeniii@hotmail.com

  • Phlo

    “An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…”The bartender looks up and says:    Admin, what kind of *some text missing* joke is this?

  • patrick

    and the asura is the only one to crack a joke

  • Rarre_95

    So here’s mine:

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar to grab a drink, celebrating their legendary victories. The bartender asked the worst possible question to the drunk heroes, He said: ”So, which one of you are the strongest one?”
    One question lead to another and suddenly the heroes started fighting.
    - Beer & Chairs were being thrown around in the bar, it was madness -
    Something that started as a celebration became the start of a forever lasting
    hostility.

  • Zachag326

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar, The bartender goes up to the Asura and says “Sorry son, I’m not allowed to serve underaged patrons” Frustrated, the Asura scurries out of the bar. Next the bartender goes up to the Char and says, “Sorry sir but rules say there are no animals allowed”, beaming with rage the Char too storms out. Finally the bartender goes up to the Sylvari and says,”So what will you have to drink” to which the Sylvari replies ” Ill take a glass of water”.

  • Nightmirror

    An asura, sylvari, and a char walk into a bar…

    “Excuse me, sir,” the char says in a low voice. “We are looking for our companions.”

    “Two small hobbits,” the sylvari clarifies. “We seem to have misplaced them.”

    “Do you mean that little fellow down there?” the bartender asks.

  • Andylauo

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    They are discussing where are human? Suddently, they hear that human is playing Guild Wars 2 BWE!? WTF? Why are they at the bar????

  • Rascus

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar … THIS CONTENT IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION AND WONT BE DISPLAYED DURING BETA TESTING.

  • Mack

    An asura, sylvari and charr walk into a bar… The asura didn’t need to duck.

  • Solanylander

    and the slyvari orders a drink. after the first sip the asura asks if shes feeling ok because she looks a bit green. then the charr kills everyone

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michał-Tarasiuk/100003798820575 Michał Tarasiuk

  • Lexrosell

    The Asura and Charr continuously poke fun at the Sylvari until she finally exclaims, “Will you two just LEAF me the FAUNA alone?!”

  • Sib

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…it hurt like hell!

  • http://www.facebook.com/mitchell.zuylen Mitchell Zuylen

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. They walk over to a table to sit down, but the asura starts complaining it’s to big. The charr however start complaining it’s to small. The sylvari looks sad, and says his brother wasn’t done growing yet.

  • http://www.facebook.com/tyler.bryan.754 Tyler Bryan

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and as they order drinks the Asura turns to the Charr and asks “Can I borrow some cash for drinks? I’m a little short.”

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the bartender says “Sorry, no pets allowed.” The sylvari looks at the Charr, confused. The Char looks at the Asura, confused. The Asura looks at the Sylvari and says “Don’t worry, his limbs have been clipped and he won’t wet himself so long as he wasn’t fed in the last 3 hours.”

    Corny, but it’s the best I could come up with in 5 minutes.

  • Klurk

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. They approach the bartender who kindly asks them: “What’s your poison?”. The asura replies, “I’ll have a glass of your smoothest whiskey. The bartender hands him a glass of Orrish whiskey, aged of 1090 AE. The Charr growls loudly, “Bring me your strongest mead!” The bartender is frightened by the mighty beast and hands him his drink. The Sylvari thinks for a while, then says: “I’ll have a shot of Firewater.” He’s handed his drink and the 3 walk over to a table. The asura begins to sip on his whiskey, and gets seemingly upset. “This is the weakest whiskey I’ve ever tasted! What a scam!” The charr grabs his mug of mead and downs it all in one go. “Yuck! Human mead is horrible!” The sylvari grabs his shot and says: “I’ve always wanted to try firewater, let’s see if it lives up to it’s name!”. He downs the glass and gets very quiet and pale. “Well…” asks the Asura. “This was too strong for me…” replied the Sylvari as he suddenly combused into flames. The charr let out a loud growl and said: “ARGH, I DON’T LIKE MY VEGETABLES ROASTED!”
    jesper.reserv@gmail.com

  • Amber

    An asura, sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar. After enjoying a round of beers together the asura turns to the charr and says, “I challenge you to a drinking game. Whoever holds their liquor longest gets to take the lovely sylvari on a date.” The charr laughs and says, “You think you can beat me? I am the biggest one here. You’re nothing but a lightweight.” The asura smirks and says, “There is one stipulation. I get to choose the next round of drinks.” The charr and sylvari agree. The asura walks up to the bar and orders up three light beers. He brings them back to the table. The charr laughs, “You can order up any drink, and you come back with a light beer? I thought you asurans were supposed to be smart!” He downs the beer. The sylvari politely says, “What do you have up your sleeve this time?” The asura winks at her and slams his beer. He then turns to the charr and says, “You don’t look so hot tough guy. How do you feel?” The charr stands up and staggers to the bathroom, laughing uncontrollably. The asura turns to the sylvari and says, “So how do you feel about a date?” The sylvari bats her eyes and flirtatiously says, “I would be honored.” The bartender calls the asura to come back over to the bar and says, “I’ve been watching you. What did you do to win this challenge?” They asura laughs and says, “Oh you know, just a special tonic for each drink. A little cat nip for the charr, and some fertalizer for the sylvari here. Knowledge is Power!” 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=517680724 Cody Barnes

    They drink heavily for awhile and before they know it, their tab has outgrown their coin. “I’ll use my ferocity to get us a discount” Says the Charr. “No! You might get us kicked out of here!” The Sylvari says, “Let me use my charm on him.”

    “Charm?” Scoffs the Asura, “Like a bartender hasnt seen that trick before, no, what we need is my cunning!” The Charr and Sylvari nod and agreement as the Asura heads to the counter. “They’re paying.” he says, walking out the door.

    dainzero@yahoo.com

  • DarkHorux

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, suddenly the charr strikes down the unsuspecting asura.
    - Why have you done such a thing?! – asked the sylvari.
    - Doctor’s orders! He told me next time I went to a bar I should “cut down” so I did…

    r-vyper@hotmail.com

  • Solanylander

    and the slyvari orders a drink. after the first sip the asura asks if shes feeling ok because she looks a bit green. she slaps him and proceeds to call him a LITTLE s**t.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michał-Tarasiuk/100003798820575 Michał Tarasiuk

     An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into bar.
    You probably thought that this Asura was alive and this Sylvari was alive and this Charr was alive. Nope it’s Chuck Testa.

  • Forrest Maxwell

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar, The Asura said to the Charr “I’m glad I brought my Sylvari friend, KITTIES LOVE LEAVES @_@”

  • Theprinceofegypt1990

    Give me the key

  • Jnifty

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar, or at least that’s what they tell their friends. The Norn who was holding the metal bar has a different story.

  • Darklexic

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.-And the bartender looks at them, and says: The class trainers aren`t here lads, this isn`t Goldshire

  • Ubermacho

    an asura, sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar…

    The sylvari gets hit in the face, the charr in the chest, and the asura completely misses.

  • Sam

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… dust traps will do that

  • Mark

    asura, sylvari order 2 beers ! the char said “Give me a large Gin and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tonic.

  • Jbailey1

    A sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. They both say “ow!”. The Asura looks up to see what all the fuss is about.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kraig-Winfield/743472463 Kraig Winfield

    An Asura, Sylvari and Charr walk into the bar. The bartender glared at the new arrivals, a smirk enveloping his face.
    “Well if it isn’t the cast of The Lion, the Birch and the Shortrobe.”

    exanrecovery@gmail.com

  • Yoghi Ok

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. After drinking for a while, the asura goes to the bartender and tells him “I bet you a thousand gold that i can piss into that glass 10 meters from here without missing”. The bartender thinking that it’s impossible accepts de deal. So the asura starts pissing the customers, the chairs, even the bartender, he pisses on everything except the glass. When he finished, the bartender is really happy, cos he won. The asura asks him why is he so happy, he just got his entire bar pissed, and the bartender says “I just won a thousand gold dude, why are YOU so happy about it, you just lost a thousand gold.” and the asura says to him “Do you see the sylvari and the charr over there? Well i betted them 5 thousand gold that i could piss on your entire bar and you would be happy about it.”

  • Uragan

    Asura, Sylvari and charr walk into a bar and suddenly a misterious man asks the guys wispering with a darkish voice “Hey u wana know a secret?” , all replied  “yes why not since we’re bored we might hear something interesting”….and the misterious man says  “Huehue i’ll tell you next week haha”

  • JohnnyTheKing

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… when suddenly Charr turns around and yells: Wait a second.. the Sylvari doesnt belong here, and where for god sake is that damn Norn?!

  • Leon Brand

    An asura,sylvari and a charr walked into a bar. But the asura needed to retourn at home cause he forgott the joke.

  • Kyle

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… The Bartender asks what can I do you for, the Sylvari replies I have a porn star, the asura replies bud light, and the charr replies I have smirroff. The bartender servers the Asura and the Charr their drinks, the Sylvari replies where’s mine? the Bartender replies she’s right behind you.

  • Ashai

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… trip, fall, and the human and norn share a grin.

  • Thaistyle1985

    An asura, sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar. after few drinks they start to argue about their spouses. the bartender overheard them talking so he ask, “I have always been curious”, “How did you know which one is male”?

  • Dimitris Efstathiadis

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, to have a break from playing Guild Wars 2 all day long!

  • Ben King

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    The charr notices the human bartender.
    “I’ll have a beer, fleshling” says the Charr.
    “Hey there is no need for you talk to me like that. How would you like it if I talked like that to you?” says the human.
    “Why don’t we swap places and find out?” says the charr.
    The char and human swap places.
    The human  walks up beside the asura and sylvari to the charr who is now behind the bar and says “Hey you beast, give me a beer!”.
    The charr replies back with “Sorry we don’t server fleshlings, midgets or tree huggers here!”

  • kew

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar on a rainy day. Why? Because they didn’t have no internet to play GW2 :(

  • DJ.Nels

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar…
    Discussing the drinking achievement…
    Charr: “I’m just not sure that the achievement is as hard as it used to be.”
    Sylvari: “yeah, I seem to not be affected as much, what do you think?”
    The Sylvari and Charr turn to the Asuran.
    Asura: “I don’t know about you guys, but I asuran drunk!” 

  • http://twitter.com/oamorozov Oleg Morozov

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and a bartender says: “sorry, guys, only charr, humans and norn are allowed in the bar during this beta test”

  • Ben King

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    The charr notices the human bartender.
    “I’ll have a beer, fleshling” says the Charr.
    “Hey there is no need for you talk to me like that. How would you like it if I talked like that to you?” says the human.
    “Why don’t we swap places and find out?” says the charr.
    The char and human swap places.
    The human  walks up beside the asura and sylvari to the charr who is now behind the bar and says “Hey you beast, give me a beer!”.
    The charr replies back with “Sorry we don’t server fleshlings, midgets or tree huggers here!”

    • Knightmame

       In a thread of horrible jokes, very awkward attempts at English, and large lack of knowledge, I think you are the only beacon of light. That was the first good joke I’ve seen. xD

  • ojama89

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… As they reach to the bartender the asura said to him “I’ll have a Hard apple cider”. While the charr order aged hunter’s ale and the sylvari a bottle of rice wine. The charr turns to the sylvari and said “why didnt you order the usual… battle of iced tea?” The sylvari turned and said to him “I just found out how its made.”         

  • Kr[A]k3n

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…..
    Asura: guys we are born intelligent as hell!!!
    Charr: bitch please we are born strong as hell!!!
    Sylvari: bitch please we are NOT BORN!!!!

  • Velzak

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.  The White Mantle killed them all. The End.

  • Paladin1127

    The human ducks

  • Mike Nguyen

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.

    They are all adventurers, and their home are far.

    During the drinking section, one stands and shouts:

    Let us go, and play the next Guild Wars.
     

  • Vicarious

    “An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…”
    And the charr goes like: “Wtf are we doing in the real world?”
    And so they disappear into oblivion

  • swoonz

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… Only the charr walks out

  • Kallassakura

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…all 3 sat next to each other and ordered a drink from the Human bartender. “Rum!” The asura and Charr shouted spontaneously. “Morning dew.” the Sylvari said. Both the Asura and the Charr laughed at the Sylvari. All 3 got there drinks and took a shot, if you can consider “Morning dew” a slot. The charr raised his arms and shouted.”Its good to be here! Soon we will be able to do battle! Even against other worlds! Did you know that? The sounds of guns and cannons shall roar again!” The Asura waged his fingers at the Charr. “Nu uh, Our golems and spells will be the ones to win the fight. Using your brain is alot more effective than using your muscle.” The Slyvari put his head down in a almost psychotic way. “No…you’re both wrong.” he murmured. The Charr and the Asura looked at him. “We will be invaded by countless individuals just to be mind controlled for there own amusement and be given random names that see fit to them. They will make us fight and even though some will do right others will do wrong. The world will soon be full of these individuals and only time will tell when they will actually get here. The clock is ticking…” the Sylvari said in a panic. The Charr and Asure exchanged looks, then bursted out laughing. “Bartender! I want what hes having!” The Charr yelled. “Same!” also said the Asura.

  • Olgerkhan.9607

     An Asura, a Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar built way out in the
    barrens of the Shiverpeaks.  The Asura turns to the Charr and says,
    “It’s freezing in here.  Make yourself useful and build us a fire!”  The
    Charr scratches its chin and grunts, “”Where am i gonna find any wood
    around here, short one?”  Without saying a word to either of the other
    two, the Sylvari gets up and leaves….

  • http://twitter.com/Angelic009 Christine Balog

    And Asura, Sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar… The Asura turns to the other two and says “excelent, a slave and a research specimen!”

  • Samuel CONRAD

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and scream “IT’S US!”… but it was not them.

  • Dennis

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar to take a drink. They took one beer after the other. When they finally got drunk they began to fight. The charr take his bow and fires at the asura which activates his roboter,which atacks the sylvari which is hiting the charr.

  • De_man_95

     and the sylvani says to the char sorry no pets allowed so what “charr” (you’re) doing here?

  • Neal

    and they drown their sorrows in alcohol because none of them have a GW2 beta key. The end.

  • http://www.facebook.com/erohir Oláh Dániel

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… They are leaving a gaybar.

  • BeSaR

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.
    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into second bar.
    An asura and a charr walk into third bar.
    An asura and a charr walk into fourth bar.
    An asura,and a charr walk into fifth bar.
    An charr walk into sixth bar.
    An charr walk into Black Citadel for better friends.

  • Gegabyte

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… n. Its on fire. A Panda saves them.

  • Pasos

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and talk about upcoming event….asura: I want to tell you something about GoT 
    sylvari: Oh boy….
    charr:Whats up? I didnt listened to you i just heard a song A rain of Castamere in my head.

  • Avedon

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar to celebrate a victory, after seeing a tauren, couple of gnomes and all sorts of elves they realized their battle is not yet over. Thus began the battle for middle earth.

  • Ragnok Famun

    An Asuran, a Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar.
    They try out the environmental weapons and get kicked out for causing seven bar fights in the last hour. In that same bar.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Raido-Oras/100001441322501 Raido Oras

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar.
    After slaying nearly 20000 centaurs in a single day, they all thirst for a great drink.
    The Asura orders scotch on the rocks, Sylvari quickly follows up with a pint of beer.
    The Charr orders an appletini, Asura and Sylvari both burst out in laughter, barely able to speak, they ask “What are you, a woman?”.
    Charr calmly replies, why yes, yes I am. Can’t you tell?

  • Okhjeltnes

    They wanted a martini, a rootbeer and bottle of vodka. witch one wanted what?

  • AaliyahisDAbest

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… -enter witty asura, sylvari and charr related joke here-

  • Bagotee

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and asura goes “Is this the real life?” charr says ‘is this just fantasy?’ and the sylvari ‘caught in a landslide no escape from reality’

  • Franz Reid

    Asura, Sylvari and charr walk into a bar. A Norn walks out.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Derek-Henson/100000883017279 Derek Henson

    Yoghi Ok and Cody Barnes DESERVE TO WIN! Those comments made me lmao irl! hahaha

  • Arkives

    A Ship is sinking, a Charr, an Asura and a Sylvari are on the ship. 

    Suddenly the Sylvari has a panic attack and strips off all of her armor and says:
    “Someone please make me feel like a woman! I don’t want to die without having my wishes full-filled!”The charr takes off his tunic and says:”Here, iron this…” The Asura pitches in and says:”While you’re at it, make us salad.”

    • aaron

      cute jokes. can i just have a key? please and thank you.

  • Mudluvbunny

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar; each with a troubled look on his face. As the sappy bunch trudges up to the counter, the bartender turns to them and exclaims, “You guys look terrible!” As the bartender gets them their drinks, he listens to their tales of woe.The Asura, an Elementalist pipes up first. “Everyone makes fun of me because I’m short. I should be talking down to them because of how intelligent I am! I should be th…”The Charr, a Mesmer, interrupts, “I have these weird clones that follow me everywhere! And whenever I try to convince people the clones are real, they explode into pink butterflies! I think I might be going mad.”The Sylvari adds in, “I keep finding Mantis in my hair.”After listening to they’re story, he shakes his head saying, “You guys think you have it tough? Look over there.” He points to a dark corner of the bar; A depressed drunken human sits drinking away his troubles. “See that sad sack a bones over there in the shadowy corner? He has a wife and 4 kids to take care of. He lost his job, and now no one will hire him. His name is ‘XxEpic HealzxX’. He just maxed his drunkard’s title tonight.

  • Sergei0106

    The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this, a meta-joke?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/SasAlexander Ecsedi Sándor

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, and nothing happens. You thought it would be a racist joke? Your bad. (anti-joke chicken stíle :D)

  • http://twitter.com/kyleplz richard

    An asura, slyvari and a charr walk into a bar..
    Then they decide that drinking is too boring and go back to swinging swords. And they swung em. He-Heey, they swung em again!

  • Jhusband

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.  The bar tender looks up and asks is this some kind of a joke?

  • Wow_act

    …then the bantender asked “Hey where did you got that pet?”, all 3 answer at the same time:
    Asura: Black Citadel
    Char: A grove
    Sylvary: Rata sum

    Bartender: I was asking the ranger wich enter just before.

  • http://twitter.com/Noze182 Nico Wedemeier

    Why does the Asura speak to the Charr? -Because the Charr is CHARRming. xD 

  • Elliot Kotis

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the charr smashing the bar, the asuran smacks into it and KO’s himself and the sylvari  looks at it and it melts because its so hot 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001467741462 Menno van Brandenburg

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    The barmaid comes over
    to the Charr and says “We don’t serve your kind.” He roars and leaves.
    She walks to the Asura and pats him on the head “We don’t serve your
    kind.” He frowns and leaves. The Sylvari greets the barmaid, “And do you
    serve my kind?” The barmaid smiles and almost can’t contain her
    excitement, “Yes, yes we do. And our shipment hasn’t come in. Your kind
    we do serve,” she exclaims as she points to the big all you can eat
    salad bar, “You should be enough to fill the bar for a week.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/logan.leverson Logan Leverson

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… a norn comes over and asks, “Why are the three of you on the ground?

  • Garygoetz1289

    An asura, charr and a Sylvari walk into a bar

    The Asura says: “I have the biggest ears of the World”

    The Sylvari says: “I have the thinnest body of the world”

    The Charr says: “I have the biggest cock of the world”

    They go to the Guinness World Records

    The Asura comes back and says: “I have really the biggest ears of the world”

    The Sylvari comes back and says: “Cool, I have the thinnest body of the world”

    The Charr comes back angrily: “Shit, Chuck Norris was here before -.-”

  • Phil Shaw

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and order a round. 

    “Sure” says the bartender, “but first I’m gonna have to see some ID.”

    Well, the charr starts to make some excuse about not having pockets, and the asura starts grumbling something about profiling, but the sylvari just scratches her head and asks “Since when does the Black Citadel have a drinking age?”

    To which the bartender replies “We don’t, but ever since that incident last week, the legionaries have been cracking down on distribution of environmental weapons.”  

  • Kennen

    Ouch!

  • Winter Glenn

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the sylvari said to the charr why the long face? The Asura chipped in, somethings gotta be long…

  • Luizxp

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…. to drink beer and forget the fight with his girlfriends

  • http://twitter.com/PhilKOfficial Phil Kuhnke

    An Asura,
    Sylvari and Charr walk into the bar.
    They all have photos of their favorite things with them as they want to get to
    know a human who went on an adventure with them earlier.
    The human is already sitting at a table and welcomes them warmly. After looking
    at the pictures for a while, he asks the Asura: “This must be your turtle,
    right?”. The Asura replies: “Noo, that’s my house!”. The human
    is astounded but then asks the Sylvari: “Is this your favorite
    plant?” and the Sylvari answers: “Noo, that’s my house!”. The
    human, now immensely startled, finally talks to the Charr: “Now what’s
    this hairy, ugly beast? Don’t tell me that’s your “house” too!”
    and the Charr replies: “No, that is my wife and you sir, are dead!”.

    https://twitter.com/#!/PhilKOfficial

  • Michi

    Sylvari knocks on door. *knock* *knock*
    Asura: Who’s there?
    Sylvari: Me.

  • Gunn

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…Because you can actually play as those races now.

  • Eck Mayday

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar to talk to a pretty lady. After a short conversation, a group of humans turn into zombies behind our heroes. The zombies one shot our champions of Tyria. And thats how we died in Hardcore Inferno.

  • Rilkean Heart

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar.  The bartender sighs and shakes his head and says…”Damn, forgot the GW2 release party was today”.

  • FLuRrD

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and ordered 3 buttermilk. The bartender replied, ‘you missed the sign on the door?”No dwarves, pets or vegetables will be served in the queensdale bars as long as they can not show their mothers that are over 300 years old’

  • Henri

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the sylvari dies..

  • Chigit

    Human: Okay so an asura, sylvari and a cow walk into a bar…
    Charr: FOR THE LAST TIME I’M NOT A COW, IMMA …CHARRR…and and IMMA BEAST.
    Asura and Sylvari: These bars…..black magic bars our way :{. Let us out!
    Charr: Teehee, maybe next Beta Weekend folks. Now lemme have a BEER!
    Human: Cheers!
    Norn: What ’bout me?! :O

  • Dlife99

    An asura, sylvari and charr walk into the bar…the asuran says to the human bartender ” I require a dark liquid with multiple ingredients that when imbibed will make me feel invicible, is that too much to ask for a over-achiever like yourself.  The bartender slams down a mug of ale and says…”ale”..the asura replies…but “ALE!” the bartender replies and walks away. The sylvari politely asks for a glass of water and a salad…..hhmmmmpppf “you are what you eat the bartender replies.”  The Charr orders an ale and drinks the flagon in one shot….”You call this human water Ale! I have battled 1000 centaurs and you serve me this water!” Get me something worthy of me that will allow me to revel in my day of glory, something that will allow me to a reach a higher level of intoxication…The bartender throws the Charr a ball of catnip and walks away.

  • LiM

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar,
    after awhile they leave the bar drunk as hell and started to walk on the rails.After the first few steps Sylvary says:
    “I do not understand why are stairs today so apart”
    After a while Charr complains:
    “How is this fence built so low …”
    Over time, the Asura says:
    “End of problem! Elevator has come!”

  • Wiliz

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.Waiter, wine!
    Red or white?
    Never mind, we are colorblind.

  • http://twitter.com/pjprime PJ Mallari

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the bartender yells, “Hey! Didn’t you read sign?!”  The asura looks at the charr, and charr looks at the sylvari.  The bartender yells again, “No pets allowed!”   

  • Graytalon

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.  The owner looks over and says, “Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit drinking.

  • http://www.facebook.com/victor.russon Victor Russon

    An Asura, a Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar.  The Barkeep asks each what they want to eat and drink.  They each order until it gets to the Charr, who simply looks at the barkeep and orders a flagon of ale.  The barkeep asks curiously, “What about your food?” and the Charr barks out a laugh before exclaiming, “Why would I need food?  I have the Meat and salad course right here!”

  • Alexander

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar:and the barkeep says: by the seven gates! i must stop drinking while playing….

  • http://twitter.com/pjprime PJ Mallari

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the bartender yells,
    “Hey! Didn’t you read sign?!”  The asura looks at the charr, and the charr
    looks at the sylvari.  The bartender yells again, “No pets allowed!”   

  • Semir Sa

    an aura, sylvary and charr walk into a bar and order a drink, drink it, and then walk out of the bar

  • Jhusband

    An
    asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… they are in a heated conversation
    on whose race is “the best.” The Asura speak at length using words
    most have never heard before about how their race is clearly the smartest. The
    Sylvari counters with a long winded monologue on the wisdom of the trees. The
    Char grunts and looks hungrily at the Asura wondering if he’ll make a good bar
    food snack.

    The human
    behind the bar smiles and says humans are the sneakiest then pulls the hidden
    lever to the trap door causing the Asura, Sylvari and Charr to fall into a pit
    of ancient crocodiles.

  • Nathoun

    A man goes into a coffee and *plouf*

    • Nathoun

      An Asura a Charr goes into a coffee and “plouf” 

      Ps: sorry for the double post… Fail joke

  • Bryce Manso

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…well, actually the asura is too short and just walks under it.

  • Andicus

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and encounter a massive troll wrecking the place.
    The charr turns to the other two and says, “Which of you wants to be the tank”

  • http://twitter.com/imAnneClaire Anne-Claire

    Charr: What a boring bar(r)
    Asura: Why, what’s up with it?
    “Its too clean,” said the charr while wiping a vine out of his face. “Too plant-y aswell.”
    Sylvari: Hey, thats my arm!

  • http://twitter.com/Leonic19 Leonic

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, and the bartender says ” Hey since when does Yoga, a flower and the guy from beauty and the beast match all together ? They answer : ” Well you havent seen nothing yet, wait until you see a Norn … “

  • ChexMix

    An Asura,Sylvari,and Charr walked into a bar. The Sylvari and Charr said ouch. The Asura just walked under it.

  • Cyberghost47

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…all 3 of them order 15 pints of ale each and make a bet that the one that can finish all 15 pints gets a beta key.the asura make it to 5 and passes out.the sylvari drinks 8 then passes out.they charr drinks all 15 of his pints and the leftovers of the asura and the sylvari, when the bartender hands him the beta key he runs home and auctions it off on ebay because he pre-orderd :)

  • Flame

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and find a strange setting: instead of a single counter, there are four different kegs: one for Firewhisky, one for Ale, one for Cider and one for Punch.

    They all shuffle in to the keg marked “Firewhisky”, but the line is huge. They wait and wait and wait some more. Finally, the Charr roars:

    “I’m sick of this! Lets go for the Ale!”

    And they all switch to the Ale keg. But the line is still huge, so they wait and wait and wait and keep waiting… Eventually, the Asuran cuts in:

    “This is ridiculous, we should try the Cider”

    And so they moodily move over to the Cider Keg. The line is still very long. So they wait and wait and wait and wait… and wait and… you get the picture.

    “This is unbelievable, nobody even likes Cider!” The Sylvari whines.

    And so they sadly shuffle over to the fourth keg and, over three hours into this joke, finally realize that there is no Punch line.

  • Baerpr22

    A blizzard employee walks into an arena net bar, decides he has to use the bathroom , walks into the stall and written on the wall says, “The joke is at your place of employment.”

  • Ezra

    An asura, sylvari, and a char walk into a bar.  The human chuckles and walks underneath.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Charles-Carter/100003853919257 Charles Carter

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… The asura orders a Blue Lagoon, the sylvari a Grasshopper and the charr a Red Lion of course.

  • Roi2860

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the Bartender asks the charr: “Hey, why the long face?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1302481445 Brenden Ortiz

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    The asura uses a torch to cut it down.
    The sylvari calls upon the wrath of nature to knock it down.
    The charr, “Ow.”

  • Jonny christian

    An asura, a sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The charr says to the asura “why are you doing that?” the asura replys “i dont know, someone please help me, i cant stop jumping and dancing with the sylvari, its like im being controlled by someone else! And where the hell did my clothes disappear to”

  • Alkyonts

    The blizzard employe walks in the GW2 bar and immediately go to the bathroom. He right click on toilet to auto pee when pop up message says: “This is not how it works in GW2″

  • http://www.facebook.com/brice.cairo Brice Cairo

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar :Charr : WHERE IS MY BEER ??
    Azura : WHERE IS MY PUNCH ??
    Sylvaris : Plz where is my Royal Kir ?

    Charr and Azura : WTF ?! He is Gay for sure !

  • http://twitter.com/pjprime PJ Mallari

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the bartender says,
    “My! What big teeth you have?’  The charr then replies, “Thanks! Sad day to be carnivore, but great day to be a vegan!”        

  • Carterboy347

    The Charr orders a short salad. ba-dud-ting

  • Vira-spenta

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… they see a dwarf Norn….oh wait, it’s a human!!!

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  • Nickjam19

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and when they enter a commando class human shot the charr in the arm.
    The charr screams “Ah, It hurts, heal me! heal me!”
    The norn bartender comes along and says “Hahahaha we don’t have hospitals in this country”
    The asura and the sylvari leaf while laughing at the charr.

  • Roi2860

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the barternder says “What is this, some kind of joke?”

  • Gumis1315

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and forgot what they wanted. pff

  • Biode

    An asura, sylvari, and a char walk into a bar; the bartender looks to each one in turn, frowns, and says “I cannot serve you three.”  The three look at each other and ask “Why not?”  The bartender replies, “the asura already thinks he has a vastly superior intellect and I cannot stand them being ever more boisterous about it as they imbibe copious amounts of alcohol.  And I cannot serve the charr because they are apt to get in fights when they drink.”  After a short pause, the three ask, “What about the sylvari?”  The bartender replies, “Those sylvari folk aren’t old enough to have any real troubles yet.”

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  • http://twitter.com/pjprime PJ Mallari

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the bartender screams,
    “Ahhh!  Get that thing away from me!?” The charr apologize, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.”  The bartender then says,  “Not you!  That!” (pointing at the asura)  “Treasure Trolls scare me!” 

  • Mr Flamer

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and then shortly afterwards took arrows to their knees

  • http://twitter.com/Kyobusa Jack Liu

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The sylvari and charr gets injured while the asura continues to walk along.
     

  • Jacob Leslie

    But then a Human and Norn sitting in the corner notice the Charr is really by himself because Asura and Sylvari don’t exist yet.

  • Kaspar

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… You think one of them would’ve seen it.

  • Bachbooch

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…(after they got drunk)
    charr told the sylvari (pointing to group of flowers ): are these your sisters.
    sylvari replayed : hahahaha u silly little cat.
    asura : can i pet u charry.
    charr (angry) : can i eat u asurazzzz

  • Olovins

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… The Asure goes “No.. I’m not their kid, and yes I’m old enough to be here.” The Sylvari see’s that the bar is decorated in a forest theme, and sees a tree decoration and walks up to it and goes “Mother!? I thought you didn’t drink?” And well the Charr sits back and laughs at the Syvari, because he’s a mesmer and made the tree look like the Syvari’s mother.

  • http://twitter.com/Alanman13 Alan Tenore

    Gonna play on Roi2860′s joke:
    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the Bartender asks the charr: “Hey, why the long face?” To which the charr rips the bartender to pieces.  I’ve never seen a charr smile so big.

  • Gaby_redX

    An Asura, a sylvari and a charr walk into a bar:

    The sylvari asks the bartender for a glass of wine.The bartender gives the sylvari his order.

    The Charr orderes some whiskey. Imediately the norn bartender gets his order.

    Last the asura orders his golem to be parked!

  • Akkonstantinou

    …and the barman says to the Charr “We don’t serve the playable races around here”.

  • Lubieruskie

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar
    The Bartender asks the charr:
    “Nice and balaced diet you got there huh”

  • Z A Y T H

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the Asura in unharmed.

  • Luke Cama

    An asura, sylvari, and a char walk into a bar.
    The barman asks – “why the small, why the leafy and why the furry face?”.

  • AltairTheI

    An asura, sylvari, and charr walk into a bar. After an immensely graphic bar fight over who could drink the most, no one was left standing. It really was a sad story.

  • XtremePyroSonic

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    And asked for a drink but instead got rejected. Apparently cats and weeds aren’t allowed in and the asura was seen as an alien midget and was captured.

  • Hitler

     An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar and see a bunch of human NAZI’s putting Charr’s into the oven for 15 minutes, after they come out the NAZI’s scream “you’ve been CHARRED”, The Asura and Charr make a run for it, the Sylvari stays in and ask’s how can i help they say “get the Charr!” the Asura wanting to live trips the Charr and escapes. The Sylvari ties up the Charr, and put’s some Sylvarian seasoning on his head!

  • Jayaar

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. “OUCH!”

  • George

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar, they sit in front of the bar and the Asura says: Hey bartender, wanna hear a joke? What happens when you mix an Asura, a Charr and a Sylvari toghether? An Asarri… heheheCharr: What a horrible joke, listen to mine. Why did the Sylvari cross the road? To meet his friends and make a salad…. lolSylvari: You guys suck at jokes, just pay attention to me now. Where does the Asura post it’s jokes? at Horridjokes.com ….. What, wasn’t it funny?The bartender says terrified: Guys, there are two stand-up comedians behind you, you have five seconds to get the hell out of here. 

  • Roi2860

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and leave after a few beats.

  • Shadowcrazy

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…I could’ve given them a heads up, but then I wouldn’t have been able to watch them walk face first into the bar…

  • http://www.facebook.com/ninjawilliamson Joey Williamson

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, and then you get a cutscene and the world is in ruins.

  • JellyPie

    An asura, a sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar and the bartender can’t serve them cause sylvari aren’t old enough to legally drink.

  • Roi2860

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a barrel and choke to death.

  • vellan

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… The asura does not survive the night. Why? He ordered salad and a hamburger.

  • Disgustedinlawrence

    AN Asura,Sylvari,and a Charr walked into a bar …….The Charr decides to leave …. he notice’s that his horse’s testicles have been painted yellow…..the Charr storms back into the Bar and Yells “I want to know right now who painted my Horse’s Testicles Yellow!!!!!!…….The Big Human on the other side of the Bar stands up and Yells “I DID !!!!!” ……..the Charr then in fear Replied …..”I just wanted to let you know the first coats Dry ……..”

  • Eiffel

     they sit down at a table …. but where is their drink

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001684783833 Balázs Kétyi

    And the barman says: A plant, a cat and a goblin… mmm interesting day.

  • Sverre D Hop

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the aura asks the sylviar and the charr. -You were on the Justin Bieber consert? -Why it’s just a beaver, they replied.

  • Hugo

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and get drunk as hell!(Simple but truthful ahah)

  • duck

    an asura,sylvari and a charr wakl into a bar the said to the bartender:”give us some drinks”.bartender says:”nope”.charr asks why not.bartender:”get me first some ingerts”(not good engilsh).so the asura,sylvari and charr went local store.asura buyed berd,sylvari buyed potato and charr buyed alcohlic.they asked why charr buyed that.charr:”cuz im so wise”.so then asura and sylvari start to laugh.so they go to back to bar and give the ingetrs.first asura.bartender thowrs the berd onto asura`s face and laughed.then sylvari give the potato.bartender gives him tennisrocket.the charr.bartender gives him fruit.why?cuz it sssssssssssssssooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fruiti juice XD

  • Roi2860

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, they barely barged the barbed barrier that barred the way in!

  • Baffolou

    The norn beartender looks up and says, “Get out of my bar”.

  • ABED

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…and noticed that the Norn drunk all the beer!!!!

  • Nallorusk

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…all three of them get a little tipsy, and as they get out the charr proposes a challenge. “Hey I bet I can get to the top of that tower faster that any of you because I am a charr.” The sylvari and the asura accept the challenge. The sylvari get there slowly and the charr gets up there a little faster. Convinced that the small asura wouldn’t beat him the charr began boasting “No one can beat a charr”. The asura turns to both of them: “Hey! while you were boasting I’m already up her.” The charr and sylvari looked down in disbelief and saw the asuras gigantic robot with its arm extended. The asura replied” What? You never said how you wanted it to be done xD” 

  • http://twitter.com/Ryndaris ryndaris

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. A waitress approaches their table and asks the charr: »The usual?« The charr glances at his companions and replies: »Yes, but let’s throw some greens in there this time.«

  • Bastienre4

    I used to be a Norn, then i took an arrow in the knee.
    Im Asura now.

  • http://twitter.com/jansimecik Jan Simecik

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and confused barman says: “Is this some kind of joke or …?”

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/DOOEQZUAUX2ZQNWQEHMOEKOPO4 Xgameon

    An asura, sylvari, and a char walk into a bar… and you think the sylvari and charr would have learned to move left after seeing the asura walk into it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/MasterofAeons Sal Makar

    One day in Dalaran, an asura, sylvari and a char walk into The Filthy Animal for a drink. After a few drunken exchanged tales, everyone logs out with them and leaves Barmaid Mimbihi penniless – the bar had been raised.

  • http://twitter.com/HUEHUHEUHEHUE MegaTran

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and order some beer as a reward for defeating the mighty Zhaitan. Their well-deserved reward is served. Kormir appears and takes it. That swine.

  • Helloimamole

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. Suddenly, they realize it’s beta weekend! The charr dutifully rushes back to work, to please the eager beta testers, but the other two take a seat by the bardisk – seemingly without a care in the world. The bartender (who, by the way, secretly took time off from work to betatest this highly anticipated game), clearly upset, exclaims “Aha! So this is where you were you were hiding!”

  • Gadino

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar. The Asura spent 30 gold, The Sylvari spent 50 gold and Charr had a very pleasant evening indeed.

  • Dozzer

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into the charr
    bar, the Scratching Post, and each order a flask of firewater. The bartender,
    Pyre Fiercesho,t turns to the asura and sylvari and says “I’m sorry, we don’t
    serve food here.

    • George

      I thought it was 
      An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…  not a Charr bar

  • MisterPistachio

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… the bartender asks, “How’s the questing going out in Azeroth?” The three look at eachother confused, and say to him, “We’re in Tyria…” The bartender looked at them embarrassed and said, “Man, I’ve got to get out of this bar more.”

  • 1JWC55

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…The sylvari walks up to the bar to order their drinks.The human barkeep turns around as he sit’s three drinks in front of them.The asura drinks his down fast,getting drunk he starts channting numbers & facts.The sylvari listens with unwavering attention.The charr is in a feverish wave of picking at his madded up hair,the barkeeps ask the charr is everything alright? Charr replies things would be fine just got to get these dam bingleberrys out of my hair. 

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  • http://www.facebook.com/Zredle Andrew Elder

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Char walk into a bar after saving the world from dragons, they find a seat and order a Pint, they start to share their battle stories. When the Norn bartender asks “but weren’t there any Humans in this battle”, and they all reply with “humans? who rolled a human.. i played a human for 6 years in the first guild wars”. They all laugh.

  • http://www.facebook.com/tamasi.gergo Gergő Tamási

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… I want to live on that planet!

  • http://Nightmaresofwar.enjin.com/ Sentient Number Six

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… I mean, a sylvari and charr walk into a bar.  The asura walked under it.

  • heulwen

    an asura, sylvari and a charr walked into a bar,they had a great banter…..yeah what else do you think was going to happen.

  • lhagara

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar, they split up for the night and in the morning the Asura and Sylvari are looking for the Charr. They meet him after a while, but he is missing an arm and eye. “What the hell happened to you?” “Ah well, i bet my eye that those centaur guys couldn’t tear off my arm.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/evan.albitz Evan Albitz

    An Asura, Sylvari, and Charr walk into a bar. My what a well integrated community

  • ShaneNasium

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. A human priest is up on a box preaching and offering to run dungeons as healer for gold. The charr struts over and backhands him across the face.
    Human: “what was that for?”
    Charr (menacingly): “we don’t need you anymore. We can heal ourselves. Go back to WOW from whence you came!”
    The asura and salvari nod in approval.

  • http://twitter.com/Whassisname Goober

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar and … *loading*

  • Wyhodujmy Motyle

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, but their skillbars were full so they have to add new one…

  • Aznsinjulian

    An asura, sylvari and a char walk into a bar…
    The bar is totally trashed and there is no drinks left.
    The char says that they should get high back at his place.
    The sylvari suggests they use his new special plant he found.
    The asura insists that they use his new invention, the Bong.

  • Kimfischer555

    The asura, the sylvari and the charr sit down. The bartender looks at the Charr who proceeds to mean-mug him. “Is your friend gonna hit me?” he asks the Sylvari.
    “No.” was the reply.
    A few minutes later after handing a mug to the Charr the Charr gets up and punches him in the face. “I thought you said he wasn’t gonna hit me!” the man said indignantly.
     ”He’s not my friend.” The Sylvari replies. 

    • Kimfischer555
    • Ilesyt

      An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…All 3 order a drink,but the asura and charr start fighting,
      And the sylvari drinks up their drinks and leaves without paying,
      so the asura and charr are left to pay.

  • immortalityx

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and an innkeeper yells Hey its the edge of des… wait where is the norn and human i’ve heard about? the charr goes well the norn is getting drunk and boasting about all her victories and the human well, he is being a kiss ass to his queen. the bartender looks over the charrs shoulder scared, the charr turns around and sees zaitan out the window, charr looks pist walks out side and yells: HEY ZAITAN NOT NOW OK? I JUST GOT DONE FIGHTING YOUR MINIONS JUST GIVE ME A 5 MINUTE BREAK FOR GRENTH’S SAKE!, zaitan stare’s at him, then he said: shudent there be 5 of you? the charr give’s him a fierce look and then walks back in the tavern, the innkeeper says to him: arent you going to fight him? charr goes: well…. no handle your own problems im done.

  • Matt

    An asura, charr and sylvari walk into the bar. The bartender asks them what they’d like. The warrior charr orders a bloody mary to commemorate his bloody victories, the asura orders a the finest vintage as a reflection of her sophistication, when it is the sylvari’s turn to order the bartender says “Let me guess, a mojito? A mint julep?”
    “Oh, nothing for me” says the sylvari. “I was just leaving. “

  • http://twitter.com/Nhq_qhN KG

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.
    When naked human starts to yell: “No way, there is no spoon” 

  • http://www.facebook.com/Dr.Dorkness Lars van Weert

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The silvari says “Lets sit at the window.” The asura and the charr look at the silvari strangely. “Why?” The Charr askes. the silvari anwsers: “So I can eat too.”

  • Mikechen98

    An asura, sylvari and a charr wlk into a bar. The Asura and charr chug down some beer and the sylvari cries. When asked why, the sylvari says,” That was my brother”

  • holycowbbq

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…they all wanted some cold beer after a long fight in the world vs world. However, none of the got their alcohol, because asura is an underaged kid, sylvari can only drink water for photosynthesis, and charr gave the beer to another female charr because of his animal “instinct”.

  • SwiftAdz

    An Asuran, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar…. Shame it wasn’t any ordinary bar turns out it was a killer bar of DHUUUUUUUUM! They died sadly apart from the Asuran since he was too small to walk into it.

  • Nettechgeeknerd

    An asura, a sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar the charr mumbles to the sylvari, “har, hwo but wew et teh rirst round?”. The sylvari replies, “how bout you take that asura out of your mouth, so i can understand you.”

  • Nekroh

    And create a new boys band : asurapper, sylvarythm and chaardrocker

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1361982333 Jimmi Jensen

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walked into a bar
    The bartender said: i got this new drink that will make you feel like you’re in heaven.The Charr said yes and got his drink
    The Asura said yes and got his drink
    The Sylvari said no, and all 3 of them looked at him and asked why not?
    i like my feets planted on the ground he said.

  • Koumori

    And seeing the potential danger in the situation, the bartender promptly tells them all to leave.

  • http://twitter.com/HaakonAndre1 Haakon Andre

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… they lay down their weapons and suddenly their weapons get stolen. Bam 

  • http://www.facebook.com/josh.perusse1 Josh Perusse

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar. You never see it till it hits you.

  • Paladin101230

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Char walk into a bar. As they walk up to place their order the barman asks if they know what they want. The char rubs his chin and growls “I’m not sure.” Instantly an elf appears screaming “YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!” The char and elf dissapear in a puff of smoke. The Sylvari is astonished but says “What was that?” The barman replies, “The ghost of gamers past. He gets a bit angsty when new kids show up. If you think that was bad you should have seen what he tried to do to the jedi last month!”

  • Tom

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walked into a bar. The bartender said: is this a joke or something?

  • Aacarnahan

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar.
    They enjoy a night out with each other and many other bar goers, knowing that their different races haven’t hindered their ability to be friends, nor has it created a close-minded attitude.

  • http://twitter.com/zerosouls Scott Burton

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… The Charr asks for a mug of ale and the bartender quickly fetches it for him… the Asura asks for some sweet honey milk and the bartender quickly fetches it for him… the Sylvari asks for… and is quickly interrupted by the bartender “You’re kind doesn’t belong in here” to which the Sylvari retorts “Why not, I’m a fungi?”

    • Sushiboy13

      That was good XD

  • Rockbein

    An Asura, Sylvari, and Charr walk into a bar.  The Bartender looks to the Charr and asks, “Why the long face?”

  • Kyle Bonner

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar and immediately turn around wondering where their Norn and Human companions could have wondered off to…

  • Frozen B

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… 
    The charr asks, “No one here tonight?”
    Examining the ceiling, the asura smirks, ”Except that bookah up there.”
    They all look up, and the sylvari shouts with excitment “Hiiiii Logan!”

  • Kajuhadav

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… Once… an armchair

  • JayCube

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. Everyone orders one drink, but the bartender gives each of them ten drinks. “What? I can not drink ten drinks!” asura said. “I know.” replied the bartender. “This is the Stress-test.”

  • Rukioish

    An Asura, Sylvari, and Charr walk into a bar. A Game Master teleports in and says, “please stop pirating the game and wait for release.”

  • MelonheadGT

    A charr a asura and a sylvari walks into a bar and the sylvari orders a water soup the asura orders some rusty spikes and the charr asks the bartender of a steak and the bartender asks how would you like your steak and the charr say: i only want a steak.
    Then the bartender say : yes but how would you like it?
    the charr states: i just want a pice of meat!
    but the bartender continues yes but how would you like it?
    Now the charr gets mad grabs his hammer and smack it into the table and scream in the bartenders face: I just want my bloody steak!!!!
    and the bartender replies: Ok, bloody it is.

  • Melonheadgt

    A charr a Asura and a Sylvari walks in to a bar and screamed: aoouch that hurt a bar is really hard.

  • Shadow Wolfee

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar,
    When the human bartender asks when they will have the Asura replies with “H20 you moron Bookah.” The Sylvari says “I believe I will experience some tea, if you please.” The Charr growls “Where is my mead, I want my mead or you will experience the full wrath of the Blood Legion!” 

  • Blackhorse

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The asura and the charr want some whiskey. The bartender notices he’s all out of whiskey, so he starts making malt from the sylvari to get whiskey for the asura and the charr. That’s the end of that friendship.

  • Etzel

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.
    The charr as a warrior goes first and orders a beer. Asura Beek wants a watermelon wave. Sylvari: “Now then, I’ll hae a bloody mary.”

    • Etzel

      edit: (forgotten v)
      An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.

      The charr as a warrior goes first and orders a beer. Asura Beek wants a
      watermelon wave. Sylvari: “Now then, I’ll have a bloody mary.”

  • Viljami

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walked into a bar.
    They all took their own drinks.
    The bartender norn told them not to drink their own drinks.
    The asura was clever and he gave his drink to the charr,
    so he could drink the charr’s drink instead of his own.
    The charr was mean and she kept both drinks.
    The bartender was angry and he took both drinks from the charr and drank them. The sylvari was wise and went outside to drink.

  • Waxers24

    an asura a sylvari and a charr walk into a bar you think the charr would of seen it the third time. BABOOM CHEEEE!!!!

  • Darktea

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… 
    They sit down and started to drink.
    The Asura asks the two others. Do you know about the joke no and me neither?
    They sad no.
    The Asura sad me neither. You didnt get it?
    -No
    -Me neither.

  • Friedrich

    An asura, a sylvari and a charr walk into a bar- ‘curse you auto-run, this is ridiculous!’

  • http://twitter.com/conkub Connor Kubricky

    An asura, a Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar. The bartender says “I don’t serve your kind here! Get out!” Outraged, the Asura leaves cursing under his breath, the Sylvari solemnly walks out contemplating what the bartender meant by “Your kind” but the Charr takes a seat a the closest table. When the companions met up later, the Sylvari asks “Why didn’t you leave with us?” And the Charr replies “Because he was talking to the three norn behind you.”

  • Nick Roewe

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar, they are immediately thrown out for having their guild tag be [ASS]

  • Sean

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar,
    “I wonder how Eir’s quarrel with Jormag fairs?” ponders Zojja while the bartender approaches. “Praise Dwayna it’s Destiny’s Edge but your missing Logan!” 
    “Yes and you wouldn’t know where he is would you?” asked Caithe 
    When they got their answer they left the bar, proceeded to find Logan and together the heroes, Zojja, Rytlock, Caithe, Logan, and soon after Eir proceeded to defeat the Elder Dragons.

  • James123

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. All of them orders beer but bartender gives them Sprite. “We ordered beer!” charr said furiously. And the bartender replied: “You can not drink alcohol, you are still in the Beta phase.”.

  • AGrayEh

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar……. they then walk out because their Human and Norn friends were not allowed in.

  • Darth Vader

    An asura, a sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… well… sort of… the asura walked under the bar, before laughing at his cohorts apparent blindness. A midget and a smartass, just like every other one…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Trey-Price/1612301107 Trey Price

    An asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walked into a bar. The Barkeep says to the Charr, “Hey, why do you three travel together? Seems like a pretty colorful group if you ask me”. The Charr responds. “Well, lets just say my previous companions just couldn’t outrun a centaur…. A good party is hard to find these days.”

  • 2Siders

    An Asura, a Sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The bartender asks what will they have. The Sylvari says “I would like a sip of your finest ale good bartender”, The Charr says “I want whiskey, beer is for cubs!, the Asura says “Bring half a pint of vine for me, and 2 liters of oil for my Golem bookah, and don’t waste my precious time!”. After a while the shocked bartender brings the wanted beverages, and the whole company tastefully drank their first round. After a few hours and more than half dozen of whiskey the charr throws her clothes down, and starts to dance and sing on a table. The Sylvari says “Wow, I never knew female Charrs had 2 tails!” The Asura replies “Wow, I never knew you vegetables couldn’t differentiate a male charr from a female!”

  • Phil D.

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, and the
    sylvari is carrying a duck. The sylvari tells the other two to order whatever
    they’d like. She then orders herself a drink and some water for the duck. The
    bartender asks her how she’s going to pay and she puts her ear down to the duck,
    argues with it a bit and finally say’s you don’t have to do that but fine. She
    then tells the bartender that her friend the duck said to put it on his
    bill.

  • Slark01

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…the landlord says ‘is this somekind of joke?’

  • Martinez3713

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, and I am handed a beta key.

  • http://twitter.com/CamAHutchison Cameron

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. They walk up to the bartender and ask for 3 burgers. The bartender asks the Asura how he would like it cooked. The Asura, being an expert on meat, asks for his cooked medium-well. The same question is posed to the Sylvari. The Sylvari wants hers medium. When the bartender finally asks the Charr how he would like his burger cooked, the Charr looks him and says “How do you think I want it?” There was an awkward pause, and then he finally growls “Charr-ed”.

  • CrazyGitar

    An Asura, a Charr and a Sylvari walk into a bar. I would’ve thought after the first one did the other two would have been able to avoid doing the same.

  • Razielhan274

    A charr a asura and a sylvari walks into a bar. They had a drink and went home.

  • Slark01

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar and order 3 pints of beer.
    Unfortunately, there’s a fly floating in each pint.

    The Asuran goes to the bartender and says, “Pardon me, but there’s a fly in my pint, could you pour me another?”

    The Sylvari sees the fly, shrugs his shoulders, plucks out the fly and drinks.

    The Charr grabs the fly by both wings and screams “SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT, YOU THIEVING NORN!”

  • Dubhridir

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…

    The Norn bartender asks, “what’ll be lads?”

    Charr- ale

    Sylvari- Water

    Asura- the answer as to why the portal in Lions Arch is acting up…. Its either the crystals being outta line or the resonating field flux micrometer… What say you bookah?

  • bill

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… the bartender looks up and says “well that can’t be right.  Two of you aren’t even playable yet!”

  • http://twitter.com/Molebucks Dan

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and order a round of drinks, but they taste awful. The charr makes some catty remarks, the asura shortchanges him, and the sylvari just leaves.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000335493797 Antonio Karan

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…and … 
    Wait a minute where is asura ohhh there he is under the table, anyway they walk in to the bar and …. CHARR HITS HUMAN WITH THE BOTTLE SYLVARI GOT BURNED AND !! … yea asura si still under the table.                                    THE END                                                                       

  • http://www.facebook.com/lalloud Walid Mahmoud

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar.The three saw a wonderful human mage girl drinking alone, the Sylvari though he was a beautiful gentleman and he wanted to make his show. He went with the girl in the toilet for some fun, after 2 seconds, he ran out crying like a girl from that toilet and never returned back to that bar.The Charr laughed at him and went to that girl, to show his 2 friends what a true man can do. Went with her to the toilet for having a nice … well. The charr ran out after 1 second …The Asura wanted to know what’s happening with that girl … -”Hey sister why did my friends left you that way?” said the Asura.-”Well euuhh… I told them that it a was a man playing behind the screen”The moral of the story, don’t believe any girl character telling you she is a true women :)

  • dquintela

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    the bartender comes and sees them: “What’s this?!??! some kind of joke?!?!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/sidney.rangel.3 Sidney Rangel

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, they look to the bartender and he point to a sign that says: “ prohibited CHILDREN, ANIMALS, and MARIJUANA

    (email: sydy.rs94@gmail.com  )

  • Ivalcrist

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    Discussing about who the best sword/blade user and betting all their golds…
    The charr draws his sword and cuts 30 barrels of beer with one hit…
    The crowd “applause” and was impressed….  
    The sylvari laughs and draws his blade cuts a  5 glass of beer with i strike without fluctuating the the beer..
    The crowd “applause” and was amazed….
    Next was the asura sitting still on his chair *holding the handle of his small sword*
    a mosquito pass by, the asura *swings his sword 3 times to the mosquito*, and the mosquito is still flying..
    The Sylvari,Charr and the crowd laughed and teased the asura..
    Then the asura said….. ” I Circumcised the mosquito ”
    And the crowd gone crazy then the asura wins =)

  • Elarec

    an asura a sulvari and a charr walk in to a bar …. and right around the corner the see thrall ….. he got bored of wow as well so he moved to gw2 ….

  • Horváth Tamás

    The asura, charr and Sylvari to go into the pub. The charr yelled to the bartender to give me a beer, because it is masculine. The Asura fermented wheat beer instead ask,because the consumption of beer is prohibited by the Rules of Order. The Sylvari you stillfeel the base of the vitality of the common grains, and instant gets drunk.

  • Almuska

    A Human and a Norn walk into the bar … Oh f*ck, I failed :(

  • Nassim233

    The charr, a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar. the sylvari talks about his Great dream and adventures around tyria. the asura also talks about his adventures. However the charr had nothing to add because he TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE!  BUD-DA-PHIS 

  • Karl Wilhem

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… they start a trinking contest against 3 norns. After 3 rounds the sylvari tells his friends: “Sorry guys, I wont be able to trink one more!” asura:”Come on, one more!” sylvari:” No, I’m only a plant, think about it!” Charr: “Okay thast’s really week, but we are a team, let’s give up”
    All three:”/resign” …Nothing happend
    Charr laughs:”Bad thing, but now we must keep rolling”

  • http://twitter.com/JLKirchner Joel Kirchner

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… They order their drinks and sit down.
     Out of nowhere approaches a drunken human. He walks up to the three and whispers something to them. After a minute or two he turn and walks to the Norn bartender.  He says to the bartender: HEY, I beeet juuu 50 gold I can piss in that cup across the bar from here. The Norn bartender seeing this as an easy 50gold accepts his bet.  The Human proceeds to pee allover the bar, the floor even the on the bartender, everywhere except the cup. The Norn starts to laugh and looks at the human in pity.  Oddly enough the human start laughing even louder, so the bartender looks at the human and asks: “Why are you so happy? You just lost 50 gold”   The human smiles and says: “well I might have lost 50gold, but do you see those 3 guys over there?  I’ve bet them 500 gold that I could piss all over you and your bar and not only would you not be mad mad at me, but you’d also laugh about it”Moral of this story: Humans might not have an extensive knowledge of Magic. We might not be the strongest race out there, but when it comes down to it, we will do anything to achieve our goal.
    Contact: Twitter:  @JLKirchner, E-mail: joelkirchner@live.com

  • Katicc

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar,and they hear a man talking:”Its gonna be Legen-wait…Is this a joke?What the hell are you three doing at MacLaren’s???”

  • http://twitter.com/Ro_Gustafsson Robin Gustafsson

    An Asura, a Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar, but all leave in confusion when they notice the bar changing as they grab their drinks.

    bastufight@gmail.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/jennilea.grubb Jennilea Grubb

    An asure, sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar…
    The charr tries to kill it, the sylvari tries to understand it, and the asura keeps walking into it to see if he achieves the same scientific results.

  • CB96

    An Asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.
    The Charr orders a cool pint.
    The Sylvari orders a rum & coke.
    The Asura doesnt order anything because he can’t see over the bar to look at the drinks!

  • Artlegon

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, and… ~You have been disconnected from the server~

  • Jessica

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… The crowd stares at the cute and happy family!

  • DevilAbigor

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, each of them orders a drink.
    “For battles to be fought!” – Yells Charr and drinks rum.

    “For knowledge to be found!” -  Shouts asura and drinks ale.

    “For lands to be explored!” – Speaks out sylvari and drinks water.

    “What’s the matter? too young to drink like a man, sapling? haha!” – mocks the fellow asura

    “meh, just wait a couple of days and the water will become whiskey inside me, efficient and convenient” – answers sylvari with a smile.

    “Efficent eh?” – says charr thinking about what sylvari said, “For resources to be found!” – Joyfully says charr and eats sylvari.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Honore-Balzac/100001278918936 Honore Balzac

    ……only the charr leaves.

    jbmkratos@gmail.com

  • http://twitter.com/zackintoys zack

    An Asura, Sylvari and a charr walk into a bar in Divinity’s Reach, order a round of ales, and talk about home.

    “If we were back at The Grove,” the Sylvari brags, “every fourth drink would be on the house!”

    “Well,” squeaks the Asura, “back in Rata Sum, the bartender slips me an extra drink for every new blueprint I can show him!”

    The charr is silent for a minute, then says, “It’s been a long time since my mate and I travelled from the Black Citadel; the Festival District is our home now. There’s even a pub – the High Tail Hall – with a barkeep that’s especially friendly to us Charr. You think getting an extra drink thrown in occasionally is something to brag about? It’s nothing!

    “If we were drinking at High Tail, I could walk right in and get the first beer for free, the second beer for free, the third beer for free — then they take you upstairs and have sex with you for FREE!”

    “That can’t be true!” says the Sylvari. 

    “Not a chance!” the Asura says. “Has that really happened to you?”

    “Well, no,” says the charr, “but my mate says it happens to her all the time!”

  • Killer Andrey

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… The Asura is going to the bathroom for her makeup. Thats why they’re not in this beta.

  • Sebastian Kozic

    An asura, sylvari, and a charr walked into a bar and sit near bar. In some moment a great healer sit near them and speak:
    - Hi, I’m Steve and i today make miracle. I can heal with touch of my hand. Asura immediately gave himself to heal a bad leg, the sylvari cancer and charr says:
    - Stay away, from me! I still have sick leave!

  • JJGlyph

    The bartender says, “Asura, Sylvari, Charr… A. S. C.”

    “Now all you need are those Inquest Idiots and your A.S.C.I.I. Character Set is complete!”

  • JERRY

    An asura sylvari and a char walk into a bar… the char grumbles that he’d take some of the strongest ale ye have, The sylvari cooly orders a herbal drink imported from his home land, while the Asura being technologically advanced orders a COKE!…

  • http://www.facebook.com/kyle.meek.3 Kyle Meek

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… just kidding, they were at the Lion King’s birthday party with the rest of the animals.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1232373580 Jack O’tears

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

  • Soulyre

    The Charr uses the sylvari as a mint leaf for his martini and uses the asura as a stool.

  • http://www.facebook.com/michaelkoolmoes Michael Koolmoes

    an asura a char and a sylvari walk into a bar.. when the bartender notices them he says:” no childs or gardens allowed!”

  • Norasticus

    A Charr, an Asura and a Sylvari walk into a bar. The bartender goes to the Sylvari and asks:
    Bartender: What’ll it be?
    Sylvari: Water please.
    The bartender then goes to the Asura, and asks the same question:
    Bartender: What would you like?
    Asura: I’ll have a beer, which i will distile, add some nanobots to the mixture…
    The Asura then starts to talk to himself about what he will do for the next half an hour.
    Lastly, the bartender turns to the Charr, and asks:
    Bartender: Bro, do you need some help?
    Charr, who is stuck in the doorway: I DO REQUIRE YOUR PITYFUL HELP, YOU UNWORTHY HUMAN! I AM A CHARR, AND I HAVE MY DIGNITY!
    Charr:…Please call my warband…

  • Dozzer

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…

    After ordering some hunter’s Ale, they hear a high pitched
    voice.

     

    “Hey Sylvari, nice leaves!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1788048682 Tox Avery

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the Charr get up, approached the Asuras and Sylvari and PAF !! its made Chocapic

    • slava

      but Asura is pregnant and everybody in bar looking at Charr . Nobody don’t understand that asura and char will have a very ugly baby.After few seconds
      all people get palmface xD ! 

  • Akimiya

    An Asura, a Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar…

    The Asura asks for a small Somatropin bottle. „Therefor you have to go
    to the drug store.“ the bartender replied.

    Then the Sylvari asks for a fertilizer and the bartender answered, while getting more confused „For something like this please look in a gardener store.“

    Finally the Charr comes to the bar and asks for a ball of wool. Now the bartender got mad and shouts out „Where do you think you are to order such things!?“

    Thereon the group of adventurers calmly respond: „At a merchant in Tyria.“

    Hope you like it =(^.^)=
    (just in case: Somatropin is a growth hormone xD )

    E-Mail: mamuste@gmx.at

    May the fun be with you,
    Akimiya

  • http://www.facebook.com/TheDeathShade Lance Edwards

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar they are already vary tipsy.The Charr saids to the bartender, “I’d like to buy everyone in the bar a drink and get
    one for yourself too!”
    The bartender makes the drinks and
    everyone raises their glass and yells “CHEERS!” and downs their
    drinks.

    The bartender says “That’ll be
    $37.50.”

    The Charr says, “I don’t have any money!”
    This infuriates the bartender who
    then jumps over the bar and beats the living daylights out of the Charr and throws
    him out into the street.The Asura and Sylvari was cracking up and the Bartender asked the Sylvari what he like? The Sylvari saids to the bartender, “I’d like to buy everyone in the bar a drink and get
    one for yourself too!”
    The bartender makes the drinks and
    everyone raises their glass and yells “CHEERS!” and downs their
    drinks.

    The bartender says “That’ll be
    $37.50.”

    The Sylvari replies by putting his
    thumb to his nose, wiggling his fingers, and making a loud raspberry noise
    followed by, “I don’t have any money !”
    This angers the bartender even more
    than the first time. He jumps over the bar and beats the hell out of the Sylvari and throws him out into the street onto his face and kicks him a few times for
    good measure.The bartender walks back in and looks at the Asura the Asura starts to opens his mouth,but before he can say anything the bartender says, “Let
    me guess, you want to buy the whole bar a drink and I should get one for myself,
    too, right?”

    The Asura replies, “No way,
    you get too violent when you drink!”

  • mutuh

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… The place is packed all seats are taken. The barkeep turns to the Charr: “Oh good! you brought your own bench and  entertainment, come right in!”

  • Braelyn

    A bar brawl ensues. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000280772795 David Chudalla

    An Asura, a Sylvari and a Charr walked into a bar,
    the journey they took was grand and far,
    because they travelled in the icy lands,
    to taste all the delicious norn ale brands.
    They took their drinks and yet another,
    but one of the norn couldn’t help to bother
    them and do some racist jokes,
    so then a brawl with all them folks
    filled the place with fighting sound,
    and soon almost all of them hit the ground.
    Only the Asura stood at the end,
    because no one could reach them with their hand.
    And as Norn tradition is always right
    In a tavern brawl only with fists you fight.

  • http://twitter.com/Girthmatron Stemi

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…The bartender takes orders from the charr and asura. The sylvari is about to speak when the bartender cuts him out and says “We don’t serve salad in here”.

  • http://twitter.com/decastellac Mr. DeCastellac

    A charr, a sylvari, and an asura walk into the bar. The Charr asks the Asura what his life dream is. The asura answers, “To meet MOX! What’s yours?”
    The Charr answers, “To bring the Legions together for peace.”
    “What about you?” they both ask the Sylvari.
    “No one knows why the Sylvari have been appearing in Tyria, least of all me.”

  • Phlo

    “An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…”
     and the bartender looks up at the Server Admin and says:
       “what king of F*some text missing* UP joke is this?”

  • Morturion

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. “One drink for me” the asura says “And two for the wilderness”

  • Mordachai

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar and the Norn barkeep sends his luscious human tavernwench over to show them to a table and take their orders. The Sylvari and Charr both sit down, but the Asura insists on a table for one, somewhere in a backroom. The two frown, somewhat curiously, but know better then to disagree with him. After drinking for a while, they notice the barwench bringing more and more barrels of ale and bottles of port to the backroom. The asura being so small, they wonder where all the drink is going and they decide to check. They find him, sprawled out on a table, completely drunk, muttering: “I should have paid more attention in school, i am unable to create this port-ale”

  • http://twitter.com/Unamed05 Unamed

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    And i think i’m drunk…

  • herpinder

    An asura, a charr, and a sylvari walk into a bar
    The bartender says, “Hey, I don’t like sylvaris in my bar. The charr and asura can stay, but the sylvari has to leave!” 

    badum tss

  • http://twitter.com/RickyHannigan Ricky Hannigan

    What does a Charr and a Norn have in common? Nothing. Why would you think otherwise? Seriously.

  • Rad

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. Thus ended the life of the world’s tallest asura.

  • Freezzer

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    after allot beer the Sylvari falls off his bar stool and hits the floor with his face…
    Asura says to the Charr ” I must admit this Sylvari knows exactly when to stop!!”

  • Ruonharris

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the bartender says sorry no pets allowed, so they all put their “Miniature Rytlock” away ….

  • Aljaž Laure

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    Asura : A glass of tequila.
    Sylvari : A glass of Burbon.
    Bartender : And you?
    Charr : I will have a barrel of Vodka, please. I am really hungry.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=739916978 Sean Paras

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…

    and yell GLF MONK! forgetting that there were no longer monks in Guild Wars

  • pathfinder

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…      All three adventurers take a seat at the bar and order a pint each from the barkeep. They soon realize that there is only one other patron in the tavern, a human, sitting a little way down the bar from them. It is silent in the tavern for a while until finally the human turns to the group of adventurers and pipes up,
         ”You folks see this bar. I went out into the monster infested forest, cut down some trees myself, and built this place from the ground. But nooo… they don’t call me Thackeray the bar builder.”
         Ya see stone wall out the windows. I went into the river, plagued with skale, and hand picked every stone myself, perfectly placing them one by one to raise that wall. But nooooo… they don’t call me Thackeray the wall builder!”
         Outside on the way in, did ya notice the pier out there? Of course ya did! Well I built that too! Waiting for the low tide so could go out and place each wooden pier one by one, slowly building it out. But nooooooo… they don’t call me Thackeray the pier builder!!!”

         ”But f*ck a sheep once…”

  • Thane8

    A Charr, an Asura, and a Sylvari walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?

  • Soll

    …it was an Internet bar, they all played GuildWars2 Beta together and had an great time pwning everyone.

  • Zoozebras

    An Asura, Charr and Sylvari walked in, the Charr ordered rum, the Asura ale and the Sylvari was about to order rum but the bartender askeded for her age, she replied, “A year old” The bartender starred at her, “your under age.”

  • Lonewolfx

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    A norn points and laughs while a human tends to the concussions

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000475395670 Geoff Pritzl

    An Asura, Sylvari and Charr all walk in to a bar and sit down. The Asura orders a Bud Light, the Sylvari orders a Miller Light and the Charr orders a water. The asura and sylvari ask the charr ‘Why didnt u order a beer?’ and the charr replied ‘Well if you’re not drinking beer, neither should I.’ :D

  • KagawaModric

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    they got drunk, and lived happily ever after

  • Justin Johnson

    An Asura, A Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar, the bartender looks at them and asks them what they want. The Charr says “It’s hot out there so I’ll take a beer”, The Sylvari says “It’s hot out there so I’ll take some water”. The Asuran looks up at the bartender and says “Nothing for me, it’s hot out there so I was using these two for shade.”

  • Jordan hagopian

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…

    -They walk up 1 by 1 to order drinks

    -The charr goes up to the bartender and says “what do you think is a good drink for a fierce warrior like me.”

    -The Bartender says “oh you need a ice cold beer made in tyria.”

    -After the charr orders his drink the sylvari goes up and asks the bartender “whats a good drink for a strong hunter like me”

    -The bartender says “oh you know what you need a good strong shot of whisky homemade in the bar.”

    -After the sylvari ordered the Asura went up to order his drink and says to the bartender “what type of drink do you think would be good for a brave thief like me”

    -And the bartender said “you should know you steal my potions of growth every day”

  • Snakeshadow

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    They order a few rounds of drinks, and then some Jumbo Nachos, but the asura and sylvari know that the charr will take the lions share because everyone knows charrs are aggressive drunks, so they secretly team up to outwit the charr in drinking games til he passes out cold in a drunken stupor, leaving the sylvari and asura to split the the nachos between themselves in glorious victory (and the rest of the charrs drinks to wash em down!)

  • Damon F.

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The bartender says with delight to the asura and the charr, “Ah. I see you’ve brought more supplies for my beer!”

  • Zilaa

    An Asura, Sylvari and Charr all walk in to a bar and sit down. The Asura orders a Bud Light, the Sylvari orders a Miller Light and the Charr orders a water. The asura and sylvari ask the charr ‘Why didnt u order a beer?’ and the charr replied ‘Well if you’re not drinking beer, neither should I

  • Anthony Figueroa

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and proceeded to a seat for their drinks to be ordered. “I believe we have saved you twice from giant champion pigs slyvari, your name and a Strip tease will return the favor!” demanded the charr.” “Erm.. Uhh… my name.. is Leslie.. and i don’t think you want a Stri…”
    “Now now..” the asura interrupted “that is no way to talk to a female Pat. Could I order you a drink or tend to any ‘hidden’ wounds you might have my beautiful Leslie.” Pat being furious by this outrage used a very powerful gaze against the asura which frightened him off without question. “No more talk! Just the STRIP TEASE!” Also being affected by the gaze Leslie began the strip show going from its leather armor stripping everything off but the lower under wear. “Are you postively sure you want this Pat..?” Leslie said hesitantly. ” This is the best part! TAKE IT OFF” yelled Pat. Leslie removed the under wear and  making its way out from the inside unveiled a long slimy vine. “OMG, DISGUSTING WHAT IS THAT!?!?” Grouched Pat. “It is my Chicocobra, or what you might call the third leg, love muscle or even the saluting arm!

  • Originofwaves

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    and gain xp for completing the “Bad Joke” quest :)

  • Madeline

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, and the bartender says “Sorry we don’t allow children, gardens, or pets! Get out!”

  • KBranch

    An asura, charr, and sylvari walk into a bar. They order drinks, and the bartender offers them a meal. The Charr looks at the Asura and says “No thanks, I brought a snack.” The Asura looks at the Sylvari and says “No thanks, I brought salad.” The Sylvari looks at them, leans over the bar and whispers “I’ll pay anything for an Asura/Charr sandwich.”

  • Dager

    a charr, a sylvari and an asurr walks into a bar……… they wake up in hospital with their head wrapped in bandages

  • Sameon

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and they start to drink. After a few shots sylvari and charr start to make out. After a while the sylvari is going upstairs to wait for the charr in the room then the asura ask’s the charr:”Hey man are you not afraid of making love to another species?” Charr:”No making love to an sylvari is the same as making love to hollow tree, just before you start, smack her realy hard on the bottom. ”
    Asura:”Why whoud you do that?”
    Charr:”So that you are sure there are no bees.” :)

  • Deadchef

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and say oww!

  • KBranch

    An asura, sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar. They order drinks and the bartender asks them if they would like some food with it. The Charr looks at the Asura and says “No, I’ve brought a snack.” The Asura looks at the Sylvari and says “No thank you, I’ve brought a salad.” The Sylvari looks at them both nervously, leans over the counter and whispers “I’ll pay you anything for an Asura/Charr sandwich.”

  • Thaisam89

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…they all walk up to the bartender and ask ” Trick or Treat ? ”

  • http://twitter.com/xagarelic ABU

    An Asura, Charr, and a Sylvari walk into a bar and ordered drinks

    Asura: It always baffled me how’s people always comes to a bar to socialize and yet there is always fight, even on Rata Sum, but I expect to learn more from these bookah.

    So they throw the asura into the crowd and starts a bar brawl

  • Mahanth

    and the bartender says come back when your a higher lvl

  • http://www.facebook.com/cristian.flores.501 Cristian Flores

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar to do a gay party

  • http://twitter.com/Wright89 Daniel Wright

    … An asura and a sylvari walk into a charr

  • Drez

    An Human walk into Lion’s Arch and he found only a Norn… 

    The human : “Where are all??”
    The Norn : “…I don’t Know. We let’s go to ask it in a bar^^”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=732434928 Danielle Opdycke

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…the norn ducks. 

  • IAmTheRad

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The human there looks at them and says “Where’s the nord?” The group of 3 laugh, and say “She’s still stuck back at the Asuran gates.”

  • Scylax

    An Asura, Sylvari and Charr walk into a bar and order a few drinks. After about 4 shots, the Charr started to show some attraction towards the Asura. The Sylvari just enjoyed the show and wanted to know what it all would lead to, now 17 and a ½ months later the Sylvari knows who his parents were and has a little brother.

  • Cmorgan7794

    An asura, sylvari and charr walk into a bar, and go to the different zones where their fellow asura, sylvari and charr are waiting to start the drinking contest.  Yet the asura and sylvari are only surprised to discover that their starting zones aren’t ready for the public.  

  • Dm

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the asura asks for the drink for intelligent people and the barman gives him a glass of water the charr laugh at him at asks for the more vigoroth drink and the barman gives him a glass of milk the sylvari laugh at them and ask for the drink made with his. Origin and both the sylvari and the asura got confused and asked what do you expect to drink? And he said a Beer

  • Rynil

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    but the Norn and Human remembered to dunk under it!

  • Nicholas Swede

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… A human necromancer says, ” Sweet i got more minions to have fun with now. Now rise and join me for a tea party”.

  • http://twitter.com/Sketchinabox Pascal

    An asura, a sylvari and a charr walk into a bar….
    They see Rytlock Brimstone sitting on one of the bar stools.
    They search for another bar…

  • iRideTheShortBus

    and they all screamed “ouch”?

  • http://www.facebook.com/stosic.nemanja Anonymous

    An asura, sylvari and a char walk into a bar and order three eggnogs. The charr gets double pint, sylvari gets water and asura doesn’t get anything. Why – because asura was in his golem…

  • Altasia

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and asked bartender: “Is there any beta key left for Guild Wars 2″?

  • http://twitter.com/AgeNightroad Adrian Lloyd

    An Asura, Charr, and a Sylvari walk into a bar…
    After drinking, they realized that they have forgotten their gold pouches at their inn. The Asuran declared “I’ll use my genius to get out of this!”. The Asuran walked back from the bar with a grimm look of defeat on his face. The Charr declared “I threaten my way out of this!”. The Charr walked back from the bar also in defeat. The Sylvari decided to try to get out of it. The Charr and the Asuran both thought that a 1  year old Sylvari would never be able to pull it off. She walked back with a smile on her face and said they could go. The Charr and the Asuran looked at each other in disbelief then looked at the Sylvari incredulously and asked her how she did it. The Sylvari grinned and said “I just kept asking: Why do bars insist on supplying a substance to people that promotes the murder of my brethren on a daily basis?”.

  • Ryuad Rune

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, The bartender says to the Asura and the Charr “Hey!! You cant bring your own salad here, GET OUT!!”

  • Brian Thomson

    An Asura, a Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar. The Asura orders a glass of ale, the Sylvari orders a pot of green tea, and the Charr orders the young barmaid to cower before him on all fours, quivering in tremulous fear before his superior strength and hideous battle scars, and prepare herself for an excruciating death at the mercy of his naked, gleaming, razor-sharp claws. The Asura says “no, you blithering idiot, that’s not how you order a Bloody Mary …!”

    • Brian Thomson

       PS: I’m @bnt0 on Twitter

    • http://twitter.com/zerosouls Scott Burton

      Isn’t drinking green tea cannibalism then? :D

      • Brian Thomson

         All part of the great circle of life. Nothing is wasted ..!

  • http://www.facebook.com/sarcasticspastic Zebedeezebedaa Rawrrawr Snuggl

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar. The bartender says “What…is this some kind of a joke?” 

  • Jilley

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and the barman says to the charr:”Hey!! What’s this long face!??” The charr looks at the barman and answers:”What do you mean?? I’m born like this!”.. The asura spits his beer laughing to the charr:”Ahaha!! He meant that you look sad!”..”Ohh!..” Says the charr, “I’m not sad, I’m terribly annoyed by my hair, I’m changing it for the summer and it itches so much!!”.. The sylvari looks at the charr and says:”It’s in these moments that I feel lucky to simply lose my leaves..”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1034101792 Andreas Troelsgaard Mørch

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar. There are no stools, so the Charr uses the Asura as a chair while smoking the Sylvari. The Norn-bartender then attends to the Charr; You want some ale, my friend? The Charr flips the table and leaves!

  • LongestLife

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and the bar tender says that Sylvari is going to have to LEAF.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=682779550 Tsang Tin Kei Timothy

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…… And become a bar of that bar.

  • Hitriagob

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… the azura asked for a small cup, the charr asked for a big glass, the sylvary wanted a plant pot 

  • Rads

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and attend the dance contest. Norn and Human are the judges so they ended up a tie.

  • Roy_nunes

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    5 minutes later the asura and the sylvari hastily leave in search of a new bar, as the charr begins to create a mini Searing within the bar because they were out of Firewhisky

  • Robby

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, but are unable to drink together due to overflow servers.

  • Elindhout

    an asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the sylvari and charr said ouch! the asura fit under it

  • Order to Kill

    They died from head trauma.

  • SunbeaM

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. They spent 80 USD purchasing their drinks. But the bartender would not give them those drinks. They tried to get a refund and leave, but nothing came of that either. When they ask why, the bartender says “Error 37″.

  • AdamsUsername

    An Asura, Sylvari and Charr walk into a bar.

    The three walk up to the barman who takes their drink order before asking “So would you like the pretzels, dried fruit or nuts with those?”

    The Charr looks over to his two party members briefly before replying “Pretzels; I’ve been dealing with fruits and nuts all day.”

    adam_younis13@hotmail.com

  • Shishaw

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… to try and pickup the ladies.

    The asura quips, “my cerebrum isn’t the only physionetically extranormous apparatus I possess if you comprehend what I’m relaying!” 

    The sylvari exclaims, “your endurance bar must be zero, because you’ve been rolling through my Dream of Dreams all night!” 

    The charr roars, “are you from the Iron Legion? Because you’re making me hard!”

  • Shishaw

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… to try and pickup the ladies.

    The asura quips, “my cerebrum isn’t the only physionetically extranormous apparatus I possess if you comprehend what I’m relaying!” 

    The sylvari exclaims, “your endurance bar must be zero, because you’ve been rolling through my Dream of Dreams all night!” 

    The charr roars, “are you from the Iron Legion? Because you’re making me hard!”

    None of them scored.
    (forgot to add this)

  • Christopher Schölzel

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    … but the place is really overcrowded all the people in there are making really bad “An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…”-jokes, so they leave and search for a place less… strange. XD

  • Rafael Cruz

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.
    They asks for a beer but every beer bring an fly on it.The Asura ask for another.The Sylvari take it and drinks.The Char take ir and tightens the fly necks and say:- SPIT WHAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH BASTARD !

  • TripleZer0

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… actually just the Sylvari and Charr. The Asura walked right under it.

  • Quench

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. Captain Smash got a new stool, potted plant, and fur rug that day.

  • Bayes Justin

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… this was very unfortunately a human only bar as in this part of town it was segregated from the other ‘non-human’ races. These poor souls were slaughtered for being different. Then the asura, sylvari and charr all walk out peacefully never to been seen again.

  • Natalee

    An Asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the bartender gaze upon their presence and quickly reach for a torn piece of paper, a quill, and an ink bottle. As the three sit down, the bartender quietly ask, “If it’s not too much to ask, my daughter plays Guild Wars 2 like 24/7, can I get an autograph for her as a birthday present? *beam a big smile at the three*

  • Gary Stevens

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… you’d think one of them would have ducked.

  • Jourdan

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.  The bartender says “What is this, a bad joke?” And they all three leave.

  • Xilef

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and got shot by the barkeep

  • AoPle

    An Asura, Sylvari and Charr walk into a bar … says the bartender to Sylvari and Charr: “Children are not allowed!”

  • Hammerick

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and come out soon because is closed.

  • Phil_dy2000

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and lived happily ever after.

  • Pcm979

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The Charr says ‘ouch’, the Sylvari ducks and the Asura walks right under it.

  • guld

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the asura ordered a shot, the charr ordered a keg, and the sylvari a watering-can.

  • http://www.facebook.com/nuevocharrua Diego Mendez

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar … and bar fight!!

  • Heaven

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…they want to party hard

    barman asks: oooooooh welcome guys, you are free from fighting eh?
    Asura says: yeah but we have next Beta weekend pfff….
    Charr says: i am tired fighting, i want hot chicks and mojitos
    Sylvari says: yeah, and after release no free time at all
    Barman says: you are still on beta eh?
    They say: yeah
    Barman says: Can i have a beta key?
    and here comes the STRONG HUGE guildmag.com and gives poor barman the precious beta key………and he buys them drinks ofcourse :D

    Mail : Heaven1gr@gmail.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/ricky.kruse1 Ricky Kruse

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…after a half hour of drinks the asura and sylvari notice the charr peaking in his armor, thinking nothing of it.  Thirty minutes go buy and they both notice his check again, starting to wonder?  Another thirty minutes go but and the charr checks again, the asura and sylvari ask why do you keep checking your armor what’s in there?  The charr replies “it’s a picture of my hairy wife, I get to go home once she starts to look good”  :P

  • http://twitter.com/davidhthorpe David Thorpe

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… I forget the rest.

  • bigMOle

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and meet colin johanson, together they drank a beer, drank a beer again and drank it again …

  • RoCkStArDaYax

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar ,then the servant came and asked who would like a Charaber have is wine with Coke, but the Charr got it wrong and said where they have hidden the Charr, the servant thought he wanted to know where the Charaber be waiting, and said in the basement The charr looks at the servant and  the Charr say it will  a Legen wait for it dary Night end of the story light

  • Nimiar

    A norn walked out of a bar.

  • Dayax15

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar  then the servant came and asked who would like a Charaber have is wine with Coke, but the Charr got it wrong and said where they have hidden the Charr, the servant thought he wanted to know where the Charaber be waiting, and said in the basement
    The charr looks at the servant and we said a Legendary Night
    end of the story light

  • Dalamar

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and order a drink each. Asura sees a fly in his drink and calls the bartender to order another drink. Sylvari sees a fly in his drink and gently pulls it out, setting the creature of nature free.  Charr sees a fly in his drink, grabs it by the wings and squeezes, shouting at it “give it back asshole!”.

    Mail: dalamar@4me.pl

  • http://twitter.com/DaleAndreoli Dale Andreoli

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The charr and asura ask the bartender why it smells so bad. The sylvari cuts in and says “Oh thats my bad. I soiled my plants.”

  • Amanda Myrick

    A Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar… the Asura walks under it. “What bookas!”

  • Chris Pelha

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…beque ~ Players walking by ask in a role-playing manner “what’s that great smell”, the npc chef replies “Charred kitty kat with a side of broccoli and topped off with my secret ingenious blue berry sauce” ~ That will put some hairs on ya chest.

  • http://twitter.com/Morthoron Andrea Marcone

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. They looks quite sad. So the bartender asks them:
    “Why so upset guys? Did you do something wrong?”.
    “No – says the Asura- We just saved the world for the 4th or 5th time, or something like this”.
    “So what’s up?”
     ”I think- replies the Sylvari- that our achievements won’t be remembered as well as we expect…”
    “What do you mean?” the bartender asks.
    “There’s something I can’t understand- says the asura, and talking to the charr he asks “What do you think we have to worry, LilFluffyPinkFairy94?”

  • http://twitter.com/HonsenL Honsen Lin

    An asura, a sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar. The charr, frustrated after failing the last dungeon run, attempts to blow off steam by challenging his companions to a free-for-all bar brawl. The asura and sylvari agree and the brawl ensues. 

    After a while, none of the combatants are able to gain an advantage as all three are evenly matched. However, fortune soon smiles upon the charr as the sylvari and asura suddenly slip and slam heads with each other, dazing both. This allows the charr to simply knock out both his companions to win. The charr picks up a bar stool to finish the fight when…

    The young man’s little sister walked in to her room and said, “Dude, I know you’re upset that your computer can’t run Guild Wars 2, but what exactly are you doing with Mr. Muggles, mom’s houseplant, and my old treasure troll doll, in my dollhouse?”

  • Michelangelo

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar..meanwhile a guy with dyslexia is walking into a bra.

  • Mafia010368

    An asura,sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and dolan and gooby offers them a drink, but gooby gives them the wrong thing they ordered. Gooby pls

  • BigH001

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…  and ask for a drink. They sit at a table off to the side and quietly talk while they wait. When they are finished drinking they pay their bill, leave an appropriately sized tip, and walk out the door thanking the barkeep on their way out.
    When the door closes the barkeep wipes off the sweat on his forehead, breathes a sigh of relief, and says to the server: “All the stories I’ve heard of those three were greatly exaggerated. That wasn’t so bad.”

  • Megamon88

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and they have a very nice intellectual discussion about how the humans and the norn look like bookahs.

  • Sotkap

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.It was a Gay Norn Warrior Day.

  • http://twitter.com/aldwin_04 Aldwin Layug

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the Norn accepted the challenge to brawl. 

  • ArcTheBadger

     An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…but having never completed law school in North America are unfamiliar with our judicial process and depart disheartened and dismayed.

  • Mao Sheng Foo

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar just to realise they got into a Norn Brawl

  • Senaji

    …and the bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

  • James

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The Char orders something befitting his ferocity and is given a stein of strong ale. The sylvari requests something to suit her grace and is given an elaborate cocktail. The asura then demands something to suit his superiority, and is given the bill.

  • Heorte

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    The ArenaNet bartender asks, “What will it be?”

    The Charr pushes his way first in line and asks, “I want some crispy bacon with a side of burnt toast.”
    The ArenaNet bartender says, “This is a bar not a restaurant get out!”
    The Charr pouts and leaves the bar.

    The Sylvari is next in line and asks, “May I have something vegan? I’m a little anxious when it comes to ordering something processed, or has anything to do with hurting, being tested or harming animals, and honestly it’s just -”
    The ArenaNet bartender interrupts and says, “Look lady, this is a bar, now you came here for a drink and I’ll give you one, but I can’t insure any of the above so you might as well leave.”
    The Sylvari scowls and “leaves.”

    The Asura goes to the ArenaNet bartender, but before he could ask what he wants the ArenaNet bartender laughs and says, “Okay little man what would you like to have? Would you like some bacon or perhaps something vegan?”
    The Asura smiles and says, “I would like one Screwdriver please.”
    The ArenaNet bartender exclaims in delight, “That’s what I’m talking about. Finally someone ordered a drink around here. One Vodka and Orange coming right up!”

    The Asura says, “No, no, no! I need a screwdriver for my siege golem. It broke down when I was on my way here.”
    The ArenaNet bartender slaps his face, and murmurs to himself, “I’m so glad my shift is almost over so I can finally RELEASE.”

  • http://twitter.com/MirandaSyn Miranda Syn

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The charr turns to them and asks what drink would they like to get. The asura pipes up with, “A malatov cocktail!” whereas the sylvari looks a bit lost. 

    The charr pauses before saying, “Fine, I’ll order something for you.” After a moment, the bartender drops a martini down in front of the sylvari, who shrieks and makes a run for the door. The charr grabs her and asks, “What? What is it?”

    The sylvari growls at him. “You could have told me this was a butchering house! They have sylvari eyeballs in their stupid drinks!”

    The charr looks over at the martini and sighs. “I’m sorry. I forgot to order the martini without olives.”

  • juan on juan
  • Lady Death

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, “oww”.

  • shah ajim

    After a long dungeon run, an asura, a sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and fainted from massive concussion. 
    ” Damn… We really should use the door.. next time ” was the charr last words..

  • http://www.facebook.com/doctorjeremeyneil Jeremey Neil Chinshue

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar, the Asura tells the bartender to “hit me with the strongest thing you’ve got.” So he releases hundreds of Moas into the bar.

  • Richard Hu

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar… and walked minutes later out of a wreckage.

  • project CIT

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.. inside the bar is so dark,”OUCH! OH sorry i can’t see ya asura.”sylvari said.

    john_chan0000@yahoo.com.hk

  • Tcheuvinicius

    .. just Singing In the Rain and dance all night. The End.

  • Adrian

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, much drinking followed. The charr wasn’t the only one who left ”horny”…

  • Biovito

     An asura, a sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/E4FSUIXV4NMECJ6CZNUJ4OVSRQ jack

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the asura says wait do you bookahs understand the complex process of making the worlds best ale? You know its we asura who make the finest Ale…wait nevermind I’m taking to bookahs, do you even understand me?

  • Cr0ssen

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar get drunk and dance like crazy not even care in there surroundings :D

  • Matskeleton

    An assurance, sylvari and charr walk into a bar, the Acura and sylvari say ouch but the charr walks right through it.

  • harri

    A sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.

    The asura walks underneath it.

  • Nick

    An Asura, Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar to find a Necromancer bartender mixing a “special” drink.  They walk up to the bartender and ask whats in it, the bartender quietly replies, “It’s the same as any other drink, but it has a special pizazz.”  They ask how much the drink costs, and the bartender tells them it’s on the house as they begin to drink.  They wake up the next morning with each others pants on their head, the Asura in a tree, with a Centar in bed with the Charr, and the Sylvari no where to be found.  The Asura wakes up first and nudges the Charr to wake them up so they can find their Sylvari friend but says, “I guess you COULDN’T outrun a Centar!”  Thus begins “The Hangover 3:  GW2 style.”

  • Mimi2771

    An Asura, Sylvari and Charr walk into a bar. The Asura says to the Charr, “Go Fetch the stick!”

  • Neonn44

    an asura, sylvari and charr walk into a bar and the charr gets drunk and after he wakes up from passing out the night before he ask why the sylvari why is he wet and why is the asura dead. the sylvari tells him after you got drunk you and thought i was a tree peed on me and looked at the asura and screamed mole people are invading the earth and killed him and passed out

  • http://www.facebook.com/roger.c.ken Roger Chin Wei Ken

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. But got kicked out, because there’s a sign that says “NO CAT, NO MOUSE & NO PLANT”. And they left saying “RACIST BASTARD”.

    robotoksasa@hotmail.com

  • Chupa12

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…
    After a while the dust settled down and the human came out.
    And the bar was empty…

    Never go in a human bar…

  • Taparok

    … and the bartender thought, “Thank the Gods, there is still for Tyrian Peace!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/ebbikenezer Todd Kosinski

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar.  The bartender says, “Where’d you get that cow?!?”With a snort of derision the charr chides him, “I am no cow, whelp!  Fetch me my ale!”
    Before the bartender can turn to fetch the ale, the asura looks at him and says, “You know, you really shouldn’t insult such powerful warriors, it’s not conducive to a long, healthy life.”
    The bartender replies, “I was talking about that fat sylvari wench you brought in here, she’s a fighter too eh?”

    ebbikenezer@yahoo.com

  • Kyozo

    Guile theme goes with everything even (An asura, sylvari and a charr walking into a bar)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001280344680 András Lednyiczky

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar … i cant find joke here!! can you?:P

  • http://twitter.com/raikuson Kam Hatcher

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar…but the asura got turned away at the door. They don’t serve minors.

  • Pkponcho

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar to drink a few beers, after a long day of battle… The bartender to see them, say that would not sell beers to the little Azura with babe face. So the big charr tired was furious and take to him by the neck. The Sylvari concerned asked him to calm down and the bartender shaking from fear, decided to meet them. Sitting at their table, laughing at what happened, they did not realize that the bartender was the best friend of primordius. And accompanied by him, shout: THEY WANT TO TAKE THE ONLY REASON TO WAKE UP! BEEERRRRRRRR!An asura, sylvari and a charr ran out a bar :D

    Primordus: GROARRRRRRRRR! Hicks! Hicks! Hicks!

    ____________________________________________________________

    Sorry for my english. There are so many the reasons that i want to win that i did my best effort.

    Thanks for the opportunity Guildmag.com here a humble follower.

  • Matthewnguyen93

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and order up some drinks. The charr ordered a mug of milk; the sylvari ordered a mug of water; and the asura ordered a mug of beer. The bartender ask the charr and sylvari why they are not drinking beer. The charr replied ” i need the calcium to grow out my horns.” The sylvari answered,” i need Water to Survive and grow.” Then the bartender asked the asura, ” why are you drinking beer when your friends are not?” the asura stood on the stool, raised his mug and shouted out ” I go big or I go home!”

  • Harryk87

    An asura, a sylvari and a charr walk in a bar to dring and boast. The barman, standing behind his counter, greets them: “Hello you two!”

  • Cheeseface

    An asura, sylvari, and a charr walk into a bar. They start drinking and initiated reverse evolution. The asura said, “I am not happy.” The charr responded, “Then which dwarf are you?”

    mage_4life@hotmail.com

  • http://www.oscarchung.com/ Oscar Chung

    … they would like to have a drinking competition, and the last one standing would clearly be the winner. The score has been set not long after. The sylvari won, surprisingly before she had finished her first drink. Both the asura and the charr had fell unconscious.

    People heard the story and asked the sylvari what really happened. Then she started with a smile, “well at first both of them just exchanged some insults, but then shortly it turned to be something bigger. It’s not about the alcohol anyway.”

  • Cenuke

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar but the manager says it’s closed for now.
    Now those 3 people have no way to get drunk or high. So the Asura conjures up some of her own Absinthe. The Sylvari cultivates her own pubes that are apparently hallucinogenic, and the Char goes to the temple, grabs the fire and a glasses.

    The all shout, “Let’s get f*cked up!”

    More of a story than a joke, but hey…

  • Cenuke

    An Asura, Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar but the manager says it’s closed for now.Now
    those 3 people have no way to get drunk or high. So the Asura conjures
    up some of her own Absinthe. The Sylvari cultivates her own pubes that
    are apparently hallucinogenic, and the Char goes to the temple, grabs
    the fire and some shot glasses.

    The all shout, “Let’s get f*cked up!”

    More of a story than a joke, but hey…

    -Sorry, messed up my last post-

    forgot to put my email

    c3nuke@gmail.com   Thanks and goodl uck everyone

  • Chybby

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The barman greets the asura and says, “We don’t allow cats in here, it’s going to have to stay outside.” The charr walks right up to the bartender and roars ferociously in his face, with enough force to knock him over. Cowering in fear, the bartender says “Ok, it can stay! But the tree still has to leaf…”

  • Andrew Mears

    An Asura, Sylvari and Charr walk into a bar and 1,000 Guild Wars 2 players rush to the forums to complain about their races not being allowed in the same bar. NERF ASURA, SYLVARI AND CHARR!!

  • Time_warp

    They drank their fill and had a great time until the sylvari ordered a salad. Things got awkward.

    (Just doing my part to help hit that 1k mark ;p )

  • http://www.facebook.com/Vokseli Tommi Pohjolainen

    An Asura, a Sylvari and a Charr walk into a bar. They all look pretty sad, and a Norn bartender asks, “Why the long faces?”

    The Asura goes first and says “I hate being this short. Even for an Asura I’m a really short fellow. My fellow Asurians laugh and snicker at me behind my back.”

    The bartender mixes up a potion, gives it to the Asura and says “Here you go. This will make you as tall as a Jotun.” The Asura drinks the potion, grows and runs happily out of the bar.

    Then the Charr goes “I’m old. You know, smooth face, among our race, our fur determines if we’re handsome or not. All the scars from my battles have left empty spots of fur and left it harsh. It doesn’t have that shine it did and women think I’m disgusting.”

    The bartender mixes another potion and hands it to the Charr. “This will make your fur shinier than a cubs, my friend! Drink up!” The Charr drinks the potion, notices the difference straight away and runs to the streets merrily.

    The Sylvari goes last and says “I want to carry a weapon like the strong warriors on the battlefield, but because of my small figure, I can barely lift a sword. I would like to be strong!”

    The bartender mixes up yet another potion, hands it to the Sylvari and goes “This mixture will make your muscles grow and make you strong as a Dolyak!” The Sylvari drinks, picks up a battleaxe and runs to the nearest battlefield.

    Just a few feet away sits a human, looking confused and asks “I didn’t see them change in any way, what happened?”

    The bartender smirks and says “Alcohol does wonders.”

    • http://www.facebook.com/Vokseli Tommi Pohjolainen

      Two lessons of the story: Norn booze is strong with the presence of alcohol and it makes you long, handsome and strong. And gives your hair that shine you’ve always dreamed of.

      • DutchSunshine

        Because you’re worth it? ;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/mark.khoroshansky Mark Khoroshansky

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar , the bartender looks at the sylvari , and says  ”Sorry we don’t serve food in here” .

  • Cody

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, nuff said.

  • http://twitter.com/Sexxxecute Roarek

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The charr orders a strong ale, and the bartender asks “And for the sprout?” The sylvari, assuming she should be offended by being likened to a common plant, checks to be sure the bar tender was even addressing her. “Were you asking my Asura friend here, using sprout as a description for his height?” The bartender replies, “Nope, didn’t even notice the whelp. What’ll it be, leaf head?”

  • Royals

    an asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar and the bartender tells the asura,
    “sorry we don’t serve people under age”

  • Swtortwi

    A Asura, a Sylvari, and a Charr walk into a bar. The Charr ask that the bartender where his restrooms are, the bartender responds, for your kind the litter box is next to the hobbit hole wa,it Aursa entrance

  • joel abreu

    An asura, sylvari, and charr walk into a bar, roaring with laughter. They grew up together and not once did they ask each other why they were so different. So after a couple of drinks, the asura and the charr ask the sylvari, ” hey, how come you look so green?” The sylvari answers, ” what do you mean? Aren’t we all green?” And everyone throws up. XD

  • Talindra

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, the bartender looked at the slyvari and said “If you are looking for the fancy dress party, thats the next bar down the street..and by the way, they don’t let pets or kids in either” he added, with a wave of his hand at the Asura and Charr.

  • Aervyn

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar. The charr orders himself a beer and the asura asks for a milk. While the bartender hands the two of them what they ordered the sylvari starts to cry. The charr walks over to him and says “Hey wimp, stop crying and drink some of my beer”. But the sylvari cries even harder. So the asura walks over to him and says “Milk has to be the solution. It has lots of proteins and is very nutritious.”. Still, the sylvari keeps on crying. Eventually the bartender asks him “What up tree boy?” and while shaking and crying the sylvari says “Those mugs were made by my brother.”. The bartender said “So what, I bought them fair and square.” and the sylvari answers “You don’t understand, they are made of my brother!”

  • Chance

    An Asura, a Sylvari, and a Charr crawl into a bar and on a barstool.  The bartender turns around and says, “What in Tyria happened to you?!?”  They all look at the bartender in unison and reply, “We were off fighting centaurs, but then we took an arrow to the knee.”

  • Sam B

    An asura, sylvari and a charr walk into a bar, and the bartender says “Welcome soldiers we’ve been expecting you”
    Asura proclaims “We need a table for 3″
    Sylvari whispers “Dude we’re in a Bar not a five-star hotel”
    Asura “Oh right, lets just get our drinks first”
    Asura, Sylvari sit down and wait for Charr to return.
    Asura questions “Where is Charr??”
    Sylvari “No idea, maybe in the toilet as usual?”
    Silence….
    Asura “I told her not to drink too much last night!”
    Sylvari knowing Asura and Charr live together “Drink what?”
    Asura “Heh, it’s nothing”
     

  • Lionel Rb

    An asura, sylvari and and charr walk into a bar, when they enter, the bartender says :
    - Wow, I’m sorry, but NO DOGS here, especially that big !
    The Charr answers :
    - Hum… I’m not a dog… I’m a CHARR !! Ignorant…
    And the bartender, surprised, says :
    - A charr ??!! I heard of that race, well, it’s way huger than I expected…
    And the Charr answers sarcastically : 
    - Yeah…That’s what she said.

    THANKS FOR READING :) 

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